Convention Reports
			Welcome to the First Agent 
			Convention Reports! A collection of caustic, exaggerated, 
			self-serving, cosplay-negligent recaps that somehow are still 
			beloved treasures of internet forums everywhere. Rest assured that 
			all stories are at least based on true events, but after that 
			nothing is guaranteed. Now that I'm hitting half a dozen conventions 
			a year, the simple list is getting a little bit unwieldy, so here's 
			a nice table to instantly go to your favorites: 
  
			Cons with an Asuka icon involve 
			freak Tiffany Grant run-ins.    | 
		
		
			
				
					
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						The last one! My girlfriend joins me for a return trip 
						to Wisconsin Dells. This time, we're actually going to 
						try that waterpark thing. We're also going to give the 
						table a miss and hang out with new and old friends, play 
						some games and take some different volunteer shifts. 
						
							- Does it count as a fanboy moment if I forgot 
							someone was in a role?
 
							- Watching Nick Izumi watch Lucky Star with the 
							sound off. What could better?
 
							- Announcing the tenth anniversary commemorative 
							Lain binge.
 
						 
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						After last year's insanity, Convergence was a welcome 
						respite from all the other madness in my life. Somehow, 
						that's sincere as things are toned down to the point 
						where driving there and back was actually quite 
						enjoyable. 
						
							- The Harry Potter party continues, this time with 
							a fury caused by rather indifferent badgers.
 
							- How searching for dinner Friday night turned 
							into a million disasters at once.
 
							- Let's play cricket with a Doctor Who writer!
 
						 
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						In part two of an insane tripleheader, Anime Central 
						offers up everything at once. It doesn't injure me as 
						much as last year, but that doesn't mean there aren't 
						just as many adventures. Anything that involves Nabeshin 
						certainly will. 
						
							- A Thursday night slumber party, far away from 
							the convention... and Walmart.
 
							- The guaranteed way to make a delivery guy show 
							up faster than expected.
 
							- A powerful alliance conquers the masses during a 
							fire drill.
 
						 
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						It's not that I didn't hang out with guests all weekend, 
						it's my therapist says I should try to block time with 
						guests at this convention from my memory. But don't 
						worry, because I've got plenty of time with friends, 
						video games and old treasures from the 90's to keep me 
						occupied. 
						
							- Random overnight speed runs are the best kinds 
							of speed runs.
 
							- Two panels run, two audiences broken with just 
							the right YouTube clips.
 
							- A spontaneous April Fool's Day joke that ended 
							with me shilling the wrong convention.
 
						 
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						In need for some off days to spend off, Milwaukee 
						becomes the first of several "2.5 day" conventions this 
						year. There's just as much action, but less space to 
						cram it all in. Muppets, fire alarms and tacos away! 
						
							- If you've got extra badges for your group... may 
							as well use them.
 
							- Finally getting to meet those Doug Walker and 
							Little Kuriboh people that are apparently here.
 
							- Three hours badging a spot ravaged by fire 
							alarms, rave music and bad karaoke.
 
						 
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						After a couple recap-free cons, I'm back for another 
						season, now at a sexy new location for Daisho! Is 
						Wisconsin Dells ready for Daisho Con? The hotel security 
						sure as hell wasn't ready for our room parties.  
						
							- When there's no place to put posters, sometimes 
							you just have to make one.
 
							- A routine badge shift turns into simultaneous 
							cosplayer wrangling and band leading.
 
							- Green Apple cards do not reflect the personality 
							of their owners. Their owner's cosplay, however...
 
						 
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						Flying solo this time and focused less on con promotion 
						and more on helping out with a crazy Harry Potter room 
						party. It's a classic convention experience in a 
						convention unlike any I've ever attended. With cameo 
						appearance by Paul and Storm. 
						
							- Cosplaying Draco Malfoy means you don't have to 
							be nice to the room party patrons.
 
							- At one of the more family-friendly parties, 
							Harry and Draco swap wives. Ginny gets around.
 
							- Constant mechanical breakdowns lead me on an 
							unplanned trip to the Mall of America.
 
