The Anime-zing Race 2

Episode Seven

Author’s Notes
Since I’m now working full-time, I have no idea what this will do to my schedule, but I did manage to get episode eight completed beforehand, and with a month of flak time I can hopefully get episode nine set. Any delays probably won’t kick in until the very end. Anyway, we move on to Vandread, the only series which was legitimately considered for the first season, but missed the cut (as opposed to this season where I heavily considered/planned several legs including FLCL, Comic Party, and yes even that damn Ai Yori Aoshi). It was fun visiting this one again for race details.

Arumi: (VO) Last time, on the Irresponsible Captain Tylor leg of the Anime-zing Race…

(Shot of Jessie and Ayla unimpressed at the Soyokaze.)

Arumi: (VO) The teams headed to the year 7000, which was overwhelming to some, and underwhelming to others.

Jessie: (VO) C’mon, it’s 2,000 years in the future and this is supposed to be an “amazing” race- is this the best you can do??

(Shot of Yukito in the Zero-G simulator, followed with a shot of him fainting.)

Arumi: (VO) The Detour doesn’t sit well with Yukito, forcing Touya to pick up the slack.

Touya: (VO) Yuki’s the strongest person I know, but his health isn’t always the greatest. So I could only guess how severe this was. And that’s hard to do, especially when we’re in this race.

(Shot Yukari & Minamo and Noboyuki & Tenchi sneaking away on the Soyokaze.)

Arumi: And despite their brief alliance not panning out, Noboyuki & Tenchi still benefit from tagging along with Yukari & Minamo.

Yukari: Hey! Didn’t we shake you two off?

Tenchi: (dry) We’re gluttons for punishment.

(Shot of Koji pulling Koichi on the Pit Stop mat ahead of May & Max.)

Arumi: (VO) Recognizing that they were tied for last, Koji & Koichi jumped ahead of their alliance partners at the very last second, but May & Max got the last laugh…

(Shot of Arumi at the Pit Stop while May hugs Koichi.)

Arumi: This is the first of three non-elimination legs, and you are both still very much in the race.

(Rapid shots of the seven remaining teams at various points in the race.)

Arumi: (VO) Still seven teams left, but that changes tonight on the Vandread leg of the Anime-zing Race!


12 TEAMS OF 2:
TOUYA & YUKITO (Best Friends / Students- Cardcaptor Sakura)
KOJI & KOICHI (Twin Brothers- Digimon)
JESSIE & AYLA (Rivals- Battle Athletes)
MAY & MAX (Siblings- Pokémon)
SETA & KEITARO (Master & Apprentice- Love Hina) {ELIMINATED}
LINA & GOURRY (Traveling Companions- Slayers)
YUKARI & MINAMO (Best Friends / Teachers- Azumanga Daioh)
NOBOYUKI & TENCHI (Father & Son- Tenchi Muyo)
MINATO & YUKINA (Sisters-In-Law- Nadesico) {ELIMINATED}
CHIHARU & YAMAZAKI (Classmates- Cardcaptor Sakura) {ELIMINATED}
YAMAKI & RILEY (Dating Co-Workers- Digimon) {ELIMINATED}

13 LEGS…


Leg Seven

(A full complement of exterior and interior shots of the Soyokaze.)
Arumi: (VO) This is the Soyokaze, the runt of the United Planets Space Force fleet. Captained by the infamously irresponsible Justy Ueki Tylor, this battleship is the sixth Pit Stop in the race.

(Shot of Lina & Gourry checking in.)

Arumi: (VO) Teams checked in for a mandatory rest period which gives them the chance to eat, sleep…

(Shot of Yuriko, May, and Gourry having a lovely little chat, until Max draws May away.)

Arumi: (VO) …and mingle with the other teams. During the Pit Stop, Max expressed his displeasure with Koji’s move at the end of the last leg.

(Now alone, May complains.)

May: What happened to get you so upset?

Max: You didn’t notice that Koji just tried to get us eliminated?

May: Don’t worry about it, Max, we survived.

Max: Yeah, but Koji wasn’t counting on that. I bet he does it again next time if we let him.

May: If it’s such a big deal to you, why did you let him do it last time?

Max: Because, May, I knew it was a non-elimination leg. I wanted to see if he’d try anything.

May: Wait, you knew?

Max: Yeah. You see, on that last clue it usually says “the last team to arrive…”

(May pulls Max’s cheeks angrily.)

May: You could have told me that before! I almost had a heart attack!

Max: Well, frankly your heart’s been hurting our game plan so…

May: Max, we don’t have a game plan.

Max: That’s true. And we need one if we’re going to outlast Koji.

May: Look, I don’t care what he did, I am not going to play backstabber. We are not racing like that.

Max: Well, he stabbed first. He just didn’t draw blood. May, Koji is not afraid of eliminating us if it keeps them in the race. And if he’s smart, Koichi wouldn’t be either.

May: So what are we supposed to do about it? Even if us and them are stuck going at it to stay in the game, they’re going to win. They’re faster than us, they’re stronger than us, and they’re smarter than us.

(Tylor walks by.)

Tylor: I’ve been there before! Fortunately, solar flares can be your friend.

(Max ignores Tylor.)

Max: May, we need to get away from them. If we’re always together, we’re begging for trouble. I think we should find some excuse to separate and go for the Fast Forward.

Tylor: That works too.

May / Max: (angry) Do you mind??

Tylor: Nope!

(Tylor leaves anyway. May sighs and shakes her head.)

May: I just don’t feel right betraying Koichi like that.

Max: We’re not betraying them. We aren’t doing anything to put them at a disadvantage. We’re just doing what we need to do to stay in the game.

(May frowns.)

Max: You and Koichi can still see each other during the Pit Stops.

(May nods in acknowledgement, but still doesn’t seem too happy.)

May: I guess.

(Another exterior shot of the Soyokaze, docking at what looks to be a decent, upscale space station.)

Arumi: The seven teams don’t know where they’re going next. They have to figure out how to get to the next route marker using clues found in sealed envelopes.


(Shot of Touya and Yukito checking in.)

Arumi: (VO) Touya and Yukito were the first team to arrive at the Pit Stop…

(Later, they are set to go. Yukito still doesn’t look 100 percent.)

Arumi: (VO) …so they’ll be the first to leave once the Soyokaze arrives at its destination.

(Touya opens the clue.)
[TOUYA & YUKITO- Best Friends / Students- 1st to Depart]
Touya: Exit the Soyokaze and walk to the docking station at the Delta-6 mission.


(Rapid shots through the Soyokaze and to a small, dingy docking facility in what looked to be an upscale space station. Buzam Colessa, better known as BC, gives us the lowdown.)
BC: (VO) Teams must exit the Soyokaze and enter the Delta-6 space station, a mission for various interstellar vagrants. Teams will find their first route marker as soon as they arrive at the K-02 station.


(Touya and Yukito are walking through the Soyokaze, moving at a steady pace through the ship.)

Touya: (VO) Yuki is feeling a little better after getting a good rest onboard. But it wouldn’t be a good idea to be do anything too strenuous at this point. Because of the Fast Forward, we got about a forty minute jump on the other teams, so we’re just going to pace ourselves through this one.


(They walk down the ramp of the ship and see the route marker at the entrance to the main part of the station. Touya jogs up to it and grabs a clue as Yukito slowly follows.)

Touya: Find the marked docking station with access to the Nirvana and go to the ship’s hangar bay.


(Rapid shots down the decrepit and often depressing refugee colony, including several groups of unhappy masses. One of the Nirvana’s fighter pilots, Barnette Orangello, has more.)
Barnette: (VO) Teams will have to make their way on foot through the wasteland of Delta-6 until they can find the docking station with a shuttle to the Nirvana.

(Shot of a small shuttle ship leaving the station and approaching the Nirvana, a large, sleek, mothership.)

Barnette: (VO) The shuttle will make regular trips to and from the Nirvana. Once on board, teams will find the next route marker in the hangar bay.


