Tai Kamiya Presents "Gatekeepers"
Episode Ten- The Kook of the North!
(An AEGIS cargo plane is flying in the night sky. Just minding its own business. Out of nowhere, a pack of Invaders attack. They appear as demons, seeming to consist of black energy. They rip into the plane and the cockpit, and bring it down. Tai’s watching all of this on a monitor, when Ryo Akiyama comes up to him.)
Ryo: Watching the real series?
Tai: Sort of… I’m borrowing this for our production. Instead of recreating this scene, I’m just going to cut and paste it into our version! None of our guys are in this scene anyway, so nobody will know the difference!
Ryo: I see. You know I don’t mind that you wanted me to be in this… but why do we need Cyberdramon here?
(Tai and Ryo look over and see Cyberdramon, sitting quietly, ready to strike anything that moves.)
Tai: Well, it’s quite simple. You see- your character Yukino has a pet ermine named Hisame. I think that accuracy is very important, so you need a pet as well.
Ryo: You honestly think Cyberdramon passes as an ermine??
Tai: That’s just it… I have no idea what an ermine is!! So I’m going to feign ignorance and use Cyberdramon, okay?
Ryo: Well… what do the others think?
Tai: That’s the best part! Only TK and Kari are in this episode! So I gave everybody else the day off! They loved it! Not only do they get a break, but it reduces the chance of them getting maimed by Cyberdramon!
Ryo: What about TK and Kari?
Tai: I’ve got that covered!
(TK and Kari walk up to them.)
TK: Hey guys, where’s everybody else?
Tai: This episode is all you two. Everybody gets the day off.
TK: Well, we are the focus of the show.
Kari: Everybody else was in the background anyway.
Tai: Yeah, and now you get to sit quietly and let Ryo here steal the show. And with that in mind...
(Tai hands TK and Kari clipboards with a sheet of paper and a pen on each.)
Tai: Could you sign those?
(TK and Kari do so and return them.)
Kari: What are they for?
Tai: Simple. They indicate that neither me nor Ryo assume any responsibility in the off-chance that Cyberdramon decides to rip your head off. Which according to him is a very real possibility.
Ryo: It’s a pleasure working with both of you!
(TK and Kari gulp.)
Episode Twelve- Fly to the Northern Land!
(A pleasant hillside by the mountains. It’s a stunning view, with flowers everywhere. TK and Kari are both wearing jackets. TK is visibly impressed by the scenery while Kari remains reserved.)
TK: Wow, this- this is beautiful. I didn’t know there were places like this left in the world.
Kari: Even so, remember that we are here on business. A cargo plane crashed in this area. It had some very important stuff on it and we need to find it.
(TK is still admiring the view. Kari smiles.)
Kari: But man this is some view. It would be nice to stay here a while.
TK: Race you to that hill over there!
(TK starts running towards a hill. Kari runs after him, smiling a little bit. But she loses the smile fast.)
(TK looks back, still running.)
(TK trips over the hill and slides down a short ways, landing on a patch of flowers. Kari stands on the hill.)
Kari: Hey! Don’t step on the flowers!
(Kari controls her slide down and helps TK up.)
TK: Thanks. You sure we can’t have fun here?
Kari: Nah. If we have too much fun we can’t write this trip off as a business expense.
TK: Oh… why’d they send us then? If it’s just a routine mission like locating a cargo plane, why couldn’t they just send Davis?
(This is as good a time as any for the Invaders to attack. They rise up out of the ground and open fire. TK and Kari run for it, and the Invaders give chase.)
TK: Hold on a second… we have powers too, don’t we?
Kari: Oh yeah…
(TK pulls out his stick while Kari pulls out her bow.)
Kari: Hey! Don’t step on the flowers! Arrow of Light!
TK: Yeah… and don’t step on any cute animals while you’re at it… VACUUM MISSILE!!
(TK’s missile is on target… but a little butterfly gets in the way. The shot hits the butterfly, causing a tremendous explosion, but doing zero damage to the Invaders. The butterfly, however, is thoroughly char-broiled.)
TK: Oh… that’s great… now I look like the bad guy.
Kari: Just try again… Arrow of… the hell?
TK: Arrow of the hell? Is that a new attack?
Kari: No… the hell as in who the hell is that??