						 
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						With an enhanced table, half their video game room and a 
						ticket to the inter-con mixer at our disposal, we've 
						never been as integrated into Anime Central. That 
						doesn't mean that the con still isn't capable of chewing 
						you up and leaving you battered. 
						
							- A late night food run turns into an epic quest, 
							with nasty plot twists. White Castle is not 
							involved.
 
							- Japanese guest run-ins, including Flow and the 
							director/producer of Hetalia.
 
							- Despite our wounds, we still find time for a 
							side quest to say hello to Eric Vale.
 
						 
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						No Brand returns to the Plaza after six years to find a 
						new paint job on both the hotel and the convention 
						itself. I'm too busy running a table, a panel and a room 
						party to notice any of this, especially over the sound 
						of my awesome new hat. 
						
							- Digimon love as soon as we walk in the door, and 
							more at Saturday's panel.
 
							- The No Brand Bowl sets a new mark for manly.
 
							- Apples To Apples gives way to Munchkin, 
							resulting in much death and destruction.
 
						 
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						A return trip to the Twin Cities, and this time we mean 
						business! With a room party, a badging station and all 
						sorts of networking to do, it's amazing how I'm still 
						determined to check out everything Detour has to offer. 
						But can we get everything home? 
						
							- Adventures in coordinating volunteer hours even 
							after making a schedule for them.
 
							- Epic room party! With a video game room, 
							tabletop and guest Kyle Hebert!
 
							- Attempting to pack Sunday morning turns into 
							chaos of ACen proportions.
 
						 
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						With two recaps in consecutive weeks, we roll out a rare 
						double recap! First, we come to Anime Milwaukee to serve 
						and are assigned remarkably little volunteer work... 
						only to go above and beyond Saturday night. At the 
						first-ever Kitsune Kon, there's plenty to be done 
						wining, dining and driving around voice actors. 
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						One more romp for the year and it's the free-and-easy, 
						yet spirited Daisho Con! This time, the recap blends the 
						new with the old, as we get the same old Geek.Kon 
						pimping you've come to expect, only with lots more 
						classic bits about Nick F. and a totally retro video 
						game room. 
						
							- Time to blow both Clue and Harry Potter 
							completely out of the atmosphere.
 
							- For all the time spent running Name That 
							Opening, how well can I actually play it?
 
							- One day, Apples To Apples will be stale. Sadly, 
							it hasn't happened yet.
 
						 
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						It was bound to happen one year: I forgot my camera. 
						Luckily for you (and unluckily for me), KORfan stepped 
						in to take pictures to go with my stories of staffing 
						Geek.Kon.2010. Unfortunately, all of the pictures were 
						of me. There's a good con in here somewhere, I assure 
						you. 
						
							- It's not supposed to be a big deal, but an 
							entire page dedicated to Opening Ceremonies!
 
							- I do find time to cosplay Estonia. I did not 
							find time to crossplay as Lynn from UnCONventional.
 
							- Yet another voice actor gives me an 
							non-consensual autograph without my permission. On 
							purpose.
 
						 
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						No NTAO and no pre-reg may have been our fault, but 
						everything else is on them. A typically solid con has a 
						bit of an off year in some surprising ways... but at 
						least Chief from No Brand/Geek.Kon will fix one of their 
						usual flaws in dramatic fashion. 
						
							- For once, the Hetalia panel is good, but can't 
							save us from sweltering heat during the shoot.
 
							- Death Note finally proves itself useful in 
							lending itself well to a themed Mafia game.
 
							- Homer vs. Orchid, Evan vs. Dyslexia and Denmark 
							vs. Rainbow Brite!
 
						 
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						Back at the Hyatt with a pair of fresh meat for the ACen 
						gods, running Name That Anime Opening and cosplaying 
						Estonia becomes educational for me as well. Plus 
						Geek.Kon is pushing hard this year, with a program book 
						ad, table and room party. There's no time to rest at the 
						biggest party in the Midwest. 
						
							- Two giant Hetalia photoshoots and I'm still the 
							only Estonia. Knowing Russia, is that a good thing?
 