(Touya and Yukito continue to walk through the mission, going through a narrow hallway. At the end of the hallway, Touya presses a button to open a door.)

Yukito: (VO) Nurse Harumi aboard the ship helped me out tremendously. She says I should be fine in a couple days, but for now she recommends taking it easy. That doesn’t mean we’re giving up the race though. We are just going to hope that our lead is large enough to sustain us for awhile.


(Beyond the door is a section of the central core of the mission. They see a lot of huddled masses, most of which are glaring back at them. Touya glares back as well. Yukito smiles.)

Yukito: Don’t mind us! We’re just passing through.

(Touya takes Yukito’s shoulder and leads him past the unwelcoming eyes.)

Touya: (quietly) Let’s just get out of here, we don’t want to start anything.

(They continue along. On the way, a small rubber ball bounces up against Yukito’s leg. Yukito picks it up. Yukito smiles.)

Yukito: See Touya? They’re just living their lives. In a way, we’re all the same.

Boy: (OS) My ball!

(A little boy runs up. Yukito bends down and hands him the ball. The boy violently takes it back.)

Boy: I saw you trying to steal it! Get out of here and leave us alone!

(He runs off. Touya nods.)

Touya: You’re right. It does feel like home. Annoying snots and everything.


(Minamo reads the clue as Yukari gets impatient.)
[YUKARI & MINAMO- Best Friends / Teachers- 2nd to Depart- 42 Minutes Behind Leaders]
Minamo: Exit the Soyokaze and walk to the docking station at the Delta-6 mission.

Yukari: Walk? To where?

Minamo: Didn’t you see the giant space station we’re stopped at?

(Yukari goes over to the window. She sees the mission.)

Yukari: Whoa… better hope that’s it.

Minamo: Only one way to find out.

(They start walking.)

Minamo: It feels good being in front. It feels even better staying in front. We placed second twice in a row. Considering how we were bunched together last leg, and how we went out of our way to stay ahead, this is right where we want to be.


(They exit the ship and reach the next route marker. Yukari runs for it and opens it.)

Yukari: Find the marked docking station with access to the Nirvana and go to the ship’s hangar bay.

Minamo: Any idea which station? I saw a few when we docked.

Yukari: Knowing our luck it’s on the opposite side of this place.

(Minamo thinks for a second, then walks towards the heart of the station.)

Minamo: Yeah, that sounds about right. Let’s try that first.


(Lina and Gourry are next in line.)
[LINA & GOURRY- Traveling Companions- 3rd to Depart- 50 Minutes Behind Leaders]

Lina: (reading) You have absolutely zilch as far as money for this leg of the race.

Gourry: Whoever writes these things needs to work on their interpersonal skills.

Lina: Having a leg in space makes me a little nervous. Levitations spells don’t prepare you for this! But I think this problem is more in our heads than anything else. I mean, half of the other teams haven’t been up in space either. Gourry and I just have to not think about it, and anything involving Gourry not thinking shouldn’t be a problem for us.


(Touya and Yukito reach a different docking station… the wrong docking station, as it’s empty. Touya frowns.)

Touya: Another dead end.

Yukito: Keep trying, I guess.

(Yukito sighs and sits down.)

Touya: Holding up alright?

Yukito: (winded) Just a second…

(Touya stops and waits for his partner to regain his energy.)


(Noboyuki and Tenchi hustling through the Soyokaze.)
[NOBOYUKI & TENCHI- Father & Son- 4th to Depart- 1:03 Behind Leaders]
Tenchi: Are we always going to be running away from them?

Noboyuki: It’s a race, Tenchi, get used to it.

Tenchi: Yeah, yeah…

(They find the exit and run down to fetch the next clue.)

Noboyuki: (VO) I get the impression that Jessie and Ayla are still gunning for us. So it’s in our best interest to race as fast as we can, while doing our best to avoid confrontations. If we can do both.


(Jessie and Ayla are at the bridge.)
[JESSIE & AYLA- Rivals- 5th to Depart- 1:05 Behind Leaders]
Ayla: Exit the Soyokaze and walk to the docking station at the Delta-6 mission.

Jessie: Ready for space Ayla?

Ayla: As much as anybody else.

(They run after the Masaki guys.)

Ayla: I’ve never been in space before, but Jessie has. Once again, it seems she will be taking the lead for us, but as long as we both recognize our roles on the team, we will find success.


(Yukari and Minamo are jogging through the refugee section. Everybody inside is staring at them.)  

Yukari: I don’t know what’s worse- having a thousand angry eyes fixed on our every move… or feeling like we’re back at work.

Minamo: I know. Let’s get out of here before Mr. Kimura shows up.

Yukari: Koichi? We’re way ahead of them.


(Touya and Yukito reach another station. This time, as evidenced by the route market, it’s the correct one. Barnette waits in a small shuttle. She reacts as any natural woman would when approached by Touya & Yukito- she points her gun at them.)

Barnette: (defensive) What do you want?

(Touya and Yukito both jump back in shock. Yukito starts breathing heavily.)

Touya: We’re here to get to the, uh…

(Touya checks the clue.)

Touya: Nirvana.

(Barnette puts the gun down.)

Barnette: Right right… force of habit. C’mon.

(Yukito’s still reeling from the gun, so Touya helps Yukito get on board. He does, and the ship takes off.)


(Noboyuki and Tenchi are now walking slowly through the mission. They are less concerned with the hostile residents than they are with their clue.)
[NOBOYUKI & TENCHI- Currently in 4th Place]
Tenchi: Is there anything that tells us which station it is? There’s bound to be more than two.

Noboyuki: No idea, but we have to keep moving.

Tenchi: Dad, this isn’t the kind of place to be getting lost in. Let’s get to the right station and get out of here.

(Jessie and Ayla run up behind them, moving much faster. Tenchi stops and stands aside.)

Tenchi: (quietly) Just let them go.

(After taking a second look, Noboyuki stops and says nothing as Jessie and Ayla run by silently. Follow Jessie and Ayla.)

Ayla: Do you know where you’re going?

Jessie: I think so.

Jessie: It may not look like it, but we really are getting our payback. We’re doing it by scaring them to death. If they’re afraid of us they’re prone to errors, and we’ll be right there to capitalize off them.


(Mr. Kimura, his brother, his woman, and his woman’s brother have now shown up.)
[KOJI & KOICHI- Twin Brothers- 6th to Depart- 1:23 Behind Leaders]
Koji: Exit the Soyokaze and walk to the docking station at the Delta-6 mission.

(Koji and Koichi step off the mat. May and Max step on the mat. They all wait for a few seconds. Max checks his watch.)

Koichi: This is awkward.

(Koji rolls his eyes.)

Max: Time!

(May opens the clue.)
[MAY & MAX- Siblings- Last to Depart- 1:24 Behind Leaders]
May: Exit the Soyokaze and walk to the docking station at the Delta-6 mission.

(They all hustle off together.)

May: Now that wasn’t so bad, was it Koji?

Koji: Felt like a long thirty seconds, especially since we’re in last.

Koichi: Then let’s catch up to the other teams so we’re not in last anymore.

(They continue down the halls of the Soyokaze.)

Koichi: I don’t know what Koji was thinking when he jumped ahead of May and Max, and he refuses to tell me. He just says it’s common sense and that we couldn’t take chances. I know we were in last, but it was still a cheap stunt. I didn’t like it.


(Continuing down the halls, the inevitable issue comes up.)

Max: You know, it was kinda my fault too. Maybe if I had told you that it was a non-elimination leg, maybe you wouldn’t have reacted like that.

Koichi: Even so, I wasn’t sure if it was or not, but I wouldn’t have done it. I don’t want to have to compete with you.

May: We don’t want to compete with you either, Koichi, so we’re just going to forget about it for now. It’s all behind us.

Koji: Maybe, but none of the other teams are. We need to get moving.

Max: Right! Even if we’re not competing with each other, we are competing with everybody else.

(They rush down and Max and Koichi grab the clue at the docking station.)

