Animation Survivor: The Reunion Special

(Shot of a rather mediocre-looking college fieldhouse, with "Williams Center" gaudily labeled on it. A couple of ground-based spotlights shine on it. Barb is heard announcing.)
Barb: (VO) From the fabulous… uh, what’s the name of it? Right… the fabulous Williams Athletic Complex in the heart of the University of Wisconsin… Whitewater campus, it’s the Animation Survivor reunion special!

[Shot of Tom and Barb, inside the venue. It’s just a basketball gym, only slightly bigger than a high school’s. However, it has been arranged appropriately for the occasion, with a screen, cutting off parts of the floor that aren’t needed. The seats are starting to fill up. On the floor, are six tables on platforms, each equipped with microphones and chairs. All in all, it doesn’t look too bad considering it’s in a little gymnasium. Tom and Barb are behind the screen (or backstage), dressed pretty formally. Barb has a microphone.]

Tom: Couldn’t we get someplace better to have this thing?

Barb: Sorry, but…

(Barb realizes that the mike is still on. She covers it with her palm.)

Barb: You wanted the author to show up and he said he couldn’t afford plane tickets to HQ. We had to do it on his college campus.

Tom: Fine, but couldn’t we have used an auditorium?

Barb: Nope. They have a production of "Man of La Mancha" tonight.

Tom: Right. Figures that that would get top priority. But I’m also worried about doing this here, simply because we don’t want a bunch of cartoon characters having a conference on the campus. It would kind of spoil our little secret.

Barb: No problem. We have a select list of who sees this and who doesn’t. If you aren’t on the list, you don’t get through the doors.

(Shot of such doors, where Manny is standing with a list. He shakes his head.)

Manny: Sorry. You aren’t on the list.

(Pan around to show that he’s talking to Davis, from Digimon.)

Davis: What?! Come on! My friends are all in there!

Manny: Tough luck, kid.

[Kari and TK show up (02 age remember), and nod to Manny as he lets them in.]

TK: Hi Davis.

Kari: Hi Davis.

Davis: What the? How come they get in?

Manny: We restricted it to immediate friends and family. Each contestant was only allowed a certain number of guests.

(Yolei and Cody show up, and nod to Manny as he lets them in.)

Yolei: Hi Davis!

Cody: Hi Davis.

Davis: What’s going on here!?

(Davis calls to the other four inside)

Davis: Could you guys help me out? Kari? Yolei? Cody? TV? Anybody?!

(Back to Barb and Tom backstage, but they now have a guest with them. The author, Adam Pulver, is with them, wearing a collared shirt, with tie, and sweater over it.)

Tom: But anyway, these specifications were probably worth it, since we have the author himself, Adam Pulver, present for these festivities. Adam? How do you feel about the success of Animation Survivor? Did it turn out quite like you think it did?

Adam: First off, Tom, I’d like to say that I’m not a big fan of author insertion fics. They can be done well some times, as in the Anime Survivor, but often times they just turn into the author feeding his own ego. Don’t ask why I agreed to do this, but believe me, I have fired my publicist.

Barb: You have a publicist?

Adam: No! I don’t! See look, I’m already out of character! And look at this outfit, I don’t wear ties. This is the worst fanfic I’ve ever seen!

Tom: Right… just answer the question.

Adam: All right. I’m really happy with the way this turned out. Although I have to admit that this wasn’t really a big priority when I started it. It was mostly something to do to take a break off of "EarthBound." But now, considering the response it’s gotten, I think it turned out very well. Also, it was the first major project that I’ve successfully completed and released, so I’ll always remember it. I definitely had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope to maybe do a little more with it later.

Tom: Thanks Adam, it’s been a blast.

Adam: You’re probably just saying that because the whole "Keys of Tanur" thing fell through and you’re grateful I used you again.

Tom: Uhh…

Barb: We’ll hear from Adam later, but right now, I think it’s time to get the main event started.

[Barb and Tom walk out onto the set, where the crowd is now packed, with the front rows being taken up by friends and family of the castaways while the back rows have actual fans. They are cheering. Adam quietly makes his way to a table on the right side, in the back, and sits down. Tom and Barb address the crowd.]

Tom: Okay, folks, thanks for showing up. Now for the last couple of days, we've subjected each of the castaways to one more romp down memory lane. Each of the sixteen has watched the entire series once more, including the ATC episodes. We also put everybody in their own separate viewing room, just to make it interesting.

Barb: And believe me, it was tough getting separate viewing rooms for everybody.

(Shot of Serena, sitting, engaged at a television set. She's in the boy's locker room, which is still occupied. A couple of the jocks are glancing at her oddly. Back to Tom and Barb.)

Tom: But now we're ready to bring in our sixteen lucky contestants. They all survived, some more than others, but they all deserve some attention. I guess. Anyway, first we'll bring out three Americans, taking fourth, ninth, and fourteenth place. They are Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup- The Powerpuff Girls.

[Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup enter the set, to heavy cheers. All characters are somewhat formally dressed. They all smile, wave, and sit down in a table- second row on the left side.]

Tom: Next, she only finished thirteenth, but proved to be one of the more popular castaways... Serena a.k.a. Sailor Moon.

[Serena enters, to equally heavy cheers. She bows, then sits in front of the PPG, near the middle aisle.]