							- English Anime Lyrics love! Discussing the 
							dubbing process with Vic Mignogna.
 
							- Hunting for the elusive No-Face, as portrayed 
							perfectly by Chairman Bob.
 
						 
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						Back to No Brand for another run, with a new country to 
						cosplay and few plans or expectations. Things tend to 
						just build up on their own, especially with so many 
						friends, nations and fellow staffers to hang out with. 
						Same old, same old has never been as much fun. 
						
							- Geek.Kon isn't hosting a room party, but Richard 
							and I are. I think. Sort of.
 
							- MST co-creator Matt returns to No Brand! And he 
							goes Greek by the second day.
 
							- How to get good seats for the masquerade... the 
							hard way.
 
						 
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						Anime Milwaukee levels up to a full recap, although most 
						of it is spent volunteering and spreading Geek.Kon love. 
						Even so, it's an entertaining and educational convention 
						for all of us, with lessons on how to survive four 
						straight reg hours, three Mikes in your hotel room and 
						too many cute girls for sale.  
						
							- The best opening ceremonies ever, even if the 
							con is a third over when it happens.
 
							- Another testament in how not to organize a 
							masquerade.
 
							- We time travel to the future and discover rowdy 
							wedding guests. 
 
						 
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						Finally! I'm relaxing at a convention no matter what! No 
						work, no room parties and no worries. There is a panel 
						to run on Sunday morning, chess and dodgeball and Arena 
						Eyeshield to play, and a spider god to kill. But that 
						shouldn't be too distracting to my effort to unwind, 
						right? 
						
							- America returns for another romp... two days 
							even. Now with diplomatic relations to Hungary.
 
							- Strange how you see a new twist on stuff you 
							weren't great at in high school and want in.
 
							- Driving voice actors around? Nah, let's injure 
							and humiliate them!
 
						 
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						This year for Geek.Kon, we experience a convention from 
						a staff perspective. With a multitude of duties, several 
						shifts on the floor and another impromptu voice actor 
						road trip, it seems like it'll be work from sun-up to 
						sundown. But it's all so worth it when more than a 
						thousand people attend something you helped create. 
						
							- At long last, Sarah finally finds gets me into 
							cosplay. So why is Petsmart involved?
 
							- Run a DDR tournament, MC a Masquerade, judge an 
							AMV contest... all in a weekend's work.
 
							- You gotta fight for your right to screen awesome 
							fan parodies at a convention.
 
						 
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						When Jasmine and company retreat due to financial 
						reasons, Evan and Natalie from Geek.Kon join me and 
						Sarah at Anime Iowa. Thanks to them, the most relaxing 
						con of the year requires a ton of work, preparation and 
						running around on-site and off. Then there's this fish 
						that keeps staring at us... 
						
							- Rooming with three cosplayers, who have a 
							photoshoot that needs a photographer.
 
							- A dominating performance in Name That Anime 
							Opening creates animosity.
 
							- A conflict between room party needs and our own 
							nutrition demands a Hero.
 
						 
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						In one of the more surreal con experiences to date, we 
						celebrate a milestone with Tiffany Grant, Vinnk makes 
						his glorious return to No Brand, Geek.Kon throws a party 
						and we investigate a murder with the crew of the HMS 
						Badger. Oh, and there's a cat. 
						
							- How to get a load of goodies from the dealers 
							room... without buying anything.
 
							- Tiffany Grant convention #10 proves to be more 
							than I had bargained for.
 
							- How no moderator at the forum meetup leads to me 
							volunteering... and forming a band.
 
						 
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						In lieu of ACen, we head to a much-heralded and 
						much-maligned con. Good? Bad? Ugly? In this episode of 
						Mythbusters, we take a stab at Yell Con. Instead, we get 
						a madcap adventure where minions, Nadesico and Guilmon 
						are but subplots. 
						
							- Is it really a long line if you're sprinting to 
							keep up with it?
 
							- NTAO gets attacked from both sides by Greg Ayres 
							and Kyle Hebert.
 