Max: I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that Koji’s trying to get us eliminated or the fact that he doesn’t think we’re on to him. We told him it’s water under the bridge, and he drank that without flinching. The only one giving Koji a hard time is Koichi, which is perfect for us.


(Lina and Gourry rush out into a docking station… the wrong docking station.)

Lina: This should be it…

Gourry: What makes you say that?

Lina: It looks like the one we came in at.

(They continue to look around.)

Lina: So where’s the stupid flag?

Gourry: Not sure. Maybe they forgot it.

Lina: Or maybe we went to the wrong one again. Jeez… we’ve explored evil dungeons less complicated than this.

(Lina runs off. Gourry follows right behind.)

Gourry: We’re really used to charging into situations and relying on our skills to get us out of them. I don’t know if it’s just us, but that doesn’t seem to be a really good strategy here.


(Barnette and the shuttle pull back to the docking station. She gets out, but is only there for a few moments before Yukari and Minamo arrive.)
[YUKARI & MINAMO- Currently in 2nd Place]
Minamo: Are you the shuttle to the Nirvana?

Barnette: No, but I fly it. You’re just in time. Hop on.

(The teachers smile and board the ship.)

Yukari: Told you it was the one on the opposite end.

Minamo: It’s the most obvious spot.

(The ship is again off and flying towards the majestic Nirvana.)


(Onboard the Nirvana, Touya and Yukito reach the hangar bay. There are a series of mechas, and a series of ships in line nearby. Yukito takes a second to marvel at them as Touya retrieves the clue at the nearby route marker.)
[TOUYA & YUKITO- Currently in 1st Place]
Touya: Detour- Vanguard or Dread.


(In the hangar bay, stone-cold Meia Gisborn and geyser-hot Hibiki Tokai brief us.)
Hibiki: Alright, a Detour’s usually a choice between two tasks. But this time, they only have one job- blow something up!

Meia: They will have to do this with one of two mecha- the Vanguard or the Dread.

(File footage of Hibiki piloting his yellow Vanguard in space. The Vanguard is your classic giant robot.)

Hibiki: (VO) The Vanguard’s the pride of the Tarak fleet, so much that we borrowed a couple more for teams to fly. It’s user-friendly, sturdy, flies smoothly, and packs quite a wallop when you connect.

(Not since the Valkyries of Macross have we seen such a two-for-one deal, as Meia is seen demonstrating her Dread- a sleek fighter jet.)

Meia: (VO) Dreads, meanwhile, represent Mejale’s flying technology. It runs circles around the Vanguard but the controls are very touchy and takes some skill in order to understand them.

(Both the Vanguard and the Dread proceed to blow up a yellow asteroid-sized target.)

Hibiki: (VO) Whichever one a team chooses, they will have to fly out, and then find and destroy one of the targets surrounding the Nirvana to receive their next clue.


(Touya peruses the clue as Yukito looks around at the mechs- both well-represented.)

Touya: Yuki, should we take the stable one?

Yukito: If you don’t think it’ll slow us down too much.

Touya: I don’t care. I don’t want you to lose it while we’re getting used to the Dread.

Yukito: Vanguard’s fine, then.

(With the help of Meia, Hibiki, and some of the support staff, Touya and Yukito get situated in one of the Vanguards. Before taking off, Touya looks back to Yukito, sitting behind him.)

Touya: Are you ready?

(Yukito takes a deep breath, trying to hide his worry.)

Yukito: It’s not like I can run away from this.

(They are cleared for takeoff, and the Vanguard shoots out into space.)


(Jessie and Ayla are now sprinting through one of the corridors on Delta-6.)
[JESSIE & AYLA- Currently in 3rd Place]
Ayla: I hope you’re right about this.

Jessie: So do I.

(They reach the right docking station. Barnette smiles at both of them.)

Barnette: Welcome aboard. Hop on.

(They get on before Barnette does.)

Ayla: It would be nice if you left immediately.

Jessie: Yeah, we’ve got a couple guys on our tail and we want to make sure we stay ahead of them.

Barnette: Shadowed by a couple guys? You’ve got my sympathy, sis. Let’s rock.

(Barnette hops in and makes an extra-special effort to take off quickly.)


(Noboyuki and Tenchi are in the same corridor. Tenchi points.)
[NOBOYUKI & TENCHI- Currently in 4th Place]
Tenchi: There it is!

Noboyuki: Alright!

(They get there… no ship.)

Noboyuki: Isn’t there supposed to be a shuttle here?

Tenchi: Maybe it already has Jessie and Ayla.

Noboyuki: So they’re going to get way ahead of us.

Tenchi: If we would have tried to keep up with them, we could have shared the shuttle.

Noboyuki: I don’t think that would be such a good idea.

Tenchi: Maybe not, but trying to avoid them really cost us some time.

(They’re stuck sitting and waiting for the time being.)




(The shuttle is pulling up to the Nirvana. Jessie and Ayla take a look outside. Jessie smiles.)

Jessie: Yeah… now this is more like it.

Barnette: What year are you from?

Jessie: 5000?

Barnette: Wow, all the way back then? This trip must be something.

Jessie: It is now.

Ayla: You should see the groups from 2000.

Barnette: 2000? Wow, prehistoric.

Jessie: I know.

(Rather than landing in the hangar bay, Barnette lands at a drop-off point. Jessie and Ayla disembark quickly.)

Ayla: Thank you.

Barnette: Yep!

(Barnette closes the door and speeds back to Delta-6.)

Jessie: I think the hangar’s this way.

Ayla: What are you basing that on?

Jessie: It’s a hunch.

Ayla: Better than nothing.

(They jog off.)


(Yukari and Minamo reach the hangar bay. Minamo fetches the clue.)
[YUKARI & MINAMO- Best Friends / Teachers- 2nd at Detour]
Minamo: Detour- Vanguard or Dread.

Yukari: Please say this is the mecha flying one.

(Minamo reads through the clue.)

Minamo: This is indeed the mecha flying one. Do we want the giant robot or the fighter jet?


Minamo: The jet’s faster.

Yukari: Okay, never mind, let’s do that one. I’ll drive!

Minamo: Not if I can help it.

(Meia helps them into a Dread unit and gives them a few tips before they take off.)

Yukari: (VO) I have to admit one of the big reasons I wanted to do this thing was for the chance to fly a mecha. They’re just so cool.


(At the docking station on Delta-6, Noboyuki and Tenchi are still waiting for Barnette to return. Lina and Gourry show up first.)

Gourry: What’s going on here?

Tenchi: We’re waiting for the shuttle to pull in.

Noboyuki: Pretty sure this is the place

Lina: You got here before we did? Shoot, you started behind us, didn’t you?

Noboyuki: It gets worse- Jessie and Ayla beat us here.

Lina: So we’re in fifth now?! God I hate space.

Gourry: We can take this thing together, right?

Tenchi: Yeah, I guess so. You’re welcome to it.

Gourry: See, Lina, we’re not in fifth- we’re just tied for fourth.

Lina: Shut up, Gourry.

(Barnette arrives and both Noboyuki & Tenchi and Lina & Gourry board.)

Tenchi: (VO) I’ve had enough adventures to space to feel confident enough up here. But I really feel sorry for Lina and Gourry. This must be really foreign to them.


(Touya is moving steadily along in the Vanguard, frequently looking back to check on Yukito, who is calmly riding along in the backseat.)

Touya: Holding up okay?

Yukito: I’m fine. This is a good pace. Hey, there’s the target.

(Touya finds it, figures out how to get a missile lock on the target, and fires. The Vanguard stops in place as two missiles shoot out and obliterate the target. Touya turns on the intercom.)

Touya: Target destroyed. Vanguard 03 returning to base.

Yukito: Um, Touya? This is Vanguard 01.

Touya: My mistake.

(They steadily fly back, with Touya careful not to go too fast. They arrive back at the base and Touya takes the clue from Hibiki.)
[TOUYA & YUKITO- Best Friends / Students- Currently in 1st Place]
Touya: Run to the bridge and retrieve the clue from helmsman Bart Garsus’s work station.