Barb: Next up, with the best average finish, probably because of the author's heavy Simpsons bias...

Adam: (OS) You can't prove anything!

Barb: Finishing second and fifth, Bart and Lisa, two of the Simpsons.

[Bart and Lisa enter, to more cheers. Probably not as much as Serena got. They sit next to Serena.]

Barb: And since we're being absolutely official here, the next castaways have been divided into two different shows.

Tom: From regular old boring "Pokémon," with a third place finish, Tracey!

[Tracey enters, to a surprising number of cheers, although nowhere near as many as the others, and sits in the table in the second row- right side.]

Barb: And from Pokémon: The Johto Journeys, with tenth and twelfth place finishes Misty and Ash.

[Ash and Misty enter, to plenty of cheers (surprisingly not as many as Tracey), and sit down next to Tracey.]

Tom: They may have graduated to the fourth grade, but they're still as stylin' as ever- finishing seventh, eleventh, and sixteenth, Stan, Kyle, and Eric from "South Park: The Fourth Grade Years."

[Eric, Kyle, and Stan enter. No, they don't look any different. They sit on the left side, third row table.]

Tom: And finally, don't ask how this works, but we got them. Fresh off a win over the Digimon Emperor... hey Barb, why's he in the audience?

(Shot of Ken, in the audience, looking somewhat miserable.)

Barb: If we need some filler material, we'll have a Deathmatch between that Kenny and South Park's Kenny.

(Shot of South Park's Kenny, who looks up in surprise.)

Tom: Let's hope it doesn't come down to that. Anyway, they may be four years older but they're technically the same kids. Finishing fifteenth, eighth, sixth, and first, it's Matt, Izzy, Sora, and our champ Tai from "Digimon."

[Tai, Sora, Izzy, and Matt enter to heavy cheers, and sit on the table on the right side, first row.]

Barb: Before we begin, I'd just like to see what you all thought of seeing the finished product. Were you accurately portrayed, or do you think the audience didn't get the right side of you?

Lisa: I think that it was pretty accurate for most of us. It was a good sampling, capturing us all in both our good and bad times.

Blossom: Yeah, she's right about it for most of us. I was really satisfied with the way I was presented for example. But some of the others I wasn't so sure about. Like Buttercup. I think it really presented her as kind of a downer, who was just trying to get Bart voted off. I think she was a little more open than that.

Bart: I'll admit this... she did break a smile once. That's all I remember.

Barb: When was that?

Buttercup: Okay, I'll admit, beating the tar out of the big-ass snake was fun. That was cool. I didn't really have too much of a problem with it. I guess I didn't enjoy this thing as much as some of the others did. That's probably my fault.

Izzy: The biggest discrepancy I noticed as far as on-screen persona was with Matt. I think that every time he was shown, it was more of his negative side. He was definitely more open than that, even though he was probably the hardest worker in the early days.

Tom: Ash, Misty? You two took opposite viewpoints regarding Matt. How do you two feel he was presented?

Misty: I actually agree with Izzy. He wasn't that bad. I think the stuff that they showed him doing was the stuff that did get him voted off, but he wasn't a total grump for six days. He was certainly bossy, but he had his share of fun.

Ash: Yeah, uh, he had some fun... I don't know what else to say.

Tom: Note to self... don't ask Ash any more questions regarding interpersonal relationships.

Ash: What do you mean? I can answer those, I just didn't have to add anything else to what Misty said.

Tom: Oh, well in that case... do you think Misty and Tai would have made a good couple?

(Ash is taken aback, with hand connecting to back of neck. He glances at Misty worriedly.)

Ash: Oh, um... I...

[Ash gets up and runs outside.]

Matt: That would've been a guaranteed hammer shot from Misty.

Misty: It will be when he comes back!

Tracey: I don't think he's coming back.

Barb: But while we're on the topic... Tai? Still got the hots for Misty?

Tai: I never had the hots for Misty! I was just...

Sora: (interrupting) Man, he was just drooling over her. I swear it, he felt like he wasn't going to live through that night of the summit. He was so jealous of Bart for getting to spend a night with Misty on that sand spit.

Bart: I didn't touch her Tai, she's all yours!

[Tai's starting to sweat now. Misty is right behind him, staring him in the face. Sora's staring at him too, smug. Tai folds his arms.]

Tai: (disgruntled) I won, I didn't think I'd have to put up with this. Go bug Eric!!

Tom: Okay, okay, enough talking about the Taisty. We'll go to a much lighter one, that did briefly come into fruition. And that would be the cute little romance between our island's nerds, Lisa and Izzy. Since this one was still going on when the series ended, we have to know- what happened afterwards?

Izzy: Well, afterwards, we did stay in contact through e-mail for awhile.

Lisa: Actually, most of us did send e-mails a lot. I know I e-mailed Bubbles and Blossom a lot afterwards, and even Sora and Kyle a few times along with Izzy.

Izzy: Yes, but it wasn't too long before the romance aspect of our relationship sort of fizzled out. We had no intentions of making visits...

Lisa: My last trip to Japan met with some problems. Seizure-inducing anime not withstanding.

(Izzy's pointing to Misty and Tracey at the table behind him.)

Izzy: Hey, complain to these guys about that! But there was that, and the whole aging thing turned into a problem. It's tough to carry on a relationship when you're aging four times faster than the other person.