(Ryo is standing in between the Invaders and the Gatekeepers. He looks pretty uncaring and stares at the Invaders.)
Ryo: Hey… don’t step on the flowers…
(Ryo holds up a hand. It starts to glow. He holds it towards the Invaders. The Invaders charge after Ryo, attacking.)
TK: Look out!
(Their shots are absorbed and reversed by Ryo’s gate. In one giant blast, the Invaders are frozen solid and a couple inches of snow now completely covers the ground. The Invader-sicles shatter, ending the threat. TK and Kari run up to Ryo.)
TK: Who are you?
Kari: Where’d you come from?
Ryo: (mystically) Where’d I come from? Where did any of us come from? Where did the ground, the sky, or the stars come from? Where did…?
TK: Hey, you didn’t answer my question!!
Kari: You didn’t really answer mine… did you?
Ryo: Are you going to answer my questions?
TK: So… who are you?
Ryo: I… I am me.
Kari: Where’d all this snow come from?
Ryo: Where did all this life come from? Where did…
TK: Great, now we’re going backwards…
Ryo: But were we going forwards before? How do you know?
TK: You’re giving me a headache…
Ryo: What is a headache? Really?
TK/Kari: STOP THAT!!
Kari: Look, one thing’s for sure- you are a Gatekeeper.
Ryo: What is a Gatekeeper?
TK: Kinda like a digi-destined… with a 401k package.
Ryo: What’s a digi-destined?
TK: Is this all you’re going to do all day?
Ryo: I’m waxing philosophical. Challenging the way you think. That’s my thing.
TK: Well, if that’s all you’re going to do then…
(Cyberdramon runs onto the scene, and nudges himself up next to Ryo.)
TK: Wh… what’s that?
Ryo: This is Cyberdramon. My pet ermine.
TK: That’s not an ermine!
Ryo: What is an ermine?
TK: I… are you waxing philosophical again?
Ryo: (smiling) No… I just want to see if you know.
TK: Well it’s not that thing!
(Cyberdramon tilts his head, and shoots TK a menacing look.)
Ryo: Cyberdramon doesn’t like it when you accuse him of false identity.
TK: Okay… it’s an ermine. Kari… can we go?
Kari: No… we found a Gatekeeper. We are obligated to report him. It’s a good thing that Izzy finally got his butt in gear and got us our wrist communicators.
(Kari turns to her watch and hits some buttons on it.)
Kari: Commander? Commander?
Watch: System malfunction.
Kari: Aw, dammit Izzy.
Watch: System crash in three… two… one…
TK: What happens during a system crash?
(The watch gives off a massive, unbelievable explosion, blasting Kari into the next time zone and creating a large cloud of smoke.)
(TK finds himself in a large chamber, surrounded by ice.)
TK: What the? Where am I? What happened?
(TK looks around.)
TK: Where’s Kari? Where’s question boy and the ermine? Why am I asking all the questions now?!
(TK puts a hand to the ice.)
TK: Strange… it’s not cold.
Ryo: Things are only cold when you want them to be. Everything is relative.
(Ryo begins vanishing and reappearing at various locations.)
Ryo: Something hot to you is cold to me. Something cold to me is hot to you.
TK: But that doesn’t explain why…
Ryo: Everything is cold to me.
TK: Where are we?
Ryo: We are outside.
TK: No… now we’re inside. That place with the happy butterflies… that was outside.
Ryo: It was only outside because people confine themselves so tightly. We are truly outside. Outside the flow.
TK: Outside the flow… I take it this is your home?
Ryo: I have no home. I am merely more welcome here than anywhere else.
(TK looks around at the frozen atmosphere.)
TK: Maybe if you ditched the blood-thirsty ermine you’d get invited to more parties.
Ryo: What’s the point in a party? What’s the point in interaction? In the end, we all die. So why do we live?
TK: Um… hi! My name’s TK! What’s your name?
Ryo: What is a name? Is it any different than a number? A meaningless association that leaves along with your spirit?
TK: Um… yeah! Do you have one or not?
(Kari is face down in the snow. She slowly picks herself up. She don’t look too good.)
Kari: Must… kill… Izzy…
(Kari looks around.)
Kari: TK? TK? Man… what time is it?
(Kari starts to look at her watch.)
