Tai Kamiya Presents “Gatekeepers”

Episode Fifteen- New Year, Old Plot!

(Tai is standing behind a desk at the studio, on the phone with somebody.)
Tai: Yeah, I know I haven’t talked to you in five years, and I know you live in Thailand now. But I need somebody to be in my little show.

(Sora is watching as Tai continues the conversation.)

Tai: Uh huh… okay, that’s fine. Look- it was nice talking to you. And I want you to remember something- I never stopped loving you.

(Sora continues to watch as Tai finishes the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Sora: Hey, Tai, what…

(Sora’s interrupted by the phone ringing again. Tai answers.)

Tai: Hello… yes this is…

(Tai suddenly turns angry.)

Tai: What do you mean the restraining order’s still in effect??!! It was just a phone call!

(Pause. Tai sighs.)

Tai: Okay, okay, be at the courthouse Thursday. Got it.

(Tai hangs up.)

Sora: Old girlfriend?

Tai: Why do I suddenly feel like crying?

(Tai snaps his fingers, uplifted.)

Tai: I know!

(Tai dials a number. Sora observes, although Kari joins her.)

Tai: Hey, Sandra? It’s me Tai!


Tai: Yeah, listen, I need a girl for a project that I’m directing. It’s a television series and…

(Tai listens.)

Tai: What do you mean you aren’t falling for that again?

(Tai listens again. His eyes burst open and he starts to blush.)

Tai: (sheepish) Is there any place I can rent that? …Hello? Hello??

(Tai hangs up the phone and turns to Sora.)

Tai: Must have been on a cell phone and went under a tunnel.

Kari: What are you doing?

Tai: Well, I told you that this episode was about Matt, right?

Kari: Yeah. None of us can figure it out either.

Tai: I just looked at the script. Matt, apparently, has a love interest.

Kari: Oops. Probably regretting the whole “Matt plays a girl” idea now, huh Tai?

Tai: No kidding. Now I have to find a girl anyway.

Sora: Did you check the third season?

Tai: Nothing there. Unless Rika’s Mom…

Rika: (OS) NO!!

Tai: Third season’s out. I just can’t believe we’re out of digi-destined already. I could have sworn that we had some in reserve.

Kari: What? For Matt’s love interest.

Tai: For anything!

(Kari and Sora eye each other, then smile.)

Sora: Oh… there’s one left.

Tai: Uuh… Mimi?

Kari: She’s the secretary.

Tai: Oh yeah.

Sora: We know who can be Matt’s love interest.

(Sora and Kari step closer to Tai, still smiling.)

Tai: What… one of you two wanna take another role?

(Sora and Kari shake their heads.)

Kari: There’s one digi-destined you haven’t used yet!

Sora: I’m sure he’d love to get in on the action!

Tai: Who? I mean, the only digi-destined that hasn’t been in the show is…

(Tai looks at both of them, smiling evilly.)

Tai: Oh no… oh no!!

Sora: After making me an airhead, I think it’s only fair!

Kari: It’s okay Tai, there’s nothing wrong with it- don’t fight the feeling!

Tai: (moping) This could be a long day…

Episode Twenty- Leap Into the New Year!

(The streets of the city. Matt is marching through them angrily, clutching something in his fist. Matt stops and stamps his foot.)
Matt: I’m too pissed to think up a line to cue the flashback!

(Cue the flashback- Matt is tending bar in what used to be TK’s room. Mom walks in.)

Mrs. Takaishi: I just got a package from TK.

Matt: Why? New Year’s is only in a couple days.

Mrs. Takaishi: That’s just it. He said he’s so busy with stuff at school that he can’t come home for New Year’s. He’ll be staying at the dorms or something.

Matt: But… without him or Dad, it doesn’t seem like a family anymore!

Mrs. Takaishi: You’re telling me. Check out the present he sent.

(Mrs. Takaishi sets it on the table. It’s a shot glass with a little AEGIS logo on it.)

Matt: He’s skipping New Year’s with his family and all he sent was this lousy shot glass?!

Mrs. Takaishi: Well… we did turn his room into a bar.

Matt: No excuses!!

(End flashback. Matt is continuing to walk through the streets.)

Matt: Stupid TK. He thinks he can skimp out of spending time with Ma. No way he’s leaving it all to me!