(Rapid shots to the bridge, must more extravagant than the Soyokaze’s, and with plenty of room for all the crew. However, despite all this talk about Bart, all of the crew shown are female. Magno Vivan, or quite simply the Captain, explains.)
Captain: (VO) Teams must travel on foot to the bridge of the Nirvana. In order to get their next clue they will have to find our helmsman’s workstation. Bart’s at his post, and is ready to hand over the next clue.


(Jessie and Ayla approach Meia and a second Dread.)
[JESSIE & AYLA- Rivals- 3rd at Detour]
Meia: Doing the Dread?

Jessie: Of course.

Meia: Great. Hop in.

(They do so. Meia gives them the same pointers she gave Yukari and Minamo. Jessie take it all in.)

Meia: Did you get all that?

Jessie: Of course.

Meia: Okay, you can take off on my signal.

(Meia stands clear and the shield descends over the cockpit. Ayla looks around.)

Ayla: Do you know what you’re doing?

Jessie: I think so. I hope so.

Meia: (VO) Dread 2? You’re clear for takeoff.

Jessie: Here we go.

(She propels the ship forward and it cruises away. Jessie seems to have no trouble handling the controls.)

Ayla: Where did you learn how to fly this?

Jessie: I’m just going off the tips Meia gave us. The rest is just intuition.

(Ayla shakes her head, smiles, and enjoys the ride.)


(The intuition, however, is not coming to Minamo. She is having some problems steering it in the direction you want.)

Minamo: Jeez, one nudge and it turns ninety degrees.

Yukari: It’s not that hot out. Just nudge it when you need to turn.

Minamo: Okay, steady nerves… no movements.

Yukari: Or you could let me…

Minamo: (louder) Steady nerves!

(She controls it much better now. She takes a sigh of relief, and only moves her hands when it’s necessary to make a turn.)

Yukari: See, it’s just like driving.

Minamo: No it’s not. With this, you have to force yourself not to make little adjustments.

Yukari: Little adjustments? I just let the wheel do the talking.

Minamo: When was the last time you had your tires aligned?

Yukari: Uh… tires aligned? What does that do?

Minamo: Answers a few of my questions about your driving.

Yukari: Whatever- there’s the target. Smash it good!

Minamo: Roger.

(Minamo manages to calm down sufficiently enough to use the firepower necessary to shoot the target. They get cleared to go back.)


(Finally, Koji & Koichi and May & Max arrive at the docking station. The hatch is opening and Barnette is just starting to arrive. May sits down.)
[KOJI & KOICHI / MAY & MAX- Currently Tied in Last Place]
May: Man, that was a long walk.

Max: All those poor people stuck living here…

Koji: Suck it up, we’ve got to fly once we get onboard.

Koichi: Koji’s right. Whatever we’re doing on the Nirvana, we have to do it fast.

(Barnette opens the hatch, and both teams board. Koichi puts his hand on May’s back as they go in. The hatch closes and Barnette takes off.)

Koji: I can’t say they’ve been slowing us down too much, but it seems like it. I’d feel a lot better if it was just Koichi and I, but May and Max contribute just enough to be useful. Until I can find a credible reason to ditch them, they’ll have to stay.


(Hangar bay. Lina & Gourry and Noboyuki & Tenchi are in a mad dash for the route marker. Tenchi and Gourry get there at the same time, immediately followed by their partners.)
[NOBOYUKI & TENCHI / LINA & GOURRY- Currently Tied in 4th Place]
Tenchi: Detour.

Gourry: Vanguard or Dread.

(Lina takes the clue.)

Lina: Let me see that.

(Both teams separate and discuss it.)

Lina: Dread’s faster. Let’s do that one.

(While Lina and Gourry hunt down Meia, Noboyuki and Tenchi take a longer time to decide.)

Tenchi: The Dread’s faster, but the Vanguard’s easier to pilot.

Noboyuki: I’ve never piloted mecha before, so it’s your call.

Tenchi: I’m hardly an expert, Dad.

(Tenchi watches Lina and Gourry board their Dread.)

Noboyuki: Well, hurry up and make a decision!

Tenchi: Yeah, I don’t know about those Dreads. But I’m sure I wouldn’t have any trouble with the Vanguards.

Noboyuki: And besides, the Vanguards represent the men!

Tenchi: (sweatdropping) We’ll stick with my reason.

(They head over to Hibiki and get squared away as Lina and Gourry take off.)


(Kaboom! A target blows up cleanly and Jessie flies through the debut. She’s all smiles.)

Jessie: Now that was just fun.

Ayla: Unfortunately we have to return to the Nirvana now.

Jessie: I know, I know. Let’s see how fast we can get this thing.

(Ayla smiles as Jessie pulls a U-Turn, accelerates, and returns to base.)

Ayla: Jessie is only really happy when she is moving fast, so she really enjoyed being able to pilot the Dread. She is so accustomed to speed that she goes faster standing still than some people do in a full sprint.


(Yukari and Minamo successfully land their Dread and get their clue from Meia.)
[YUKARI & MINAMO- Currently in 2nd Place]
Yukari: Run to the bridge and retrieve the clue from helmsman Bart Garsus’s work station.

Minamo: (mocking) Ooh, according to the Pit Stop from last leg, it’s in the front of the ship!

(Yukari shakes her head and smiles.)

Yukari: It’s not funny when you do it.

(They both laugh and run off.)


(Of course, the bridge is at the front of the ship and Touya and Yukito have arrived there. They see the expansive control stations, but they are all manned by women.)
[TOUYA & YUKITO- Currently in 1st Place]
Touya: Okay… where’s Bart?

(The officers up front giggle, while the Captain and BC exchange knowing smiles. Touya approaches one of the officers… who is dressed as a cow, thus disguising her quite well.)

Touya: Are you Bart?

Celtic: Moo…

Touya: Well, are you?

Celtic: No! Do I look like Bart to you??

(He and Yukito walk by her.)

Touya: Sorry… jeez, don’t have a cow.

Yukito: Hey Touya! Look up here!

(Yukito follows Touya up to a strange-looking pool.)

Touya: I can’t see anything in there.

Yukito: I know. It’s worth a look.

(Touya kneels down and sticks a hand in.)

Bart: (OS) Hey!

(Touya quickly pulls back and looks at Yukito, who smiles. Touya plunges his whole head inside the pool. Inside, he sees a bald male, completely nude, trying to man the ship.)

Bart: Who are you?

Touya: Are you Bart?

Bart: Oh, do you need a clue?

(Bart hands Touya a clue.)

Bart: Now could you leave? This is my personal space, alright?

(Touya removes his head, which is not wet at all.)

Yukito: That was a little strange.

(Touya shakes it off and opens the clue.)

Touya: Find the marked Paksys station below deck, near the engine room.


(Rapid shots down to a catwalk that faces a huge array of glowing crystals. The only one who has any clue what this is Parfet Ballblair.)
Parfet: (VO) Teams must go below deck and find this catwalk near the Paksys- the Nirvana’s finicky power source.


(The final two teams arrive at the hangar bay. Koichi and Max get the clues.)

Koichi: Detour. Vanguard or Dread.

Max: Looks like we get to fly mecha now.

(Max deliberately holds out the enclosed Fast Forward envelope to make sure May sees it.)

May: What was that? Flying mecha?

Koichi: Yeah, we have to choose between…

May: Are you kidding me?! We can’t fly mecha!

(May starts to back away, growing hysterical.)

May: This has to be some joke. I mean, we’re just kids. Motorcycles maybe, but not giant robots out in space. What happens if we screw up…

(May continues to breathe heavily as Koichi tries to comfort her, to little avail.)




(In the hangar bay, May continues to panic. Meia is also nearby.)

Koji: May, the card says we have to do this.

May: But out there… in space??

Meia: (supportive) It’ll be fine. If you get into a fix, we can come out to help.

(Meanwhile, Jessie and Ayla’s Dread is landing. Hibiki looks over to the group.)

Hibiki: Meia, you’ve got a caller.

Meia: (to Hibiki, angry) Handle it!