Watch: Timer activated. Five… four… three…
(Kari frantically takes the watch off and throws it in the air. It gives off another most righteous explosion. Kari has to turn away and cover her ears, but gets through it okay.)
Kari: Must… kill… Izzy…
(Back in the ice rink, TK is with Ryo.)
TK: So I take it you aren’t much of a people person.
Ryo: When a person focuses on people, they lose track of the person. They become people. And the person is absorbed by the people. And the person suffocates. Such is the cage that is… people.
TK: It’s not a cage, it’s…
Ryo: A cage. A cage of people. I choose to be free from the cage. What point are wings when you are trapped in a cage?
TK: Uh… oh! I got it!!
(Ryo looks sullenly at TK.)
TK: If a tree falls in the middle of the woods and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?
Ryo: Of course.
TK: Yeah, but…
Ryo: Sound waves have a distinct physical presence. What if the sound travels to a nearby mountain range and causes an avalanche? Nobody heard it, but the sound sure raised some hell.
(TK thinks for a second.)
TK: Wow… I never thought of it that way.
Ryo: Those sayings are old school. I’m hip with "Mysticism 2K2."
(Cyberdramon run in. TK screams while Cyberdramon stares menacingly at TK.)
Ryo: It’s okay. He likes you.
TK: Is that likes me as in wants to be my friend or likes me as in cook at 400 degrees, add seasoning?
Ryo: What do I look like, a translator?
(Cyberdramon jumps forward and starts sniffing TK very closely. TK’s in a full-blown nervous panic, but tries not to move. Meanwhile, Kari goes up to Tai.)
Kari: Okay, don’t you think this is a little bit dangerous? I mean…
(Tai starts to snore.)
Kari: Hey! Tai!
Tai: Huh, huh… what?
Kari: Were you sleeping??!!
Tai: Yeah… all those proverbs. Felt like I was back in Literature class.
Kari: What are you going to do about Cyberdramon?
Tai: Oh come on… he’s harmless… and I’m not liable if anything happens to TK. That’s what the forms were for!
(Cyberdramon continues to sniff TK. Ryo uses his D-Power as a whip and starts to literally tame Cyberdramon.)
Tai: Whoa cool. (to Ryo) Hey! How’d you get your digivice to do that whipping thing?
(Ryo looks over at Tai… and ignores Cyberdramon, who chases a screaming TK off screen.)
Ryo: Oh, uh… I got a buddy up in the Bronx, he hooked me up with some supplies. Don’t tell anybody though… I don’t know if you need a license for one of these or not.
(It seems that Cyberdramon has been tamed, and is standing quietly next to Ryo. TK walks back in.)
TK: Is it safe?
Ryo: Yeah. I got him under control. Ermines are pretty easy to keep as pets. They’re calm.
TK: Uh huh. Look, what do you do in here all day?
Ryo: I wait. Wait for eternity. Wait for the life cycle to return to its original location. Or wait for it all to cease.
TK: Sounds kinda boring…
Ryo: Sometimes. When I get bored I watch curling.
TK: You definitely need help. So how did you end up outside with me and Kari… oh man! Kari! Where’s she?
Ryo: In a meaningless void where…
TK: No, seriously, that watch must have blasted her halfway to Beijing! I’ve got to get out of here and find her!
(TK knocks on the ice wall.)
TK: There’s got to be a weak spot. GATE OPEN!
(TK pounds the ice. Nothing happens.)
TK: Okay… fine… maybe there isn’t one.
(Kari is lying against a hill. She appears to be cold.)
Kari: There has to be something I can do. I’m stuck in a snowstorm in the middle of the summer.
(Kari sees a butterfly struggling in the snow. Kari gets an idea.)
Kari: Wait a minute… I have that healing power thing. I haven’t used that in awhile. That just might work here…
(Kari holds up a finger.)
Kari: LIGHT OF LIFE!!
(A light is generated from her finger. A beam of light is reflected off the sun, onto the butterfly. Snow starts to melt around it.)
Kari: Wow… it’s working!
(The butterfly starts giving off smoke.)
(Kari moves the light. It continues to melt the snow, increasing in power until the entire mountainside is back to its pleasant grassland state.)
(Meanwhile, at the ice palace, Ryo and TK are watching, you guessed it, curling. Ryo seems to be quietly enthralled with it. TK seems to be quietly falling asleep.)