(He passes a figure in the streets, and stops immediately upon seeing the person’s face.)

Tai: (mocking song) Matt’s playing a gi-rl!

Matt: So what?!

Tai: I dunno… it’s just so much fun to say.

Matt: Shut up Tai! You know, I only agreed to this because…

Tai: Uh Matt… we’re in character. I am no longer the director. I am now playing Takeshi Ikeda, the annoying classmate of Saemi Ukiya… TK’s little sister.

Matt: What do you want, Tai?

(Tai notices that Matt has something in his fist.)

Tai: What’s that?

Matt: What’s what? This?

(Matt shows Tai the shot glass.)

Tai: What’s that for? Going drinking tonight? Cool- I’ll join you!

(Matt pulls the glass away.)

Matt: I’m not going drinking! I’ve got a bar at home, you know. I can drink whenever I want.

Tai: Oh yeah, you put a bar in after your brother ran away.

Matt: TK didn’t run away. He just left…

(Matt looks at the shot glass, holding it as if it had some serious value to it.)

Tai: Let me see that thing.

Matt: Get your own!

(Tai goes up towards it. Matt pulls the hand away, but Tai hits the hand anyway, sending the shot glass out of Matt’s hand. It smashes on the ground.)

Tai: Oops.

(Matt stares at the shattered glass.)

Tai: Gotta run!

(Tai runs off. Matt shakes his head and continues walking.)


(The school. Since it’s a holiday, there’s nobody there. The halls are empty and not a soul is in sight. Except, of course, for Ryo.)
Ryo: Hm… I don’t see what all the fuss is about.

(Cyberdramon enters the hall. Ryo turns to his partner.)

Ryo: Did you find the bathroom alright?

(Cyberdramon shakes his head, indicating the negative.)

Ryo: The custodians are going to have an awful surprise when these kids get back to school, then.

(Cyberdramon sniffs the air, then runs off angrily. Ryo shakes his head.)

Ryo: Uh oh…

(Elsewhere in the school, Matt is inside a classroom.)

Matt: Ah… I remember this. The uncomfortable seats, the boring extracurriculars, the bad food, the clock that seems to go backwards. Why the hell is TK so distracted by all this anyway? Can’t even come home for New Year’s? Something funny’s going on.

(Matt hears a pounding at the other end of the door. He’s somewhat startled, but walks over to the door.)

Matt: Yeah?

(He hears some snarling. Matt cautiously opens it. Cyberdramon is on the other side, and looking particularly menacing.)

Matt: Uh… are you the class pet?

(Cyberdramon lashes out and tries to bite Matt’s head off. Matt dodges out of the way. Cyberdramon enters the room to attack, but Matt sneaks out of the door just in time. Cyberdramon turns around and continues to pursue Matt. Matt starts to back away, and bumps into Ryo.)

Ryo: Cyberdramon- stop playing with him.

(Cyberdramon stops, and sits down, staring at Matt the whole time.)

Matt: He’s just playing with me?

Ryo: Well… he was playing with you. When he gets tired of playing, he tends to get a little… hungry.

(Matt nods, missing the point completely.)

Matt: Oh- cool!! Is he your Digimon?

(Ryo shifts his eyes back and forth.)

Ryo: He’s an ermine.

(Cyberdramon sniffs the air again, and begins to look feral again.)

Matt: What’s a matter, boy?

(Cyberdramon runs off.)

Ryo: Oh boy… here we go again…

(Matt and Ryo chase after the Digimon.)

Matt: (sarcastic) Is the ermine taking us to where Timmy fell into the well?

Ryo: He’d only do that if he thought Timmy tasted good with some Perrier.


(At the principal’s office, Joe and Mimi are with TK, Kari, Yolei, Sora, and Cody.)
Joe: Unfortunately, saving the world is a year-round position, and the Invaders don’t take holidays.

Mimi: Actually, surveillance indicates that the Invaders do celebrate New Year’s.

Joe: Really?

Mimi: Yep! Every June 3rd!

Joe: That doesn’t help our situation. Basically, gang, we’re stuck working.

(They hear a commotion outside.)

Mimi: What the? Most normal people would be out of this cesspool for the holidays.

(Matt enters.)