Matt: Four times zero is what?

Izzy: Uh...

(Matt stands up proudly)

Matt: Yes! I beat somebody! Couldn't beat Serena then but I can beat Izzy now!

Izzy: Right... so we kind of lost contact. We e-mail each other once in awhile, but nothing more than the others.

Barb: Who else do you get e-mails from?

Izzy: Well, I talk to Tracey once in awhile. And occasionally Ash sends something when he has access to the internet. I think I even got something from Stan once.

Stan: Yeah... okay once I sent a few people some stuff. I gotta admit this was pretty cool. Every so often, I'll send stuff to Tracey or Bart, and maybe Izzy and Tai now and then.

Tom: Neat, but we're getting a bit off topic. We gotta talk about Tracey and Sora. Tracey, you seemed to fit into the "Richard" persona quite well on the island, but Sora was something of a diversion.

Tracey: I wasn't trying to impersonate Richard. I had my own plan for winning, and it was something similar, but I'm sorry, if somebody like Sora jumps into your arms, to not develop something you'd have to be like, like... well like Richard.

Stan: Or like Li Showron.

Tracey: Exactly!

Tom: And now...

Tracey: Sora grew up! Fine by me! I have nothing against dating older women. (to Sora) Sound good? For old time's sake?

[Sora is burying her head in embarrassment. Zoom out to show Matt and Izzy.]

Matt: You can pick her up at eight.

[General laughter from the audience.]

Tom: Well, we'll let you two talk during the commercial. As for the American side, the cutest relationship we had was Bubbles and Bart. Despite a five year age difference, these two were really close friends... up until Bart voted Bubbles off.

Bart: That was a slight damper on the relationship.

Tom: But for Mr. Underachiever and someone who defined a generation, it seems a bit out of place for you to have such a friendship with cute little Bubbles.

Bart: I don't know, I think I just admired her attitude towards life. Having superpowers and not caring. She was just cool!

Bubbles: He wanted to have fun. I wanted to have fun. It actually worked out quite well given the circumstances.

Tom: Well, that's nice. But Bart didn't work quite well with your sister Buttercup, and we'll talk about that, and other less jolly relationships after this commercial break. We'll let Tracey and Sora occupy the janitor's closet to "remember old times" while you hear from our sponsors. Hey Adam, who are our sponsors?

Adam: I just wrote this, I wasn't in charge of finding sponsors. I can plug "EarthBound!"

Tom: Aw jeez, not that thing again.

Adam: Well then you figure it out, I'm going out back for a smoke.

(Adam begins to walk away, then stops.)

Adam: Wait a second, I don't smoke! (mumbles) Worst author insertion ever.

(Adam walks away.)

Tom: Anyway, we got five minutes before we're back on, so do what you want.

[A few get up and leave. Tom goes over to Barb.]

Tom: Hey, any sign of Ash?

[Shot of Ash, outside, with Manny.]

Manny: Sorry. I don't care if you came out of the building, you don't get back in without being on the list.

Ash: But I was one of the contestants! There were a whole four people voted off before me!

Manny: Ooh, great job, you beat the fatso, the loner, the dictator and the ditz.

(Ash just looks away, and sees Davis.)

Davis: Hey, join the club.

(Shot of Tai, looking down in nervous relief. Bart walks by, and sees him.)

Bart: Hey, what’s up with you?

Tai: Me? Oh, just a bit relieved. I didn’t think the questions would be like that.

Bart: Like what? The stupid little romance questions?

Tai: Yeah.

Bart: What’s wrong with those, everybody knew you had the hots for Misty.

Tai: That’s not what I’m talking about…

Bart: What the hell are you talking about then?

Tai: Well… I confessed a bit too much in that last confessional.

Bart: Oh… right.

Tai: I think I have a problem with accidentally declaring love for Sora.

Bart: Well… do you love Sora?

Tai: I have no idea!!

Bart: That is a problem then… see ya!

[Bart leaves. Tai mutters incoherently.]

[Over at the front row of the audience, Stan, Kyle, and Eric are introducing Tracey to Kenny. After a brief introduction.]

Tracey: Nice meeting you Kenny.

Kenny: [incoherent mumbling which I’m not going to translate because it doesn’t matter]

Kyle: He‘s a big fan of yours. He likes you more than Cartman.

Tracey: Why’s that?

Kenny: [Long, incoherent mumbling which I’m not going to translate because it’s not appropriate for a PG-rated fic.]

(Tracey looks a bit stunned.)

Tracey: Uh, no.

Kenny: [Angry incoherent mumbling.]

Tracey: Dude, she was eleven!

Kenny: [Mumbling which sounds almost like "Screw you, I’m going home".]

[Tracey looks shocked as Kenny walks away.]

Eric: Man, I’m with him!

[Eric walks away too.]

Tracey: Stan, you’ve got some weird friends.

Kyle: You’re lucky we couldn’t invite Timmy.

Stan: Actually, compared to Cartman and Kenny… Timmy’s pretty normal.

Barb: (OS) We’re on in 30 seconds!

[Almost everybody, with the exception of Ash, Eric, and Bart, scrambles to their seats just as Tom leads the show back in.]

Tom: And welcome back to Animation Survivor: The Reunion…

[Bart enters quickly and takes his seat.]