TK: How… how can you watch this? It’s… curling.
Ryo: It’s a metaphor.
Ryo: (in a trance) It’s a metaphor. People are bound… bound by the imaginary. The painted lines that they call the house. It isn’t real. Yet they sweep all day… sweep to position their stones. Sweep to take out the stones of their adversaries. All in one giant… futile effort to be shot rock. That’s all life is. One big bonspiel.
TK: Uh… neat.
(The place starts to shake suddenly. TK stands up.)
TK: What’s going on?
(TK looks at Ryo, still watching the television.)
TK: Never mind… maybe my powers work now.
(TK pulls out his kendo stick and aims at a portion of the ice wall.)
TK: Gate open!
(TK again swings. This time, he succeeds in melting a portion of the wall, which spreads around completely, so that it takes out all of the ice. TK is left in nothingness.)
TK: Maybe this was a bad idea…
(The scenery returns… he’s back on the now-green mountain.)
TK: Hey. I’m back. Kari? Kari??
(TK looks around, and sees an exhausted Kari resting against a large rock. He smiles, bends down, and taps her on the shoulder. She wakes up, sees TK, and smiles.)
Kari: What happened?
TK: I… have no clue.
(Kari gets up and looks around.)
Kari: We still have to find that plane.
(Ryo is seated on the rock pointing. He has a grim face.)
Ryo: It’s over there.
TK: Oh, um… sorry about destroying that "outside the flow" place. You seemed to like it there.
Ryo: It’s not a problem. Everything gets destroyed eventually. I’ll be fine.
TK: Good. I was worried that…
Ryo: Cyberdramon, on the other hand, kinda liked that place. He’ll be pissed off.
TK: So you’re saying we might want to get out of here?
TK: Thanks. Um… uh…
Ryo: Ryo. Ryo Akiyama.
(TK smiles, and he and Kari run a few yards. They can see the cargo plane. Both smile, and look back.)
TK: Thank you Ryo!!
(Ryo has vanished.)
Kari: And that’s the end of that… I guess.
TK: I have this feeling we’ll be seeing him again.
Kari: I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Oh well, let’s get this plane out of here.
TK: Right… I’ll contact Joe.
(While TK reaches for his watch, Ryo watches from afar.)
Ryo: What were they called again… Gate… keepers?
(The watch explodes in TK and Kari’s faces.)
Tai: (OS) Cut!!
(Tai walks in with a fire extinguisher and quickly subdues the remnants of the explosion. TK and Kari, however, are left wearing the remnants of the fire extinguisher.)
TK: I hope we never have to do that episode again.
Kari: No kidding. Getting blasted, killing butterflies…
TK: Listening to proverbs, watching curling…
Kari: Let’s just get out of here.
Tai: Actually… there’s a little problem with that.
Tai: Leaving. That doesn’t quite work for us right now.
TK/Kari: Why not?
Tai: Well… you know how we’re supposed to have thirty-minute episodes?
Tai: We have twenty. If we don’t do something for the other ten we’ll get replaced with an infomercial for one of those machines that shape your abs.
Kari: So what are you going to do?
Tai: Simple… start the next episode.
(TK and Kari both fall over, visibly exhausted.)
Tai: Hey, don’t worry, take five minutes and relax, I’m not a slave driver here. Besides, it’ll take that long for everybody else to get here.
TK: Wait… what about Ryo and Cyber…
(Tai turns to the side.)
Tai: See ya in a couple eps Ryo!
(Ryo and Cyberdramon are walking out.)
Ryo: Yep! Cyberdramon wants to visit the park. Bye!
(They leave. Tai turns to TK.)
Tai: You were saying?
TK: Well… I got out of it in one piece.
Tai: Yeah… like you said, he’ll be back.
TK: Lucky me…
Episode Thirteen- Bring Down Two of the Powerful Brass! (Part One)
(In the AEGIS hangar, Joe is supervising unloading the retrieved cargo plane.)
Joe: How does it look?
(Izzy exits the plane and smiles. He has two black eyes and his left arm is in a sling.)
Izzy: Prodigious Commander. Everything is in perfect working order. We can begin assembly immediately.
Joe: Excellent work Izzy.