							- An AMV Contest and a Dance that actually do 
							well? But I like my angry rants!
 
						 
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						Bigger than last year, more exciting than last year, and 
						a great convention to warm up with. Not that I wasn't 
						completely inactive- I actually took pictures this time. 
						But most of the time was spent catching up with people 
						and getting back in the groove before bigger cons later 
						this year. 
						
							- What's this about a secret expedition and why 
							does it involve the men's room?
 
							- Let's hang out with Reanna, Scott, and Mike! No, 
							the other one. Okay, fine- both of them.
 
							- A goofy panel for all of the singles in 
							convention land... where was this last year?
 
						 
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						A little clone of No Brand for the fall means the same 
						No Brand fun at half the cost! They have an equivalent 
						of No Brand Bucks for me to both win and give away, a 
						mascot, a storyline and even an equivalent of Hanzo that 
						I never go to. And now, it has a First Agent Room Party! 
						
							- Apparently, the hotel management isn't aware of 
							how awesome I am.
 
							- Tiffany Grant finds me so fast, she has to stop 
							and let me sign my badge.
 
							- Sometimes not dancing gets you closer to the 
							girl.
 
						 
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						More of the same from the free convention in downtown 
						Madison! The vendors room is now in four tiny 
						classrooms, the gaming room is across the street and the 
						fanfic panel is twice that size. When my usual group 
						bolts for State Street once again, there's more than 
						enough friends to pick up the slack.  
						
							- Tyler and Jasmine are formally introduced to 
							Portal and Dragon. It is a triumph.
 
							- No Brand inspirations all around, including a 
							cosplay of a beloved No Brand-verse character.
 
							- Time to see what Whitewater Nick has been 
							up to and get him in with the Eau Claire crowd.
 
						 
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						Rather than relaxing for a weekend, I bring NTAO to 
						Anime Iowa and revive their fanfic panel. In response, 
						bad luck with the schedule gives me more than I 
						bargained for. But it also gives me plenty of free time 
						Saturday to relax, enjoy the convention, and rant 
						against the con's only real flaw. 
						
							- Registration? Fixed. Dance? More than tolerable. 
							AMV Contest? Er, um... 
 
							- No Branders get their first taste of the Field 
							Guide to Convention Cosplayers.
 
							- Oh hell, let's do the masquerade again. Now with 
							balloon-oriented line management!
 
						 
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						When the Cubs are in town and I can spend some time with 
						my beloved grandparents, the actual convention after 
						that becomes a bit of a drag. Especially when I'm 
						hording a terrible cold and a headache that all the 
						RickRolls in the world can't cure. But oh that cosplay... 
						
							- Behind the scenes of Fast Food Anime and the 
							much-maligned ACen fanfic panel.
 
							- Why working for registration should require a 
							basic grasp of the alphabet.
 
							- For once, let's actually go to the masquerade. 
							That's the main draw of this place anyway.
 
						 
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						A band, a VA I haven't met eight times already, and an 
						attendance over 1000. Surely No Brand Con isn't heading 
						into the mainstream? Not quite, but it's another step 
						towards respectability. They even put Duct Tape Boy in a 
						tuxedo this year. 
						
							- In the absence the real thing, we present... 
							Inflata-Vinnk!
 
							- Not only do we play rooftop football, but we do 
							it in the rain. Take that, Clerks!
 
							- Scott returns, this year as the subject of a 
							tribute song.... Cthulhu Fhtagn.
 
						 
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						An hour's drive for a one day quickie. No hotel room, no 
						advanced preparation, and only $15 at the door. The 
						quiet con that nobody in the area had heard of (and 
						which according to organizers was actually in its second 
						year) turned out to be a nice little respite from the 
						norm.  
						
							- It may be small, but I still blew $75 in the 
							vendor's room. Because they're ninjas!
 
							- Warming up for Name That Opening by watching a 
							game... participating when necessary.
 
							- Oh my... hentai!
 