Hibiki: Right…

(While Hibiki gives Jessie and Ayla their next clue, Meia continues to help May.)

Koichi: It’s going to be okay. We’ll all do this together.

Max: Yeah May, I’m sure we can…

(May shoots Max a really nasty glare. He silences himself immediately, smiles, and nods in understanding.)

May: No, no, I just don’t like this idea. It seems too dangerous.

Max: Well, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe we should just take the Fast Forward?

May: The Fast Forward? Are you sure?

(Max smiles, finally catching on.)

Max: We might as well. We have to use it sometime.

May: Is that okay with you, Koichi?

Koichi: Yeah. It’s probably for the best. We’ll see you at the Pit Stop.

May: Koji?

Koji: Fine, fine, but we need to make a decision now.

Max: (rushed) Great. Good luck guys, we’ll see you later.

(May and Koichi kiss quickly before they separate. Koichi joins Koji.)

Koji: Let’s do the Dreads. We can’t afford to be slow and steady now.

Koichi: Right.

(Meia helps them get set up.)

Koichi: I was surprised that May reacted that strongly against the Detour. I mean, yes we’re flying in space, but it’s no more dangerous than anything else we’ve done. She didn’t have any issue with flying in a paper airplane. It doesn’t bother me though. One of us using the Fast Forward isn’t the worst thing in the world at this point.


(May is still a little upset as she and Max leave the hangar. Jessie and Ayla run by them. May smiles at them.)

May: So how was it?

Jessie: Fun.

Ayla: Yeah.

May: See ya!

(Jessie and Ayla run by. Max smiles.)

Max: Wow May, I didn’t think you had that in you. And here I spent all that energy on Delta-6 trying to think of a way to get them out of our hair.

(May sighs.)

May: It’s a gift. But this better be worth it; we’re missing the chance to fly mecha because of you.

Max: I know, isn’t that a shame?

(Max opens the Fast Forward envelope.)

May: (VO) I’m sorry Koichi, but I had to do it. It was the only way we were going to get through this leg.


(The Dread Register looks more like a friendly help desk, with several lovely ladies at their posts ready to take your call. Gascogne Rheinau isn’t exactly lovely, but don’t say that to her face.)
Gascogne: There’s only one Fast Forward on each leg, and it’s the ultimate wild card. It lets one lucky team go straight to the Pit Stop. But each team can only use it once in the race, so they’ll need to pick the best time to lay this card down.

(Out in space, a large support ship is refueling a Dread unit.)

Gascogne: To get the Fast Forward on this leg, a team will have to assist me and the girls at the register as we stock ammo for pilot Jura’s Dread. It isn’t an easy job, but the most important thing- smile smile!


(One of the Dreads is flying chaotically, barely avoiding asteroids and space debree. Inside, Lina is getting frustrated while Gourry is getting motion sickness.)

Lina: Come on! I’ve tamed dragons faster than this!!

Gourry: That’s because you have a spell that destroys them!

Lina: Yeah, maybe that’s what this thing needs!

(Lina points a hand at the Dread control panel.)

Lina: Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond…

(Gourry grabs Lina’s arm and pulls it back, causing the ship to jerk around even more.)

Gourry: No magic, Lina!!

Lina: I was just going to threaten it!!

Gourry: Driving cars is foreign enough, but when you throw us into a machine that flies around in space, we are way out of our league. The fact that we picked the complicated one didn’t help either.


(In the less-complicated one, Tenchi is flying along at a solid pace. Inside, he is calmly moving forward.)

Noboyuki: Looking good, Tenchi! I can’t imagine anybody going faster in a Dread without losing control.

Tenchi: I think that’s the target.

Noboyuki: Yep. What do we have for weapons?

Tenchi: What don’t we have for weapons?

(Since it was developed on an all-male planet, the Vanguard has every artillery known to man. And unlike Touya, Tenchi isn’t afraid of unloading on the poor target. They return to base and receive their next clue from Hibiki.)
[NOBOYUKI & TENCHI- Father & Son- Currently in 4th Place]
Tenchi: Run to the bridge and retrieve the clue from helmsman Bart Garsus’s work station.

Noboyuki: All right! Good job, Tenchi.

(They head off.)

Tenchi: It’s been a bumpy trip, but I think the Detour helped bring us together again. I think I performed really well, Dad was back to being supportive instead of assertive, and we pulled ahead of Lina and Gourry by beating them the old-fashioned way. It was nice.


(May and Max arrive at smile central, where Gascogne gives them the 411.)
[FAST FORWARD- Smile Smile]
Gascogne: Welcome to the Register. You’ll have two jobs. First, you have to take Jura’s order before launching, and then you’ll have to tag along with me and go through a mid-air restocking.

May: Cool.

Max: Anything we have to know?

Gascogne: No… but you do have to look the part.

(Some of the other girls drag May away. Max takes a step after her, but Gascogne puts a hand on his shoulder.)

Gascogne: You might want to let her take the first part herself.

Max: Why?

Gascogne: You’ll see…


(Up at the bridge, Yukari and Minamo are searching for Bart.)

Yukari: This is definitely the bridge, so where the heck’s the helmsman?

(Jessie and Ayla arrive as well.)

Ayla: Is this the bridge?

Minamo: Yeah, but we’re still looking for Bart.

Yukari: Hey, what’s down at the end?

(The four women all look at the pool. Ayla kneels down, followed by the other three.)

Minamo: One way to find out…

(They all stick their heads in. Bart screams.)

Bart: (OS) GET OUT!!

(The four pull out, turn around, and stand up, all in shock.)

Jessie: I did not need to see that.

Yukari: Maybe it isn’t so bad being single…

Minamo: That’ll last me for awhile…

Ayla: Maybe we should warn May and Lina…

(Two clue envelopes fly out of the goop.)



(A video monitor turns on. Pictured is May, smiling brightly in a cute little waitress uniform, inspired by the Anna Miller franchise. She holds an order sheet.)

May: Hi! Welcome to the Register. You can find your easy-to-read menu on your console.

(Zoom out. The busty Jura Basil Elden looks at her menu.)

Jura: Thanks. I’ll just go with the usual. Basic A-set, with some ABMs on the side.

(May writes that down, then smiles again at Jura.)

May: We have a special today on sidewinders.

Jura: Hmm… tempting. Maybe later. I think I’m good.

May: Okay, your order will be right up!

(In the Register, May hands Gascogne the order sheet. Max tries not to laugh at May.)

Max: You forgot to ask if she’d like fries with that.

May: Shut up.

Gascogne: Okay, watch this…

(Jura’s Dread pulls up to the drive-thru loading station and the other girls do their thing and add her ordered ammo to her ship.)

Max: Cool…

Gascogne: That’s nothing…


(Touya and Yukito reach the catwalk. They try not to marvel at the Paksys too much as Yukito gets the clue.)
[TOUYA & YUKITO- Best Friends / Students- 1st at Road Block]
Yukito: Road Block. I assume you want it, Touya?

Touya: That’s fine.

Yukito: Okay, here we go.


(The bespectacled Parfet stands in the engine room near a few sets of smaller Paksys crystals.)
Parfet: A Road Block is a task that only one person can perform. In this one, they are going to have a make a few minor repairs to a broken machine and restore it to full operative status. The only catch is that these machines are powered by the Paksys, which often senses  positive or negative emotions and responds accordingly. In order for the machine to work right, the repair person has to make sure the Paksys stays in a good mood.


(Touya sits down to work with the machine. He turns one cog and it shoots sparks at him.)

Yukito: Relax Touya. Take your time!

(Touya takes a deep breath and gets ready for it.)

Touya: I think things could have been a lot harder. Yukito may not be able to compete, but he’s been very brave, and bore through any pain he’s been feeling. Not only that, but he was very supportive and made my job of picking up the slack a lot easier.


(Koji smoothly coasts through and destroys his target.)

Koichi: Nice move.

Koji: Steady nerves is all it takes.

(They fly back to base. Nearby, another target is destroyed… when Lina flies through it. Inside, she laughs.)