Matt: Don’t mind us, we’re just taming ourselves a… TK! Hey! How’s it going!

TK: Matt? What the heck are you doing here?

Matt: Why was it? Oh yeah…

(Matt walks up and punches TK in the face. Kari looks outside and sees Ryo using his whip thing on Cyberdramon, restraining him.)

Kari: Ryo! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you here?

Ryo: Three magical words Kari… dues ex machina.

Sora: Oh! This is the weird-talking guy you told us about!

(Sora walks up to Ryo.)

Sora: Hi! Wow! Deus ex machina- that must be some weird fancy proverb that dates back centuries ago. What does it mean? Oh- I bet it means “death without resurrection!”

(Ryo stares at Sora blankly.)

Ryo: Actually it means…

Cody: Excuse me!

(Everybody looks at Cody.)

Cody: (pointing) Over there…

(Matt is still beating the crap out of TK.)

Matt: You were going to skip New Year’s??!! You know Mom always needs someone to watch Dick Clark with her! Don’t you love us anymore??!!

(Matt slugs TK another one.)

TK: (moaning) Joe… little help…

Joe: Um… please don’t hurt the main character. If you want, you can beat up Cody.

(Matt gets up.)

Matt: But it’s not the same…

(Kari and Yolei help TK up.)

TK: Anyway, I really am busy. It’s no excuse.

(Matt looks at Kari… then at Yolei… then at Kari again… then back to Yolei. He smiles.)

Matt: Oh! Why didn’t you say so?! Cool- you’re three years younger than me and already you’re trying to score!

Joe: Hm… on second thought, perhaps it would be best if you all took some time off.

TK: Wow! That would be great! Thanks Commander!!

Matt: Hold on… did you just call him Commander?

Joe: Uh… that’s my name… Joe Commander.

Matt: Oh… cool.

TK: So we seriously can go back home for a week?

Joe: Eh, sure. If we get attacked, they’ll probably be stupid and attack your homes instead of someplace important.

Kari: But wait a minute- my parents went to Hawaii for the week and they locked me out of the house.

Yolei: Oh yeah, and I already made up some lie about me visiting my long-lost grandmother who doesn’t have access to a telephone. They actually bought it, but now my crafty lie is going to go to waste.

(Matt smiles.)

Matt: You know… if you two ladies are looking for a place to stay, you can always crash at the Takaishi slash Ishida residence.

(Kari and Yolei look at each other, shrug, and turn to Matt.)

Kari/Yolei: All right!

(Matt pumps a fist in silent celebration.)

Matt: Well, after you…

(Kari and Yolei start to walk out. Matt picks up a still-woozy TK.)

Matt: (whispering) By the way… we fixed the condom machine.

(TK shakes his head.)

TK: Um… swell…

(TK and Matt follow the girls. Matt sees Ryo and Cyberdramon.)

Matt: Hey! You coming too?

Ryo: Who? Me?

Matt: Yeah! Bring the ermine! He’ll be a blast!

(Ryo looks up at Cyberdramon.)

Ryo: (mystical) Not every day brings the end of the world. But this thing called “tomorrow” is never set in stone. One day there may be no tomorrow. So live every day as if it was your last.

Matt: Uh… come again??

(Ryo turns around.)

Ryo: I accept your invitation. Cyberdramon!

(Matt, Ryo, and Cyberdramon exit the halls, leaving a totally confused Cody waiting inside and watching.)

Cody: Wha… wha… don’t we get invited? Don’t we get to be part of the plot?!

Sora: This minor character bit is more punishing than expected.

Cody: Now I have to attach myself to another subplot to make sure I stay in the episode.

Sora: Cool! I’ll join you!

(Cody and Sora walk out. Sora puts a reassuring hand on Cody’s shoulder.)

Sora: Besides… it could be worse.

Cody: How so?


(Down in the robot hangar, Izzy and Davis are freezing to death, eating cold ramen.)
Izzy: Aw, this ramen is terrible…

Davis: Hey! Don’t dis the ramen. I made it, remember?

Izzy: So what?

Davis: I put my heart and soul into this ramen!

Izzy: Davis, you got this ramen for ten cents a pack at Piggly Wiggly! I don’t see how it takes a culinary master to make these.