						 
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						The need to get away from the cold, snowy weather in 
						Wisconsin leads me to join the Green Bay group across 
						the Midwest to Ohio for the year's inaugural con. All 
						the best and worst aspects of ACen and Iowa merge to 
						form an experience that just might have been worth the 
						drive. 
						
							- Nope, Indiana is still no more fun to drive 
							through... especially in oncoming traffic.
 
							- If you thought the Tiffany Grant run-ins have 
							been stale lately... we got you covered.
 
							- Is it possible to have too much Digimon at a 
							convention?
 
						 
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						Good timing, good planning and good local support gave 
						an upstart UW-Madison convention incredible momentum. 
						Would Geek.kon take off and fly into lore or crash and 
						drown in its rookie mistakes? Surprisingly, this was all 
						the drama we needed.  
						
							- Commuting from an hour away and still rooming 
							with friends. 209! 209!
 
							- Back to the basics- DDR contests, fanfic panels 
							and not dancing.
 
							- It's a Dalek! A bloody Dalek! 
 
						 
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						Now present for the full weekend, we set the corn jokes 
						aside to spend some quality time at a quality hotel at 
						what could possibly pass for a quality convention. 
						Naturally, something's going to go wrong, but at least 
						we got it over with early so we could leave on a high 
						note. 
						
							- Hey look, Iowa's got a disgustingly long 
							registration line too! How cute!
 
							- Digimon trumps all takers in its most favorable 
							arena- a karaoke contest.
 
							- Short Bus Cosplay? Old hat already. I give to 
							you- Fusion Cosplay!
 
						 
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						Sporting a YouTube account and a camera that actually 
						could handle video (seriously, I tried at No Brand; it's 
						what led to Sunday's camera crisis), Star Otaku offers 
						up her own recap of the events at this year's Anime 
						Central. New events! New pictures! Same old bitching 
						about the management. 
						
							- Star and 4chan's /b/tards invade cosplay photo 
							shoots and scare little children.
 
							- The only question you ever really need to ask at 
							a dating sim panel.
 
							- Hey! This one's got cosplay pictures! What a 
							concept!
 
						 
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						The annual bull in a china shop (or Asian 
						marketplace, as the case may be) is back again. This 
						time, Chromus finally pops across the pond (or makes the 
						month-long swim if you trust Google Maps) to partake in 
						LineCon. But it's more than just that... thank God or 
						we'd never have anything fun to say about it.  
						
							- I'll see your weird Tiffany Grant run-in and 
							raise you Kari Wahlgren and Chris Patton!
 
							- At long last, the English Anime Lyrics Archive 
							gets a field test before a live audience.
 
							- Ghetto Cosplay? Let Natsuhiko Taki introduce you 
							to Short Bus Cosplay. A-ha-ha!
 
						 
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						A new year brings a new convention season and there's 
						no better way to enjoy the year than by helping produce 
						the fun instead of simply drowning in it. Back in the 
						Ramada for a second-straight year, No Brand Con again 
						topped its record attendance, while still easily 
						maintaining its small-town charm.  
						
							- An Eyeshield 21-themed room party, including a 
							Friday afternoon tailgater.
 
							- The hottest cosplay picture in the history of 
							the world. Period.
 
							- Teasers galore, including a sneak-peek at 
							Magical Security Taskforce.
 
						 
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						What started as an excuse to hang with friends and 
						avoid trekking to Otakon turned into... an excuse to 
						hang with friends and avoid trekking to Otakon. Anyone 
						have a problem with that? Didn't think so, because while 
						the con itself had a few structural flaws, any excuse to 
						indulge for a weekend is a good one.  
						
							- More corn than you can shake a yaoi paddle at.
 
							- Finally, I steps up to the microphone for some 
							karaoke. Yeah, I can do Japanese lyrics too.
 
							- It may be Iowa, but there's no escaping the 
							grasp of Eyeshield 21. YA HA!!
 
						 
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						After last year's mediocre ACen entry, this year was 
						highlighted by three online pals coming in from as far 
						away as Edmonton. Not only that, but I'm rooming with 
						both my No Brand friends *and* my Whitewater friends who 
						still don't quite see the appeal of small conventions. 
						In Chicago, worlds collide.  
						