Bart: Sorry, long line at the bathroom.

Tom: Right. Anyway, now we’re going to talk about the more negative relationships or "rivalries" that occurred on the island. Now one that started out quite serious but eventually found its way to becoming ATC fodder was the lack of respect between Serena and Matt. Now although Barb put a swift end to the bet…

Matt: Even though I won…

Tom: Yeah sure whatever, anyway- you two didn’t get along on the island. The resort not withstanding, did either of you two have a change of heart after watching the footage?

Matt: I still say she was a weaker link than I was, but it looked like I was a little harder than I probably should have been. I guess… I’m sorry.

Tom: Serena?

Serena: Damn right you’re sorry… er…

(Tom shakes his head)

Serena: What I meant by that was… I guess maybe I could’ve worked a little harder… but I save the world far too often to worry about contributing to something as insignificant as this.

(Zoom out, to show Bart next to her.)

Bart: Of course, Tai said the same thing… and he won.

Serena: I didn’t say I didn’t want to win, I said I didn’t want to put an effort into it.

Bart: Oh.

Tom: Well, since Bart rudely interrupted Serena, let’s cover the vicious rivalry that occurred between Bart and Buttercup. And unlike Matt and Serena, this one didn’t really improve much.

Matt: Me and Serena improved?

Buttercup: Look, I’ll admit that he started working after I left, but he did squat while I was there, you gotta give me that.

Bart: Okay, so I kinda started out with Serena’s frame of mind… well… not quite so much with the "break from saving the world" aspect. But still… I think she got a bit obsessed with trying to vote me off.

Blossom: If you don’t mind me jumping in, I took Buttercup’s side for the first part of the show. Once she got voted off, I think it’s really great that Bart and I kinda met halfway. I wasn’t quite as determined to pick him off…

Stan: Yeah, you moved on to me…

Blossom: (ignoring Stan) And he started working a bit. I think that it’s good that we both became friends like that and if I can do it, I think Buttercup can too.

Tom: I think we need a handshake here.

[Bart, slightly embarrassed, extends a hand up to Buttercup. Buttercup is hesitant at first, then cracks a smile and shakes it, to cheers from the others.]

Blossom: Buttercup, are you shaking like you mean it?

[Buttercup gets a really big smile, and shakes Bart up and down the room, almost hitting the ceiling. She drops him safely in his seat and sits down.]

Stan: Dude, I think she meant it.

Blossom: (almost teasing) Buttercup and Bart, sitting in a tree…

[Buttercup, still smiling, punches Blossom through the wall of the set and outside.]

Blossom: What was that for?

[Buttercup stops smiling.]

Buttercups: (sincere) Whoops. Sorry.

(Blossom begins to head inside.)

Manny (OS): Hey! You’re not on the list, you can’t go in!!

(Shot of Tom, who looks at the camera and smiles)

Tom: Moving on… Sora/Stan rivalry- anything to add?

Sora/Stan: (bored) No.

Tom: Great, we can hit the big one… Tai and Tracey. Tracey, let’s face it, you were quite a thorn in Tai’s side since the merger and your little oratory at the final council ranks right up there with Susan’s in terms of bitchiness.

[Quite a few boos from the audience.]

Tom: Jeez, lot of Susan fans here.

Adam: Yeah, her hometown’s like five miles away… she’s the jewel of Wisconsin you know.

Tom: Anyway… my question is do you still stand by that?

Tracey: Well, I’d hate to say it, but I do. As bad as it sounds, I stand by most everything I said back there. I just hope that Tai’s willing to accept the validity of what I said.

Tom: Tai, four years to think about it… do you?

Tai: Actually, I kind of do. The big thing I think was that I voted him off that one time. I’ll give him that one. I’ll admit that I should’ve voted for Bart instead of Tracey. But still, maybe I should’ve been more competitive, maybe I should’ve "played along," maybe I shouldn’t have spent as much time wallowing in self pity. But I still came out on top and I’m still proud of that. Perhaps except for that last vote, I would’ve played it the same way. (to Tracey) Good enough?

Tracey: Satisfies me. Thanks Tai.

(Tracey extends a hand, Tai quickly receives it.)

Tom: Just out of curiosity… Bart- final vote in the jury, would you have gone Tai or Tracey?

Bart: Probably Tai.

Tom: Good… so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.

Barb: Actually, Tom, both me and Manny probably would’ve voted for Tracey instead of Tai. I just liked Tai better than Bart.

Tom: Oh… we’ll be right back with audience questions… and we’re off.

Barb: Great… I have to go distribute the "audience questions."

[Barb pulls out a stack of notecards and walks away. Shot of Bubbles talking to Sora and Serena.]

Bubbles: I still can’t figure out how you can get four years older in just three months.

Sora: Um… you’ll have to ask Izzy.

[Zoom out to show Izzy, listening in.]

Izzy: Well, based on all of my scientific researching… I don’t have a freakin’ idea.

[Zoom back in.]

Serena: So what’s been going on between you and Tai?

Sora: Me and Tai? I thought you were trying to get Tai and Misty together.

Serena: That was three months ago. Get with the times, you and Tai are the big talk now.

Sora: (not amused) Right… well I hate to disappoint you all, but me and Tai don’t really like each other that way.