Davis: Well it does when you have to cook using the lighter on the Toyota.

Izzy: Just remember that it’s your fault we’re stuck here anyway. Didn’t you say we’d get to see the girls in kimonos?

Davis: Well, we spent Christmas together… I was assuming it would be the same deal with New Year’s.


(In the Takaishi kitchen, Yolei and Kari are attempting to help Mrs. Takaishi cook. Kari is doing so because she wants to. Yolei is doing so because she wants to score with TK. Outside, Matt is “playing” with Cyberdramon.)
Matt: Okay… roll over!

(Cyberdramon does so… in mid-air.)

Matt: Wow- he does tricks!! Play dead!!

(Cyberdramon holds out his left arm, which begins to disintegrate into random bits of data.)

Ryo: Hey! No! Don’t do that!

(The arm regenerates. Ryo turns to Matt.)

Ryo: That one’s kind of confusing. Cyberdramon! Sit! Sit!

(Cyberdramon does so, crashing to the ground.)

Ryo: Stay…

(Cyberdramon stares menacingly at TK as he walks by. TK screams and runs off.)

Ryo: Good boy. That deserves a cyber-snack.

Matt: He gets snacks.

Ryo: Of course… ready to catch it??

(Cyberdramon nods. Ryo pulls a Mushroomon out of nowhere and hurls it at Cyberdramon, who clamps into it with his jaws and proceeds to devour it.)

Matt: Cool…

(Back in the kitchen, Mrs. Takaishi, Yolei, and Kari are still cooking.)

Mrs. Takaishi: So much food to make.

Kari: That’s why we’re here!

Mrs. Takaishi: Really, girls, you don’t have to help. You’re guests.

Yolei: Nonsense! We’re both actually trying to hook up with you’re son.

Kari: Speak for yourself, I’m just trying to stay as far away from Ryo’s ermine as possible.

Yolei: What’s with that Ryo kid anyway? He’s… weird.

Kari: This is nothing. You should have seen him when TK and I were up at Mount Daisetsu in episode ten.

Yolei: Wait… wasn’t that the episode where we got the day off?

Kari: Yeah… everyone except TK and I. Believe me, he was a lot weirder back then. And that ermine of his gives me the willies.

(Yolei is quietly sulking.)

Yolei: How is it that she always gets episodes alone with somebody but I never do…


(Back to Matt and Ryo. Cyberdramon has curled up and is sleeping at Ryo’s feet, so TK decides that it’s safe to join them.)
Matt: You know, I’m jealous of you Ryo.

Ryo: Jealousy… the one emotion, above all others, that drives man to think they are never sated.

(Ryo stops, and turns to Matt.)

Ryo: (disbelieving) Wait- jealous of me??

Matt: Yeah. You’re quiet, you spout a bunch of weird non-existential crap, and you’ve got a kick-ass Digimon. You’re cool.

Ryo: (pondering the word) Cool…

Matt: Exactly. Cutting edge trendy. Soon every kid on the block will want an ermine just like yours.

(TK stands up and walks inside.)

TK: Ma, we’re moving!!


(That night, Kari, Yolei, and TK are asleep in TK’s bar. Behind the counter, Ryo and Matt are both sloshing drunk, each with a wine cooler in a hand.)
Ryo: Man… this is great… this… right here… it’s life. Proof of existence…

Matt: (laughing) How can you do all that existench…exi… eggs benedict stuff while you’re hammer… ham… ham and cheese like that?

Ryo: I dunno… Heya, are we gonna wake BJ and the girls up?

Matt: You mean TK?

Ryo: Didn’t I say BJ?

Matt: Whatever, they’re out. They’re gone… they’re…

Ryo: Devoid of thought, mired in subconscious… dreaming subtle lives instead of living subtle dreams.

Matt: (in awe) Wow… I don’t get you just said…

Ryo: What did I just say?

Matt: I dunno.

Ryo: Neither do I!

(Ryo leans his head back and hits a book.)

Ryo: Hey, what’s that doing back here?

Matt: Hmm… it’s a photo album.

(Ryo pulls it out and opens it. It’s filled with pictures of TK and Matt as babies.)

Matt: Hey, if you’re gonna look through that, skip the baby pictures.

Ryo: How much is baby pictures?