Lina: Now that’s the way to do it!!

Gourry: I thought we were supposed to shoot at it or something.

Lina: You can live by the book, I’m gonna win my own way.


(Another video screen. This time Max is sitting at a computer wearing a headset.)

Max: Refill station. How can we help you?

(Jura is flying around space as she orders.)

Jura: Let’s see, I think I’ll go with those sidewinders after all. Besides that, you can just top me off… and maybe some homing missiles for good measure.

Max: Okay! We’ll be there in twenty minutes or it’s on us!

(Jura giggles. End communication. Max hopes off the chair and delivers a printout to Gascogne. Gascogne walks off the premises.)

Gascogne: Come on, kids.

(They follow her to a command station, and a large, bulky, well-shielded ship. All three enter.)

Gascogne: Buckle up, time to make the delivery.

(The ship flies out into space. Midway through, she contacts Jura.)

Gascogne: We’re all set up here. Ready to go?

Jura: You bet!

(Jura flies in on her red Dread and pulls up underneath Gascogne’s ship. Gascogne draws it in and clamps it underneath, where it proceeds to restock everything.)

May: Wow! This is a lot better than delivering a pizza!

Gascogne: Yep! All compete, Jura!

Jura: Thanks a bunch, kids!

(Jura flies off. Gascogne returns to base. Once they get off the ship and return to the Register, all the girls bow to May and Max. Gascogne hands them the Fast Forward. May excitedly opens it.)

May: Congratulations you have won the Fast Forward. Check in at the next Pit Stop- Dita Liebely’s living quarters.

Max: I suppose you want to change first?

(May looks at her gawdy little get-up.)

May: Why? I kinda like this look.

Max: Hey, if it saves time, it’s all right by me.

(They run off, giving another wave to the Register girls.)

May: Besides helping us out in the race, the Fast Forward was a lot of fun. Gascogne was great to work with, and it was a nice break from all the action. I only hope Koichi and Koji get through everything.


(Rapid shots through the living quarters of the ship to Dita’s room.)
Satoshi: (VO) Having won the Fast Forward, May and Max can head directly to the Pit Stop- pilot Dita Liebely’s room. The last team to arrive here will be eliminated.


(Montage of Touya doing pretty much everything imaginable to the machine. However, through it all, he maintains a straight face, and doesn’t get up set when things don’t work.)

Yukito: (VO) The Road Block looked very difficult because Touya had to make sure he didn’t lose his cool. That’s not always easy for him. I know it’s difficult for me to be competitive in my state, but I think my support really helped him.

(Touya carefully replaces a panel and begins to screw it in.)

Yukito: Careful! Be gentle with it.

(Touya wraps up and presses a button on the side. The machine kicks into action and spits out a clue envelope. Touya takes it.)

Touya: Check in at the next Pit Stop- Dita Liebely’s living quarters.


(More rapid shots to Dita’s room.)

Satoshi: (VO) As I just said, teams must travel on foot to the housing quarters and find Dita’s room, the seventh Pit Stop in the race. The last team to arrive here will be eliminated.


(At the bridge, Noboyuki and Tenchi are urgently looking for Bart. Tenchi spies the pool and quickly runs up and sticks an arm in. Without too many questions, a clue is thrust into his hand. He reports back to his Dad.)
[NOBOYUKI & TENCHI- Currently in 4th Place]
Tenchi: Found it Dad!

Noboyuki: Good work, son! Where are we heading next?

Tenchi: Find the marked Paksys station below deck, near the engine room.

Noboyuki: Okay. Nobody directly ahead of us, nobody directly behind us… let’s try to hurry there anyway.

Tenchi: Right.

(They go off in search of lower ground.)

Noboyuki: Things are steadily improving between Tenchi and I. For a big chunk of the leg, we ended up more than ten minutes away from both the teams ahead of us and behind us. So there wasn’t much pressure and we could enjoy the game while still playing with some urgency.

(They continue running, alone, through the ship.)




(Yukari & Minamo and Jessie & Ayla are racing quite furiously through the halls. Jessie and Ayla begin to pull ahead, leading Yukari to make a sudden turn.)

Yukari: Nyamo! Over here!

(Minamo stops suddenly and turns.)

Minamo: What?

Yukari: An elevator!

(Yukari continues running, and almost runs over the railing and into the abyss below. However, it is technically an elevator she has found, although it’s just a platform and a pulley.)

Minamo: Nice! Where do we push the buttons?

Yukari: Um…

(Yukari sees a string and pulls it. The platform moves up. She takes the other one and pulls. The platform moves down.)

Yukari: No problem.

(Minamo goes to help as they rapidly descend. They reach a level where they get a very close look at the large Paksys, but there’s a small problem.)

Minamo: Uh… Yukari…

(Minamo points up and far away, at the route marker on the distant catwalk.)

Minamo: How are we supposed to get up there?

Yukari: Uh…

(Yukari tries to pull the other pulley up, but loses control of it and the platform begins falling. Minamo catches the first rope, barely keeping control.)

Minamo: You pull. I’ll guide this one up.

(They do so and are able to ascend.)

Minamo: (VO) We tried to use what looked like an elevator. Not a really smart idea.

(As she slackens the “down” pulley, she keeps an eye on the catwalk. The platform pulls even with it.)

Minamo: Stop.

(Yukari does so. They look at each other, still clinging their ropes.)

Yukari: Hold on…

(Yukari climbs a little higher than the floor.)

Minamo: What’s that for?

Yukari: Ready… one… two… three!

(Minamo gets the hint. She and Yukari simultaneously release their ropes and dive for the floor. They make it easily, although both fall to the ground. They slide around and watch the platform fall all the way to the bottom, crashing with a hideous clang. They shudder.)

Yukari: Maybe we’ll take the stairs next time.


(In the crew quarters, May and Max have to ask around, but finally find an open door. They step through and find Satoshi and ditzy pilot Dita Liebely standing near the mat in Dita’s room. The nearby route marker features the normal display, with “VANDREAD” in large green letters and “THE NIRVANA” in small white letters. May and Max step on, with Satoshi taking a good long look at May in the Register girl outfit. He smiles.)

Satoshi: You look pretty good in that.

May: I know. Fits me pretty well too.

Max: Makes you wonder if she would have kept the princess outfits Noboyuki and Tenchi had to wear.

Satoshi: In any event…

(Satoshi clears his throat and suddenly goes from perverse to serious.)

Satoshi: May and Max? You’re team number one.

(May and Max excitedly hug.)

Max: First place. I know it was because of the Fast Forward, but it’s still hard to believe. We’re really getting through this, and outlasting some really tough competition.


(Meanwhile, Jessie and Ayla rush down the stairs and easily access the catwalk. Jessie takes the clue.)
[JESSIE & AYLA- Rivals- Currently in 3rd Place]
Jessie: Road Block.

Ayla: Fire away, Jessie.

Jessie: Head to the engine room and repair a machine powered by the Paksys, a power source that responds to human emotion.

(Jessie runs rapidly to the room, where Parfet explains the details.)

Parfet: Once the machine works, and the Paksys is happy enough to power it, it will release your clue. Pick a machine and go to work!

Jessie: This will be a cinch.

(Jessie dives into a machine, quickly unscrewing the outer panel. Almost everything inside is either disconnected or connected to the wrong spot. After examining everything, she quickly begins to fiddle around inside. Above her, a small Paksys crystal starts to glow.)

Parfet: Ooh, it likes your enthusiasm.

Ayla: So do I, keep it up.


(Touya and Yukito walk around the crew quarters. They find Dita’s room and walk up to the Pit Stop mat.)

Dita: Welcome, aliens, to my room!!

Satoshi: (sweatdropping) Is that your greeting?

Dita: They’re aliens, and it’s my room, so yeah!

Satoshi: You didn’t say that to May and Max.

Dita: They only had one alien!

Touya: Excuse me…

Satoshi: Oh, right! Touya and Yukito, you’re team number two.