(Misty walks by)

Misty: That’s not how you’re supposed to say it! When somebody suggests that you and a friend are involved romantically… Bubbles could you lead me in?

Bubbles: Um… okay… hey Misty… when are you and Ash going to…

[In an instant, Misty has her mallet out and targeted towards Bubbles, but in that same instant, Bubbles dodges out of the way, as the mallet makes a large crater in the aisle.]

Misty: (angry) What do you mean… (impressed) Hey, nice reflexes!

Bubbles: Thank you!

Serena: You know he did say that thing in that confessional of his…

Sora: Oh, he does that every year. We always end up laughing about it in the end…

(Sora shakes her head and smiles, almost dreamy.)

Sora: Stupid Tai.

Tom (OS): Places everybody, we’re on in 45.

[Bubbles, Misty, and Serena return to their seats. Sora’s still smiling a bit as she glances innocently at Tai, who’s talking with Matt. He happens to glance over at Sora, looks at her oddly, then sticks his tongue at her for no good reason. Sora turns away, laughing a little, still smiling, and kinda thinking. Shot of Tom and Barb, just entering.]

Tom: Hey… where’s Ash? And Eric? And Blossom?

Barb: And now that you mention it, I thought we had Kenny in the audience.

Tom: Oh, he’s still here.

(Tom points over to Ken, still looking miserable.)

Barb: No, I meant the other one. Bubblegoose boy.

Tom: Good question.

(Outside, Blossom, Eric, and Kenny try to get back in.)

Manny: Hey, I don’t care if you were contestants, you aren’t on the list.

Kenny: [incoherent mumbling]

Manny: Oh, wait… you are Kenny. You can go in.

[Kenny says something pleasantly and reenters the building. Pan over to Ash and Davis, having a friendly conversation.)

Davis: I mean, come on… how do you expect to get anything done with little tiny monsters like that?

(Ash pulls a pokéball out of nowhere and holds it to Davis, threatening.)

Ash: (dark) Wanna find out?

[Davis looks very nervous.]

Davis: No! No… that’s okay. Which one is that anyway?

Ash: (still dark) It doesn’t matter which one this is.

(Back inside, Tom’s still sulking, glancing at his watch.)

Barb: Don’t worry, I took out all of the questions to those three.

Tom: Still, it doesn’t explain why those little… (suddenly cheery) And welcome back to Animation Survivor: The Reunion Special! This is the fun part of the show, where we field audience questions. Barb’s in the audience, ready to take it away.

[Tom goes back to sit next to Adam, who’s asleep on the table. Tom pokes him until he wakes up.]

Adam: This is getting boring. I hate these PR things.

Tom: Can’t you control what happens and stuff?

Adam: Yeah… you’re right. Misty?

(Zoom out to show Misty, sitting just in front of Tom.)

Misty: Yes?

Adam: Hit Tom with your mallet.

Misty: I can’t. Tom made me get rid of it.

Adam: (to Tom) You made her get rid of a mallet she stores in some extra-dimensional… closet?

Tom: You may be able to control everything, but I have to pay for any damages because of it. Between the outside wall and the platform, we’re way over budget here.

Adam: Nice working with you again!

[Shot of Barb, in the audience.]

Barb: Now, what we’re going to do here is have random audience members ask questions to our sixte… er… thirteen castaways. Who’s first… you sir!

[Barb goes over to a typical college student on campus, who doesn’t really know what he’s doing here. His speech is very forced and sounds pretty dumb.]

College Kid: Uh… what was the funniest thing that didn’t h… h… h…

[He points to the card and looks at Barb.]

Barb: Hit.

College Hit cameras?

[Shot of Adam, looking miserable.]

Adam: Baka. Baka. Baka.

Misty: That would definitely be the time we snuck to the lodge.

Serena: Yeah, me and Misty and Tai snuck over there. It was a hoot.

Barb: Yeah, yeah, we heard enough about that. Anything else we missed?

Buttercup: What about the ambush?

Bart: Oh, right!!

Tom: Ambush? I missed this one.

Kyle: Buttercup and Blossom were in the woods on one of their little conspiratorial forest trips, so Stan got everybody to sneak up on them from behind. We all scared them good.

Tom: Right… it didn’t really have an impact on anything so we didn’t show it.

Lisa: Buttercup did take that in good sport though.

Stan: Yes, that’s an interesting sidenote. She didn’t get mad.

Bubbles: I think that one time Tai insisted on eating that fish balloon Stan caught was was fun too.

Tai: You didn’t tell me that thing had spikes all over it!

Izzy: Yes we did! And blowfish is usually extremely poisonous as well! Very few people survive after eating it.

Homer: (OS) Hey, I ate a blowfish once and…

Bart: Just sit down dad.

[Shot of Homer, in the audience, who has stood up. Marge and Maggie are restraining him.]

Tracey: Get the trank gun.

[Two uniformed men enter the set from backstage, fire two rounds of tranquilizer at Homer, then leave. Tracey turns back to Adam.]

Tracey: Hey, nice work.

Adam: Sorry, but the last thing I need is Homer mucking this fic up.

Bart: Hey! What happened to that Simpsons-bias?

Adam: That only applies to you and Lis… maybe Maggie.

[Barb is standing in the audience with another person. This is a girl, who actually looks like she wants to be here. She has a Pokémon t-shirt, with a generic picture of Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu.]