							- Anime Improv, Anime Hell, AMV Hell, and the 
							world is finally saved by S.T.E.A.M.
 
							- Some serious No Brand Pimping at Otaku no Yen 
							Live Action: Kouga + Nurse Joy OTP!
 
							- The good, the bad, and the ugly of Anime Music 
							Videos- lens flare nipples fits all three.
 
						 
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						Armed with a day off work and some fancy equipment, I 
						head up to Eau Claire with the full intention of 
						partying hard with all my No Brand forum buddies. In a 
						new location downtown, the successes were many, the 
						failures were hilarious, and with an increasingly 
						respectable size, we got a little of everything. 
						
							- A new car, a new job, and eight missions, 
							including the impossible task of avoiding Tiff.
 
							- Dear God, can I actually get to round 2 of a 
							competitive DDR tournament? 
 
							- Hunting for Digimon fans on Sunday morning... 
							and getting a blast of Taito in response.
 
						 
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						Despite no job, no money, and no real reason to go 
						(what with anticipated guest Chiaki Konaka calling in 
						sick three days prior), I went anyway to help my Green 
						Bay friends with their first convention. Determined to 
						avoid as many lines as possible in a convention known 
						for them, this was quite a ride.  
						
							- A midnight escape from Wisconsin, only to spend 
							two hours hunting for a hiding hotel.
 
							- Eau Claire friends, Whitewater friends, voice 
							actor friends not named Tiffany- we got it all!  
 
							- Who needs a convention? Ace is the place for 
							your crazy cosplay needs.
 
						 
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						By now, little No Brand Con in Eau Claire had grown 
						to a respectable 400. Not big by any means, but with a 
						cozy size, a forum full of friends, and an official 
						convention storyline, the best con is in Wiscon... sin. 
						
							- No lines! No lines! No lines! Well... maybe one.
 
							- The first public screening of my music video, 
							and karaoke performances of EALA music.
 
							- Men in kilts, boys in duct tape, and ninjas in 
							the garden.
 
						 
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						After missing No Brand due to work and ACen due to 
						graduation, Otakon seemed like a great way to celebrate 
						the start of my new job, and with six of my friends and 
						a detour through New York, it would be even better! 
						Famous last words before a crazy return trip to the 
						Atlantic. 
						
							- A bunch of Wisconsin hicks driving aimlessly 
							around New York... including Harlem.
 
							- Harassing, injuring, and messing with the heads 
							of anyone with a "Hug Me" sign.
 
							- Tiffany Grant's not there? Guess we have to 
							settle for Luci Christian and a bunch of fanfic 
							references.
 
						 
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						We leave the comfort of the Midwest and head to the 
						east coast in a stick-shift. It's one of the largest 
						conventions in the country, yet I'm still stuck on how 
						close it is to Camden Yards. 
						
							- Crusher Joe... and our ability to recite fan 
							parodies word-for-word.
 
							- Rica Matsumoto and her a cappella Pokémon tunes. 
							GET da ze!
 
							- Yep, Tiffany Grant again. And this time, she 
							wasn't even on the guest list!!
 
						 
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						The return trip to ACen happened two days after 
						finals, with several friends, and in nearby Chicago. 
						Needless to say, it was a blast. ACen '03 also spawned 
						the first official recap. Inside: 
						
							- If you need to take separate cars, do not under 
							any circumstances take separate routes!!
 
							- Chiyonochichi sightings all over the place. 
							Before it was licensed!
 
							- Meeting up with a friend from the mailing 
							list... and Tiff... again.
 
						 
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						My very first convention, and my very first 
						convention report. Not very good and not very 
						informative, and therefore not very listed here. Not 
						that I didn't live it up. Among the highlights- 
						
							- The first of several bizarre run-ins with voice 
							actress Tiffany Grant.  
 
							- Meeting Ken Akamatsu, creator of Love Hina.
 
							- An all-night binge of Serial Experiments Lain- 
							13 eps from 1:00 to 6:30. Subbed.
 
						 
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