(Yukari and Minamo finally figure out how to get to the catwalk. Yukari gets the clue.)
[YUKARI & MINAMO- Best Friends / Teachers- Currently in 4th Place]
Yukari: Road Block. This person must deal with stubborn equipment.

Minamo: I’ll do it. You get angry when you run out of chalk.

(Minamo reads the clue.)

Minamo: Repair a machine powered by the Paksys. This doesn’t sound too bad.

(They run in. Jessie is still working on her machine. Parfet gives Minamo further details and Minamo goes to work.)

Yukari: You know what you’re doing right?

Minamo: I haven’t even picked up the screwdriver yet.

Yukari: You’ve never picked up a screwdriver? Man, are we screwed.

Minamo: Yukari, just shut up and let me do this.

(Minamo quickly unscrews and removes the panel. She accidentally sets it down on top of the screws. One rolls under the machine.)

Minamo: Shoot!

(Minamo extends a hand under the machine.)

Yukari: What are doing?! Forget it and get going!

Minamo: I can’t! If I lose this screw I can’t put the panel back on!

(Minamo retrieves it and sets the screws aside.)

Yukari: Nyamo! Your crystal’s getting dark.

Minamo: What?

(She looks up at her Paksys. The crystal is starting to dim.)

Minamo: I just started! How can it be fading away?! Crap…

(Minamo goes into the machine and examines everything.)

Minamo: Okay, one thing at a time…


(Koji and Koichi are jogging down the corridor.)
[KOJI & KOICHI- Twin Brothers- Currently in 6th Place]
Koichi: The bridge has to be up here somewhere.

Koji: It’s not like we can stop now. We have to move if we want to stay ahead of Lina and Gourry.

(Koichi turns around. Lina and Gourry are rapidly approaching.)

Koichi: Here they come!

(The twins increase their speed, but Lina and Gourry are just faster. Once their by, Koji and Koichi continue to run after them.)

Koji: At least with May and Max around, we’ve got somebody to be behind with us.

(Koichi doesn’t respond. He’s too busy fighting for survival.)

Koji: This leg made me realize just how valuable May and Max were. Last leg was one thing, but it really would have been to our advantage to stick together until we hit a situation where only they or us will move on. Because it would be us nine out of ten times.


(Lina and Gourry get to the bridge and start asking around for Bart.)

Lina: So where is this guy? This is the bridge, right?

(The Captain and BC aren’t saying anything, so Lina and Gourry head down to the other officers as Koji and Koichi arrive. They look around.)

Koichi: Lina, did you find Bart?

Lina: (sarcastic) Yeah, we just decided to stick around and chat.

(Gourry heads up to one of the girls.)

Gourry: Are you Bart?

Beverly: Do I look like a Bart?

Gourry: I don’t know. Is Bart a boy’s name or a girl’s name?

Amarone: It’s a stupid name.

Bart: (OS) No it isn’t!

(Lina, Koji, and Koichi all look to the source of the voice. Koji sprints towards it and jumps into the pool. Inside, his clothes have mysteriously vanished, and Bart does not like the company.)

Bart: This is getting worse every time!

(Bart hands Koji a clue and shoves him out. Koji flies out of the pool; his clothes back on again. Koichi runs up to him.)

Koichi: Koji, what happened?!

Koji: (delirious) Fusion… evolution…

Koichi: Well, you’ve got the clue, so let’s go.

(Koichi helps Koji to his feet and they run off. Lina quickly follows by plunging in. Both Lina and Bart scream as the other bridge officers look at each other nervously.)

Amarone: Now that’s just not right.

(Celtic is shuddering.)

Celtic: You guys had it easy… I had the vidlink up.

(Beverly pushes a button at her station.)

Beverly: Sick bay? Celtic needs shock treatment.


(Jessie calmly screws her panel back on. She pushes the button, the Paxsys glows, and she gets her clue.)

Jessie: Perfect.

(She takes it and reads.)

Jessie: Check in at the next Pit Stop- Dita Liebely’s living quarters. The last team to arrive will be eliminated.

(She and Ayla wordlessly grab their bags and take off. Yukari watches them, then turns to Minamo.)

Yukari: C’mon Nyamo, the amazons just got done.

Minamo: I’m doing the best I can!

(As Minamo continues to struggle, Noboyuki and Tenchi run in.)

Noboyuki: It’s all yours, Tenchi. I’ll just sit back and let you fly.

Tenchi: Thanks. Which one should I take?

(Parfet leads Tenchi to his machine.)

Minamo: Is that Tenchi?

Yukari: Yeah, you’ve got to get moving!

Minamo: Jeez…

(She’s sweating quite heavily as she tries to figure out a few key connections.)

Jessie: I’m not too bad at repairing stuff, but staying calm is really tough in this situation. The inside of that machine was more of a puzzle than anything else, but there were some tough spots. I don’t remember the details; it was just another blur of adrenaline to me.


(Minamo finally replaces the panel and begins screwing it back in. In the meantime, Tenchi is ripping through his contraption, making Yukari very nervous. Meanwhile, “nurse” Paiway Underberg stops in to bug Parfet.)

Parfet: What are you doing here?

Pai: On my way to the bridge to help a shock case.

Parfet: The bridge is nowhere near here.

(Pai holds up her annoying frog puppet at Parfet.)

Pai: I guess we’re not very good at directions-kero.

Minamo: Done!

(Minamo presses the button. However, it doesn’t do anything.)

Minamo: What the?! I got it! It should work!

Parfet: Paxsys doesn’t want to go.

Minamo: C’mon! Please?

Yukari: Dammit, Nyamo, calm down!

Minamo: Calm down yourself! You’re the one making me so antsy!

(Pai starts writing something down in a notebook.)

Pai: Internal hostility… Pai check!

(Tenchi finishes up quickly. He pushes the button and sighs. Paxsys glows and he gets his clue.)

Tenchi: Got it!

Noboyuki: Way to go!

(They run off and are well out of earshot before they open the clue.)

Parfet: You have to calm it down. You’re making Paxsys nervous.

Minamo: How am I supposed to calm this thing down?

Parfet: Figure it out. It has to be in a good mood.

Minamo: Any good mood?

Parfet: Yeah.

Minamo: Screw it then…

(Minamo turns to the crystal, lifts her shirt, and flashes the stupid thing. Paxsys glows for a split second. Minamo jabs the button and the clue spits out. Yukari and Parfet sit there in stunned silence. Finally, Minamo runs back to Yukari.)

Minamo: C’mon before we get eliminated.

Yukari: You’ve done that before, haven’t you?

Minamo: C’mon! If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have had to resort to that.

(They take off, leaving Parfet and Pai. Parfet cleans her glasses as Pai rewinds her camera.)

Pai: Pai… check!


(Jessie and Ayla reach Dita’s room and urgently step on the mat.)

Dita: Welcome, friends of Mejale, to Dita’s room!

Satoshi: I’m not gonna ask… Jessie and Ayla you’re team number three.


(Koji and Koichi barely stay ahead of Lina and Gourry as they reach the catwalk. Koji grabs a clue and runs by to let the team behind get there.)

Koji: Road Block: this person must deal with stubborn equipment.

Koichi: Why don’t you do it?

Koji: Fine.

(Koji quickly peruses the details and heads to the engine room. Lina and Gourry follow.)

Lina: I’ve got this one. Try not to say anything stupid.

(Parfet explains the rules to both of them and they get going. Lina heads to her machine.)

Lina: Okay, let’s see what we got here…

(Lina picks up a screwdriver.)

Lina: What are we supposed to do with this?

Parfet: Open the panel on the machine.

Lina: Ah!

(Lina wedges the screwdriver in and pulls. In time, she forcibly pries the panel off.)

Parfet: (sweatdropping) Not what I had in mind.

Lina: What the hell is all this stuff?!

(Lina sticks her head in and looks around. She shakes her head.)

Lina: Damn, this is going to take forever.

(As she moans about it, Koji quietly analyzes the machine and calmly goes to work. As he does so, he hears a clanging sound. He pops his head out long enough to see Lina, trying to force a pipe in where it obviously doesn’t go.)