Girl: Yeah, my question is for Misty and Space… er, uh, Tracey. Well, it was for Ash too, but he’s not here right now.

[Shot of Blossom, outside, talking.]

Blossom: And that’s why I think this competition really represented business as usual for the networks, using their shows and their talents for general bragging rights. It’s a bit symbolic in a way, don’t you think?

[She’s talking to Ash, and Davis, who are asleep, heads leaning against each other.]

(Shot of the girl and Barb)

Barb: So what’s the question?

Girl: I’m just wondering if you really think you’re better than Ash or Misty, or especially Brock, after doing so good in this stupid little thing?

[Shot of Misty and Tracey. Tracey’s a bit confused.]

Tracey: Well, actually, I have a lot more respect for Misty and Ash now. I think I understand where they’re coming from. I was never a huge Ash fan before, but I actually gained respect for him on the island, which continued on into life. Heck, I was practically cheering for him in that big match in Pummelo. But… since Tom took away Misty’s mallet… I whooped their butts good.

[Misty slaps her forehead.]

Tracey: As for Brock, I don’t know why this would make me "better than Brock" He wasn’t even in this thing. What I’m curious about is whether or not he respects me. What do you think?

[Brock (who was like two rows ahead of the girl in the stands) stands up.]

Brock: Actually, yeah, I think Tracey used some pretty interesting techniques on the island and…

Girl: (excitement) Brock! I didn’t see you there! It’s so nice seeing you again, you don’t know how good it feels having you back on the team!

Barb: You didn’t see him there? With that hair?

Girl: Yeah, I thought it was Maggie Simpson with a bonnet or something. They have the same hair you know.

Brock: No we don’t!

[Brock moves over a couple seats, and takes Maggie in her arms, talking to Marge.]

Brock: (politely) Excuse me ma’am. (complimentary) Hey, you look… nice this evening.

[Brock holds Maggie up to the side of his head. Shot of their heads. Sure enough, it’s a similar hairstyle.]

Girl: Hmm… you’re right… it’s closer to Lisa’s hair.

[Lisa screams and runs out the door… outside.]

Barb: There goes another one.

[Adam’s just shaking his head.]

[Barb is now standing with Kari, for the next question.]

Barb: (not recognizing her) And what’s your question young lady?

Kari: My question’s for Tai.

Tai: Yeah, Kari?

Barb: Tai, you know this girl?

[Kari shakes her head, then continues.]

Kari: Anyway, Tai… what happened to that money? I thought you won a million yen, how come I didn’t see any of it?

Tai: Well, um… (to Tom) That’s a good question! I don’t think you guys ever paid me!

Tom: Um… it was Adam’s fault!

Adam: No it isn’t! You were in charge of the financing!

Tom: Yeah, but you were the one that wrote in that part at the last minute! We were going to get away with stiffing them!

Adam: Sorry for not abusing the castaways!

Tom: You should be! (to Tai, more mellow) Anyway, Tai, in response to your question… the check’s in the mail. We sent it out, I can’t imagine you not getting it already.

Tai: It’s been in the mail for four years!

Tom: Well… it was one of those giant novelty checks! Maybe it was sent back to us because of insufficient postage. We’ll get it to you.

(Tom turns to Adam)

Tom: As soon as this is finished, let’s make a run for it.

[Back up to Barb, standing with D Marco]

Barb: Now, two of our audience members have contributed heavily to the success of this, and therefore they get the opportunity to ask three questions, unlike the run-in-the-mill common stock fans who only get one. First up is D Marco, whose commentary provided in-depth analysis not usually found in crummy little fanfics like this.

D Marco: Thanks Barb. And Adam, it may be convenient for you, but I had to fly here all the way from Florida, including a stopover in Georgia.

Adam: That doesn’t sound so bad.

D Marco: As in Georgia of the former Soviet Union.

Adam: Oh.

D Marco: (to Tom) You are reimbursing me for that flight, right?

Tom: (nervous, then quietly to Adam) Whatta you think, we start running now, we hit the border on Saturday? Christmas in Calgary’s always nice!

D Marco: Anyway, my first question is for Kyle. Would have been for Eric too but he isn’t here: Did you honestly expect Stan to go as far as he did? Or do you think he could’ve gone farther and got jipped?

Kyle: Ooh, um… I definitely think Stan could’ve gotten a little farther. Especially after watching the series again. I mean did you see him? He was catching fish, he was friends with both Tracey and Bart. Nobody really hated him. Heck, even Sora let go of that thing she had against him. Let’s face it- Stan was kicking ass! I think it was just bad luck that Bart and Lisa couldn’t agree on somebody and they picked him instead.

Stan: Hey now that you mention it, if Tracey didn’t win immunity that one time, he probably would’ve been voted off, so I could’ve made it a bit longer.

Kyle: Yeah, I’ll honestly say I couldn’t see him winning, or even getting to the final four, but yeah he definitely could’ve gone a few more rounds.

D Marco: Question two is for Tai- When you voted off Matt, Ash, and Blossom, did you do so for basically similar reasons as you voted off Tracey?

Tai: Ooh. You mean did I vote them all off for about the same reason?

D Marco: Yeah.