(Matt flips towards the very back of the book, flipping the mass of pages on Ryo’s hand. Ryo pulls his hand out in momentary pain.)

Ryo: Wow… memories… cool.

Matt: Oh, there’s Dad and me at the old fishing hole.

(Ryo takes a closer look at the picture. Matt and Mr. Ishida are on top of a building wearing waders.)

Ryo: Um…

Matt: When we got there, we found out they built a skyscraper over it.

Ryo: (mystic) The serenity of nature giving way to urban sprawl. Like a child learning to talk… like a virgin deflowered… like Terrell Davis retiring…

Matt: It wasn’t that bad. We went to the observation tower… we could see the TMG Building!!

(Ryo’s looking at another picture. This is one of Tai and Matt in first season mode, standing together, smiling goofily. Tai is flashing a peace sign.)

Ryo: Who is he?

(Matt raises an eyebrow.)

Matt: It’s Tai… he’s an idiot. Those goggles cut off the circulation to his head or something. What a moron. And he smashed the shot glass TK gave me. I just… hate him…

(Matt yawns.)

Matt: (tired) And yet… I love him.

(Matt falls asleep. Ryo is totally confused.)

Ryo: Uh… wait… what? Weren’t you just talking about scoring with all the girls… how can…

(Matt is asleep. Ryo sighs.)

Ryo: Mystical questions with no real answers are one thing… but I still will never get yaoi.


(The next day, and everybody, except for Matt and Ryo, is in the living room watching television. Someone knocks on the door. TK answers it. On the other side are Cody and Sora.)
TK: Oh- hey. What are you two doing here?

Sora: Well, we tried to establish a subplot on our own… and failed miserably!

Cody: So with permission from Commander… er… Mr. Commander… we’re spending New Year’s here. Like it or lump it.

(Sora holds out a box.)

Sora: It’s okay! We brought food!

TK: Come on in, the water’s fine.

(Cody and Sora are led to the living room.)

Kari: Subplot didn’t faze out the way you wanted?

Sora: Unfortunately not.

Cody: We set out to try to find some sort of employment. Got fired from the bakery in a record 21 minutes.

Sora: But on the plus side, the manager gave us this cake if we promised never to come back!

Kari: Wow. We can share that later…

(An alarm on TK’s watch goes off. Kari instinctively panics and dives behind a couch.)

TK: It’s okay. It’s just a regular timer watch I bought at the store. It’s set to go off whenever Cody and Sora have had enough screentime.

Kari: Oh… so we can ignore them now?

(TK checks the watch.)

TK: Yep.

Kari: Oh good. So what should we do today?

Yolei: Well, I saw a public bath nearby. It’ll be a great chance to eat up some time… and to offer some cheap fan service.

TK: Good enough reasoning for me, but don’t you think we should wake up Matt and Ryo? Even a hangover wouldn’t be enough to make them miss this!

Kari: I have a better idea!

(Kari walks into TK’s room.)

Kari: (OS) Light of Life!!

(Kari walks back out. Ryo follows, fresh as a daisy.)

Ryo: Thanks a bundle.

TK: Um, Kari, you know you probably shouldn’t use your powers in front of my brother like that.

(Matt enters the room, also in full health.)

Matt: Relax TK. I’ll just forget it happened, okay?

TK: But… but…

Ryo: It’s like the old proverb says- ‘Tis better to have a plothole than a hangover.

Cody: I’ve never heard that one before…

Ryo: (annoyed) Look kid, I’m the mystic proverb character. You’re the cute Chinese girl. Never question my ramblings.

(Another knock on the door.)

Matt: I’ll get that.

(Matt opens the door. It’s Tai.)

Matt: I’m sorry. We’re happy with our religion, facial cleansing product, and choice of vacuum cleaner. Go away.

Tai: Matt… I…

(Before Matt can slam the door, Tai pulls something out of his hand.)

Tai: Here!

(It’s a shot glass. Matt glares at Tai and takes the glass.)

Matt: What? You think the bar’s not good enough? Is this some sort of message? Am I supposed to take it to mean that my bar will only be to your liking with this stupid shot glass in it?

Tai: No… I…

Matt: Screw you, Tai.

(Matt slams the door. Tai thinks long and hard about Matt’s words and comes to one conclusion.)