(Joe pats Izzy on the back. Izzy immediately falls down, in pain.)
Joe: Man… you got your ass kicked. Remind me never to make Kari mad.
(TK is in the car and enjoying a leisurely stroll down the highway… at ninety miles per hour.)
TK: Well… it is nice to get out of those mountains and back into reality. If this is inside, I have no reason to leave!
(A car pulls up behind him and starts tailgating. TK looks back. Upon closer inspection, it's an old-fashioned Lotus auto, its driver obscured by the helmet and goggles he’s wearing.)
TK: Whoa. Old school. How is that thing keeping up with me?
(The Lotus flashes its headlights.)
TK: Oh… you want a race? Let’s rock
(TK speeds up, with the Lotus right behind him. It stays that way, as TK really pours on the gas.)
TK: Okay, this is getting a bit strange. That car belongs in a retirement garage!
(A heavy curve up ahead. TK loses control of the inside for just a second, allowing the Lotus to sneak ahead.)
TK: Shoot… enjoy it while you can. This race is just getting started!
(A cop is behind TK, signaling for him to pull over.)
TK: Or not…
(The cop approaches TK.)
Cop: License please. Do you have any idea what the speed limit is?
(TK flashes his Earth Defense License.)
TK: Do you have any idea what this license means regarding me and speed limits?
(The cop salutes.)
Cop: Sorry sir!
(The cop turns away, to see another Earth Defense License in his face. He looks at who it belongs to… the helmet is off and the goggles are lifted to show Michael. He attempts to speak with something that resembles a British accent.)
Michael: If you are quite finished, can you let us continue becoming acquainted?
(The cop nods and runs off. TK’s merely in awe.)
TK: Another Gatekeeper?
(Haneda Airport. The International Arrivals terminal. As usual, security is tight for getting into the country. Somebody is being checked out with a wand while several others are filling out papers. An officer addresses the line.)
Officer: This is standard security procedure. We need to make sure you aren’t possessing any explosives or dangerous items that you could sneak into the country. We have very tight security, so if you have any bombs or such, just leave them on the plane!
(Jun Motomiya calmly skips past the officer. She seems cheery. The officer stops her.)
Officer: Ma’am, could you please stop for inspection?
Jun: Oh… I know what you’re thinking. You’re going to pretend that I’m really, really, suspicious and you’re going to give me one of those full cavity searches.
Officer: You are really, really suspicious.
Jun: My you’re forward! Well… you know I’d love to stay and be violated by you but I’ve got places to go, people to see…
(Jun holds out her own Earth Defense License.)
Jun: …Invaders to kill.
Officer: You mean… you’re a…
Jun: That’s right! Isn’t it strange the way life works? Well, see ya!
(Jun continues to skip away, to some stunned airline personnel.)
(Meanwhile, French cutie Catherine is lugging her bags down the streets of the city. A cop walks up to her.)
Cop: Um… do you need help or something? Where are you going?
(Catherine looks unsure about herself, then turns around and slaps the cop across the face.)
Cop: Hey! what was that for?
(Catherine is still nervous.)
Catherine: Uh, well…
(Catherine shows her Earth Defense License. The cop salutes.)
Cop: Madam! I apologize! I’ll leave you now!
(Catherine smiles, nods, then turns away.)
Catherine: Blind obedience, gotta love it!
(At headquarters, the regular group is being introduced to Michael, Jun, and Catherine. Michael still has his British accent.)
Michael: My name is Michael. As you can tell by my accent, I am from Great Britain!
Joe: Yes… but your accent sounds English…
TK: Is that what it’s supposed to be?
Joe: Yeah… this file says you’re from Scotland.
(Michael returns to his normal voice.)
Michael: C’mon Joe, give me a break…
Cody: Yeah, his British accent is bad enough… I don’t want to hear his Scottish one.
(Jun steps forward. Davis is grumbling.)
Jun: Hello, I’m Jun! And I am a Gatekeeper from the United States of America! How sweet is that? And they sent me to LA to get into my character and everything!
(TK turns to Davis.)
TK: Why would Tai send Jun to America for a piddly role like this?
Davis: It was my idea. Got her out of my hair for a few weeks.
(Catherine steps forward.)
Catherine: My name’s Catherine. I’m German.
Sora: Funny… you don’t sound German.