Tai: That’s probably tough to say. The way I voted Matt and Ash off were definitely similar. I was friends with both of them, I just wanted them off for various other reasons.

Matt: Like trying to score with Misty.

Tai: Exactly.

[Tai slaps his forehead.]

Tai: (sotto, to Matt) Jeez, I did it again. I really do have a problem with accidentally declaring love… whether I mean it or not.

Matt: I’m just going to leave now to prevent any embarrassing incidents.

Tai: Good idea.

[Matt gets up and walks out silently while Tai continues.]

Tai: Anyway… I guess Blossom and Tracey were a bit different. With those, I was more geared towards getting revenge because of Misty and Sora.

Izzy: (leading on) Because you love Misty and Sora?

Tai: Y… (catching himself) Nice try Izzy. Revenge was the main reason, I guess. Although at the time… I just did not like Tracey. Simple as that.

Tracey: Fine by me, as long as you don’t accidentally say you love me.

Tai: No… (sarcastically dreamy) Although Blossom did have nice eyes…

[General laughter.]

D Marco: Well, my third question happens to be on a similar note. This one’s for Misty- If you could go out with one and only one of the nine male contestants, who would you choose and why?

(Misty looks surprised.)

Misty: Well, that’s pretty direct. Let’s see… I think I would have to pick… Kyle.

Kyle: (shocked) What?!

Misty: Yep. The reasons are simple- it’s not a controversial answer, he’s not going to take me up on the offer, and there’s nothing for you to read into the answer.

D Marco: Wanna bet? Let’s see, you and Kyle… that answer obviously stems from the fact that you two were voted off three days from each other, and entered the resort at about the same time. Kyle’s a nice enough guy, and you may be looking to make Ash jealous in another effort to get his libido going, similar to what Matt tried in the ATC. Kyle’s the perfect specimen for that kind of thing. Also, there’s definitely a connection between you and Kyle in that you each took similar roles on each tribe. Note that you were both matched up as the "thankless extra."

Misty: (angry) Thankless extra??!! I'll extra you!!

D Marco: No mallet. Too bad.

[Misty angrily charges towards the audience, and does a flying kick towards D Marco. He dodges in time, and she takes out Kenny, who was sitting behind him. Shot of Stan and Kyle.]

Kyle: Oh my God… she killed Kenny!!

Stan: (to Kyle) And you can pick her up at eight!

[Shot of Tom who walks to the front of the set, while Barb drags Misty out of the building.]

Tom: While Barb takes care of Misty, let’s get questions from our next "Gold Star" audience member. And that is none other than Star Otaku, who provided quite a bit of support, and made the concept of leaving cartoon characters to starve on a deserted island fun again.

[Star Otaku stands up, as soon as she does, the Pokémon fan girl stands up.]

Girl: Hey, it’s you! Why didn’t you have Misty win Survivor! I wanted Misty or Ash to win!

Star Otaku: (muttering) Yeah, yeah. You have no idea how often I get…

Girl: Why did Sora have to win?

[Shot of Sora, looking pleasantly surprised]

Sora: I won!? Ha, kiss on that Tai!!

[Back to Star Otaku, quietly laughing.]

Star Otaku: Okay, my first two questions are very similar. First is for the Americans- if there was another Japanese anime you’d like to have in this, what would it be?

Kyle: Definitely not Chinpokomon.

Stan: Seriously, I don’t know. I haven’t seen many. I think that that one Tenchi show they got on Cartoon Network is okay.

[Shot of Brock, who stands up.]

Brock: Yes! Tenchi forever! You look at him, and he is living the perfect life. There’s no doubt that somebody who can achieve that deserves serious recognition.

Bart: As for me, I think there’s no question- Kodomo no Omocha.

Star Otaku: I’m… not familiar with that one.

Adam: (suspicious) It’s not commercially available in the US. You’d have to know certain people to have seen it… Bart??

Bart: Uh… I think I’ll go see what Lisa and Blossom are up to!

[Bart quickly runs out.]

Star Otaku: Man, that’s like seven gone now. Anyway, next question is for the Japanese- if they could have another American show in Survivor, what would it be?

Tracey: (quickly) Futurama.

Izzy: (quickly) Futurama.

Tai: (quickly) Futurama.

Serena: (quickly) Daria.

[Everybody stares at her.]

Serena: What, I like those kind of unbelievable fantasy shows.

Tom: Um, you sure you know what that’s about?

Serena: Yeah! I refuse to believe that anybody could be that depressed. Total fantasy.

Star Otaku: Anyway, my final question can be answered by anybody- if you were to be replaced by somebody from your own show, who would it be?

[Kari stands up.]

Kari: Yeah, Tai, one person from your show. Have fun with that one.

Tai: Oh boy… I defer to Sora.

Sora: Um… defer to Izzy.

Izzy: Defer to Matt…

(Zoom out, Matt’s still gone.)

Izzy: Shoot. Okay… being completely objective… I’d have to say that over the years, TK’s been the most…

(Shot of Yolei, standing up, looking at him angrily.)

Izzy: Or maybe Yolei…

(Shot of Cody, standing up and staring at him.)

Izzy: Or Cody…

(Shot of Kari and TK angry)

Izzy: Or Kari. Yeah, definitely.

Star Otaku: So Kari?

Izzy: I didn’t say that!

Tracey: Well, for me it’s simple. ..