Tai: Huh?


(The public bathhouse. TK is seated alone on his side while the girls talk on the other side.)
Kari: (OS) This is nice. Very relaxing.

Sora: (OS) Oh yeah… after a hard fourteen episodes of battling bad guys, it’s good to sit back and relax for one.

Yolei: (OS) Where did I put my towel?

(TK begins to doze off.)

Kari: (OS) It’s up there. Behind you.

Yolei: (OS) Oh, there it is!

(TK shakes his head a few times. It’s clear that he’s bored.)

Yolei: (OS) Shoot… my glasses!

Sora: (OS) Did they fall in the water?

Yolei: (OS) Yeah… I can’t see them. I can’t see at all, as a matter of fact.

Kari: (OS) Feel around down there.

Yolei: (OS) I’m too comfortable. I have a better idea. Cody! Find my glasses!

Cody: (OS) What? What do you mean?

(TK is startled and his eyes snap open. He looks towards the dividing wall.)

Yolei: (OS) Get down here and find my glasses!

Matt: (OS) Come on, Cody, you don’t want to keep the girl waiting.

Cody: (OS) Okay… here I go…

(Silence. TK is mesmerized by the conversation on the other side.)

Yolei: (OS) Ooh… that tickles.

Ryo: (OS) Keep looking Cody… you’re almost there!

(More silence. Then Yolei starts to giggle.)

Yolei: (OS) Any luck?

Cody: (OS) I can’t breathe down there!!

Kari: (OS) Ryo, do you want to try?

Ryo: (OS) Yes… yes please.

(More laughter on the other side. TK shakes his head.)

TK: Okay, maybe there are some advantages to playing a female character.


(Back at home, and back at the bar. Ryo is now behind the counter, holding a beer mug. Matt is at a stool.)
Matt: Remember, this is a dry run-through.

Ryo: Okay… so I hold it at an angle so there isn’t as much foam…

(Ryo fills the beer mug with the tap and sets it on the counter next to Matt.)

Ryo: Place it here and say… “What’s the matter Matt?”

Matt: Oh Ryo… you know, this morning, Tai came over. I think… I think he was trying to apologize. And I just shut him down like that.

(Ryo wipes down the bar with a dirty rag.)

Matt: I really should tell him how I feel, you know?

Ryo: (mystical) Not every day brings the end of the world. But this thing called “tomorrow” is never set in stone. One day there may be no tomorrow. So live every day as if it was your last.

(Kari happens to be walking by, and hears that. She ponders it for awhile, and continues on.)

Matt: Not bad, but you know- the rhetorical questions and proverbs and stuff doesn’t really come across as sagely bartender advice. Tone that down, and you’re kosher.

Ryo: Okay, but just out of curiosity… do you… really like Tai?

Matt: Yeah. Something wrong?

Ryo: But I mean… before you were talking about scoring with all the girls.

Matt: (with a randy smile) Oh yeah!

Ryo: But you like Tai.

Matt: Of course. I think we’ve gotten that across.

(Ryo ponders the wording, trying to get it right)

Ryo: (belabored) So… are you… you know… gay?

Matt: What does that have to do with anything?

(Ryo face faults.)


(Later that night, they’re all watching Dick Clark as usual. Yet another knock on the door.)
TK: (excited) I’ll get that!

(TK answers it. Again- it’s Tai.)

TK: Aw jeez… how much are you planning to run this into the ground?

Tai: As much as humanly possible- get Matt.

(Matt arrives and steps outside, closing the door behind him. Dramatic pause as both try to decide what to say. Finally, they both say it.)

Matt/Tai: I’m sorry!

(They look up and laugh briefly.)

Matt: Seriously, Tai, thanks for the present. It’s hanging up at the bar as we speak.

Tai: Aw, it’s nothing. I mean after I broke the one your brother gave you, it’s only right.

(Matt looks into Tai’s eyes.)

Matt: Tai…

Tai: Yeah?

Matt: I… I…

(Mrs. Takaishi interrupts.)

Mrs. Takaishi: Boys, Santana is performing. And after that, the ball is dropping.

Matt: Cool!

Mrs. Takaishi: You’re welcome to join us Tai.