Catherine: Yes, given Michael’s failure, I’m not even going to try to fake an accent.
Yolei: You sound French.
Catherine: Hm… yes. I’m actually French! My, uh, Dad moved from France to Germany for his work some time ago. And uh… that’s where I was spotted as a Gatekeeper. So I’m technically the German Gatekeeper!
Michael: Man, why didn’t I think of that?
Jun: Because we already have an American… me!
Michael: Oh… right.
Jun: I know what you’re thinking. You British types are all the same! You think us Americans are all loud, arrogant brats.
Michael: Wait a minute…
Catherine: That’s how it works in France… er… Germany. Well, both probably.
Michael: Hey! I’m not…
Jun: Don’t pretend to defend us Michael, we all know Brits think the exact same thing.
Michael: But I’m not really… uh… stick up for your country Jun!
Jun: Actually, they do bring up some interesting points…
(Michael slaps his forehead.)
TK: Uh… Commander? What are they doing here?
Cody: Yeah, if we wanted an international slapstick comedy, that’s what the Olympics were for.
Michael: We are here to see your progress thus far in the battle against the Invaders.
Jun: We’re also going to completely upstage you on your home turf.
Catherine: You did it to us last time, remember?
(Brief clip show as Michael, Jun, and Catherine watch the battle record. The Japanese Gatekeepers stand by and watch them watch. The silhouettes of the three foreigners appear as the film of TK battling the Giant Ball begins.)
Michael: Unbelievable. You shouldn’t let your emotions flare like that.
Catherine: One of these attacked France a couple years ago. They beat it with no trouble at all.
Jun: You guys certainly make this interesting.
Davis: (OS) Yeah, well wait until you get to see my moves!
TK: (OS) Davis… you don’t have any moves.
Davis: (OS) Oh yeah.
(Eventually, clips of Yolei’s battle against the train, Cody’s battle against the plane, as well as various shots of Rika, Kari, and Sora are included. The three have nothing positive to say about the actual Gatekeepers. The footage concludes.)
Michael: Well… there was one good thing about that entire mess.
(Jun starts laughing.)
Catherine: Actually, we are talking about the Gate Engine.
Michael: We thank you for playing around with it. Giving her a test drive.
Jun: And now that we’ve seen what it can do, we’re ready to use it for real and take down the bad guys.
Kari: What do you mean we’re taking down the bad guys?
Michael: Do I have to explain everything? Look, we’re going to launch an attack on Machinedramon and Devimon as soon as possible.
Jun: There’s also that third head… only known as Shadow.
Catherine: I think taking out Machinedramon and Devimon will be enough of a headache…
Michael: Also… when I said "we" I meant myself, Jun, and Catherine.
Jun: Yes… y’all be here for backup. Did you hear that, I said "y’all!" I told you I was an American!
Michael: Let’s check in with Izzy and see how our engines are doing…
(Michael, Jun, and Catherine walk away, leaving a bunch of very irate Gatekeepers.)
Yolei: Joe… next time we use Canadians.
End Episode Ten
Okay… first off we have several new characters to introduce… not counting Cyberdramon as the ermine.
Yukino Houjou- Ryo Akiyama
Jim Skylark- Michael
Jun Sanders- Jun Motomiya
Misao Sakimori- Catherine
Yukino has even more complex proverbs in the original, but it’s really hard to get Ryo to spout stuff like that. The characters in the series are a happy medium between their Digimon personas and the Gatekeepers characters, so I had to work to find an in-between for Ryo.
Doesn’t Ryo’s explanation to the "tree falling in middle of woods" thing make sense? That explanation is my own creation, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s been published elsewhere.
To be honest, I really got into curling during the last Olympics. It’s just so… fascinating. At least in terms of Ryo’s little metaphor statement (which is also mine, thank you very much!).
In truth, the German Gatekeeper is Japanese instead of German, so Catherine’s excuse about why she’s not really German holds up in the original. Although Tai’s working on making her more German. You’ll see what I mean next time…
Next Episode- Fun With the Foreigners!
Now that Michael, Jun, and Catherine are in town, things get a little bit different. Their expertise is one thing, but are they truly capable of defeating Machinedramon and Devimon? Is Davis going to get completely overshadowed by his sister? Is TK going to make another move on the French… er German girl?