Lina: Jeez, who made this so complicated?!

(Koji says nothing. He just pops his head back in as Lina continues to swear at her machine.)

Lina: (VO) With everything I do, I do it with a certain style. It’s my own method of getting the job done, and it’s extremely effective. But that stupid Paxsys machine just didn’t like me for some reason!! It obviously had some sort of prejudice against me and I didn’t want to have anything to do with it.


(Noboyuki and Tenchi pull up at Dita’s room and jump on the mat.)

Dita: Welcome, aliens, to my room.

Noboyuki: Hear that, Tenchi? We’re the aliens now!

Satoshi: Noboyuki? Tenchi? You’re team number four.

Noboyuki: That’s the stuff!

(Noboyuki high-fives his son.)

Tenchi: That seemed like a lot of work to not go anywhere.

Noboyuki: Hey, we didn’t move down either!

Tenchi: That’s true.

(They step out of the way. A couple minutes later, a somewhat upset Minamo and Yukari jump on the mat.)

Satoshi: Yukari and Minamo? You’re team number five.

Minamo: Jeez… we suck.

Yukari: I wasn’t the one doing the Road Block.

(Minamo sighs and walks away.)


(Back to the Road Block. Lina is going like gangbusters through the machine, throwing around parts like crazy. Koji is quietly going about his business.)

Lina: Okay, here we go, this obviously goes here, and we string that along to here, blow open a hole here and stick this one in…

(Lina pops her head out and sees a burnt chard of metal on the ground.)

Lina: Here it is.

(Lina picks it up and wedges it in somewhere. She takes a long look at the device.)

Lina: Perfect.

(Lina takes the badly-mutated panel and puts it on. It doesn’t stay on.)

Lina: Um…

(She tries again. Again it falls off. Meanwhile, Koji wordlessly screws his own panel back on. Lina takes the screwdriver and pounds the panel into place.)

Lina: Hey, this thing works great!

(Koji stands up, and pushes the button on the machine. The Paksys roars into action and delivers the clue.)

Koichi: Good work, Koji! Where are we off to?

Koji: Check in at the next Pit Stop- Dita Liebely’s living quarters.

Koichi: We’ll ask around.

(They take off, leaving Lina and Gourry behind.)

Gourry: Um… Lina?

Lina: I know, I know. This should work…

(Lina is agitated, and also a little nervous as she pushes the button. It’s no wonder that it doesn’t respond.)

Lina: Crap! I knew I forgot something!

(Lina forces the panel off yet again and looks around in there.)

Lina: No I didn’t. It should work okay.

(She pounds the panel back on and pushes the button, again to no avail.)

Lina: Well, what the?

Parfet: I don’t think it liked you beating it around so much.

Lina: The hell was I supposed to do?

Parfet: Be gentle. Nurturing. Love the machine.

Lina: I don’t love machines, honey. Make this thing spit it out.

(Parfet looks at it.)

Parfet: Given what you did to it, I don’t know if it works at all.

Lina: Well come on! We’re already in last place! If you don’t hurry up, there’s no way in hell we’re going to keep up with those two!!

(Lina looks over to Koji’s machine. They are long gone.)

Lina: Gourry? Where are the twins?

Gourry: Just left.

Lina: Why didn’t you tell me?!

(As Lina argues with Gourry about that, Parfet does a quick overview of the machine. Or at least she would if she could get the panel open. Lina reaches for the screwdriver and hands it to Parfet.)

Lina: Here.

(She goes back to arguing with Gourry as Parfet pries open the panel and looks inside.)

Parfet: Ah… you got all the wiring right, but some of these ends are so frayed that they don’t work right anymore.

Lina: So what are we supposed to do?!

Parfet: Hmm…

(Parfet has to make some calls to talk it over. Finally, she just hands over the clue.)

Gourry: (VO) They seemed to have everything really organized up here. They just didn’t account for Lina doing things her way. She gets the job done… she just doesn’t care how.


(In the meantime, Koji and Koichi have no trouble reaching Dita’s room.)

Koichi: You really saved us there, Koji.

Koji: Stay calm and it’s no trouble.

(They step on the mat.)

Satoshi: Koji? Koichi?

(He pauses and stares at each of them to add to the drama.)

Koji: Don’t bother. We know where we are.

Satoshi: Fine, fine… you’re team number six.

(They nod.)

Koichi: Let’s go see what May and Max were up to.


(After trudging across the ship, Lina and Gourry reach the Pit Stop.)

Dita: Friend and alien alike- welcome to my room!

Satoshi: Lina and Gourry?

(He pauses again and stares at each of them to add to the drama.)

Lina: (aggravated) Don’t bother, we know where we are.

Satoshi: You’re the last team to arrive. Sorry, but you’ve been eliminated from the race.

(Lina shakes her head, pretty disappointed with herself.)

Lina: (VO) You get used to doing things a certain way, and suddenly somebody wants you to do it differently. It isn’t just about that Road Block either, trying to get through this race without using my magic was a lot more difficult than I let on.

Gourry: You might have to take our word for it, but we are both really good at what we do. We just… have our own way of doing it. Which really didn’t translate that well here.

Lina: I’m not angry at getting eliminated. In fact, it’s actually a bit of relief. If I was going to have to keep going and restraining myself until my hair turns white, I would have gone nuts. Getting to see new worlds and doing different things was pretty cool, but in the end I’m happier where I can just be me.

End of Episode Seven


Author’s Notes
If something felt a little weird about this leg, you’re pretty perceptive. This leg had an extreme lack of “bunching,” parts of the leg where teams are bunched together before getting access to a clue (typically done through public transportation or waiting for something to open). I’ve been doing my best to limit the bunching as much as I can without taking the competitiveness out of the race (too much bunching and leads don’t mean anything; too little and teams are spread too far apart for the race to be interesting). While every leg has had partial bunching where some teams are grouped together, the last leg was the first to even everything completely. Because of that, and the fact that it was non-elimination, this leg had almost no bunching and teams could only gain or lose spots based on their actual racing skills.

The voice actor references were fairly limited, with only the “Misty, Ash, Brock” reunion during the Pit Stop and Touya and Yukito’s blatant Evangelion reference (refer to episode 4 author notes if you don’t get it). Incidentally, I’ve realized this leg that between Touya and Yukito’s voice actors, both English and Japanese, references are getting way too easy for these guys, particularly considering that Touya and Yukito share English voice actors with other racers (Touya and Seta are voiced by pseudonyms of Kirk Thornton, Yukito and Koji are voiced by Steve Staley). In fact, one of the easiest references could have come during the Touya/Bart exchange- Touya and Bart have the rare distinction of being two characters with the same English and Japanese seiyuu!

Unless my memory is failing me, Yukari’s “Giant Robo, I choose you!” line may be the first official “This is Otakudom” reference this season. The line comes from an over-dubbed scene of Giant Robo and used in a montage to show how anime companies are changing series to make them more like Pokémon. Also in the montage is Kuno and Kodachi impersonating Team Rocket and Urusei Yatsura’s Ataru trying to “catch” Lum.

Why is Bart naked in a pool in the bridge? One of the quirks of the Nirvana is that the only way to fly it is for Bart to essentially bio-merge with it. Digimon rip-off? I have no idea, but Vandread’s produced by the same company that does Gate Keepers, and there’s no shortage of Digimon connections in either of them, especially since both the dub and sub share quite a few seiyuu.

And while there’s no sense trying to explain Paiway, it’s fair to say that “kero” is the Japanese onomatopoeia for ribbit, and is attached to the ends of sentences just like Dejiko (-nyo) and the Japanese Biyomon (-piyo). While this “kero” news may enlighten any Hello Kitty fans, I may have ruined Cardcaptor Sakura for a lot of you.

Next Time on the Anime-zing Race
- May & Max consider another alliance to help retain their lead.
- A frustrated Minamo tries to put last leg’s Road Block difficulties behind her.
- Koji & Koichi clash about their post-alliance racing strategy.