Tai: Aw, actually I have to get going… my…

(Tai is interrupted by the big AEGIS tour bus pulling up behind him. In fact, Tai has to get out of the way to avoid being hit. TK runs out from the house, joined by the others.)

TK: All right!

Kari: What is it?

(From out of the bus, Davis, Izzy, and Rika appear with a load of ramen… the good kind.)

Davis/Izzy: Noodle delivery!!

TK: We talked to Rika, and she’s hooking us up with some midnight dishes.

(Izzy puts an arm around Rika’s shoulder.)

Izzy: Isn’t she great?

(Rika shrugs it off.)

Rika: (annoyed) Don’t touch me.

TK: I’ll help you get all that inside.

(He does so, while Matt turns to Tai.)

Matt: As you were saying?

Tai: Like I said… your house is my house.


(As the ball drops to mark the beginning of the new year, everybody is quite festive with their bowl of ramen, except for Rika, who lurks in the back of the room.)
TK: So Kari, any resolutions?

(Kari smiles and looks at Ryo, then looks back at TK.)

Kari: Oh uh… well… I want to live every day as if it were the last.

(Ryo smiles. The conversation continues, while Rika watches Kari intently.)

Rika: (sotto) Don’t worry… one of these days… it will be.

(Mrs. Takaishi, armed with a camera, almost knocks Rika over.)

Mrs. Takaishi: Okay, everybody, picture time!

(The group huddles up for a picture.)

Mrs. Takaishi: Say cheese.

(Everybody smiles.)

Tai: Cut and print!!

(Everybody walks away, resulting in a bloody awful picture. Matt goes up to Tai.)

Matt: Hey, Tai.

Tai: Hey Matt. God, that episode was weird.

Matt: No kidding. There’s one thing that really bugs me?

Tai: What? The out of character yaoi stuff?

Matt: Where was that? I didn’t see anything out of character?

(Tai slaps his forehead.)

Tai: Never mind. What bugs you?

Matt: The shot glass. It just seems so strange for them to be fighting over something like that. What was it in the original?

Tai: Oh uh… heh heh…

(Tai looks down and sighs.)

Tai: A hair clip.

(Matt’s confused.)

Matt: What?

Tai: They were fighting over a hair clip.

Matt: You’re kidding me? What kind of lifeless morons would have an argument about a hair clip?

(Tai nervously laughs. Matt turns to Sora, who has joined them.)

Matt: A hair clip. Can you believe that? That just… boggles the mind.

(Sora and Tai eye each other, both nervous.)

Sora: I uh… wouldn’t know. I’m just the airhead.

End Episode Fifteen


Author’s Notes
This episode was somewhat subtle in its social commentary, so if you didn’t really catch it, or don’t agree with it… just enjoy the bath scene and wait for next time.

Yes- it was about a hair clip in the original.

For those who’ve read my other works, you have to be at least somewhat proud of the fact that I didn’t stick in an obvious joke about the name Takeshi in association with a certain tall, tanned, and toned gym leader from Nibi/Pewter City.

Since I’m sure somebody’s going to ask, June 3rd is my birthday. Other than that, that date’s arbitrary. I was considering using September 13th, the date of Second Impact in Evangelion, but there was something about that date that didn’t feel right to joke about. Oh yeah… I’ve been trying to tone down the Eva refs. That’s it.

Okay… the bit about “dues ex machina” was a little over-the-top for Sora, making her sound more like Mihoshi than her character here. But remember- Sora and Mihoshi have the same Japanese voice actress. So there.

For those non-football fans (or in some cases, non-American football fans), Terrell Davis was a running back for the Denver Broncos that recently retired. I’m not a fan of his or anything, I’m just trying to stay timely with the references. And finally, to explain the reference right after that, the TMG (short for Tokyo Metropolitan Government) Building in Shinjuku is probably better known by Digimon fans as that freaky Hypnos tower. However, I’ll always know it as the place where Hayama first kissed Sana on Kodocha… ah… memories.

Next Episode- Begin to Wrap it Up!
It’s the start of the big, bad, trilogy that attempts to bring closure to this farce. While Kari’s father is away at a World Expo, the Invaders attack the expo, making this new battle personal. But when Ken pulls out some new weapons, can it be that the Gatekeepers have finally met their match? Wow… that sounds awfully serious.