(Shot of Brock, nodding.)

Tracey: Professor Oak.

[Shot of Professor Oak, shaking his head. He leans over to Ash’s mom, sitting next to him.]

Professor Oak: He may be annoying at times, but he’s definitely good for an ego boost.

(Shot of Buttercup.)

Buttercup: I couldn’t think of anybody besides us Powerpuff Girls to be in our spots, but I can think of somebody to be in place of Serena for her show.

Serena: Who?

Buttercup: Anybody!

[Serena looks slightly angry.]

Bubbles: I’d like to see the kitty in her place.

[Shot of Luna, in the audience.]

Luna: Well it’s about time I got noticed.

Tom: Any other questions, besides Star and uh… D?

Mimi (OS): Yes, I have one for Tracey.

[Mimi stands up, wearing a trench coat.]

Tracey: Mimi. Uh… hi.

Mimi: Yes, there were a couple times on that island where I got the feeling that you were glad I wasn’t there.

Tracey: Well, a couple times I may have declined an invitation for you to appear…

Mimi: Yes, well I was wondering… can you say "Eww, no thanks" to this??

[Mimi throws off the trench coat, revealing her in a pink bikini top, grass skirt, and pink flower leis topping off the ensemble. Tracey gulps. Quick shot of Sora, head slumped on the table in embarrassment. She reaches over, and physically forces Izzy to slump his head on the table in embarrassment.]

Mimi: Um… Joe? Where are you?

[Star Otaku stands up]

Star Otaku: Where is Joe? I had a whole scene lined up here where Joe tries to club Tracey with a ukelele.

[Tracey gulps again.]

[Outside, shot of Manny with Joe, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, and sporting a ukelele.]

Manny: Sorry… not on the list.

Joe: Oh… just my luck.

Davis: (OS) Just your luck? How come I have it then?!

Joe: Star’s gonna be mad at me again…

[Back inside, Star Otaku looks disappointed.]

Star Otaku: Well, that kinda busted. So much for "Old Reliable." (to Mimi) Forget it Mimi, it’s over.

Tracey: (OS) Hold on.

[Shot of Tracey, quickly trying to sketch Mimi.]

Tracey: Give me a few more seconds… could you hike the skirt up just a bit higher? I think I’ll title this one "Tropical Beauty."

[Shot of Tom, watching the whole thing, shaking his head.]

Tom: We’d better take a break to get everything under control again. We’ll be back to wrap it up after this.

[Tom pauses for about a second, then turns to Adam.]

Tom: Next time, you’re running this.

[Tracey leans back to Tom.]

Tracey: I was wondering… Mimi's an anime character living in New York, so if she was in Animation Survivor… which team would she play for?

Adam/Tom: Shut up Tracey.

(Shot of Barb, standing in front of the set. Tom walks up to her.)

Barb: Let’s see… Ash, Eric, Blossom, Lisa, Matt, Misty, and Bart have left.

Tom: Maybe we should give a million yen to whoever survives the reunion.

(Zoom out to show D Marco, listening in on the conversation.)

D Marco: I can get some rankings on who’s most likely to do it!

(Tom slaps his forehead.)

[Shot of Misty and Ash outside, huddled over a slightly nervous Lisa.]

Misty: Yeah… she does have hair like Brock.

Ash: Maybe they get it done by the same barber.

[Matt approaches.]

Matt: Where do these two live now?

Ash: Oh, I suppose you’re right.

Matt: Still… I can’t help but think it looks like somebody else too.

[Davis enters the scene. Matt looks at him, then looks back at Lisa. In his eye, an image of Jun, Davis’s sister, briefly appears superimposed on Lisa. Yes, similar hair. Matt screams and runs off past Eric and Bart.]

Eric: (to Bart) Now see, you see why I wanted to get voted off so early? It’s because of these weirdos.

[Tom is standing with Adam.]

Tom: Okay, got it all straightened out, I bring it down, you say a quick piece, thank your people, and we finish off.

Adam: Sounds good.

Tom: (to the crowd) That’s about it for Animation Survivor. It was a thrill a minute, and the complete package is available in both Zip file and DVD.

Adam: We didn’t get the DVD ready.

Tom: Darn. Anyway, before we go, we sent our intern researcher Tim to the Australian Outback to show you what we have in store for next January… then we realized that we weren’t going to have an Animation Survivor II. We’ll fly him back one of these days. Adam, some final words?

Adam: Sure… I’d just like to say thanks to everybody who read this, especially D Marco, Star Otaku, and Steve Scott who couldn’t make it here tonight.

Tom: No way in hell I’m flying him in from Scotland.

Adam: Finally, just a quick disclaimer- I do not own the Powerpuff Girls, Digimon, South Park, Sailor Moon, or The Simpsons. I used to own Pokémon… but I sold it to get a Playstation.

Tom: Right. Fortunately, the Animation Alliance does own all of those, so this was all perfectly legal!

Adam: Uh… right.

Tom: On behalf of Barb, Manny, our sixteen contestants, nine of which are actually still in the building, we thank you for watching Animation Survivor, and uh… oh shoot I can’t think of any thing to go out with. I don’t know… drive home safely!

(General parting shot, as the remaining castaways get up and mingle with everybody while the credits roll, including all of the hosts and voice actors and stuff.)