Episode Thirteen- Soras Giant Robot of Love!
(The Invaders are attacking. Theyve formed their combat
mode, and TK, Kari, Yolei, Sora,
Cody, Rika, and Davis arrive to battle it, all wearing gym clothes, including
the girls clad in those tight little shorts.)
Yolei: I cant believe the nerve of them interrupting
gym class.
Kari: What the heck are they?
TK: Well my guess would be the Invaders have been watching too much Iron Chef.
(Indeed, two giant robots with the heads of chefs are demolishing the city. One sees our heroes and uses a large spatula to try to squash the group.)
Rika: Wall of Steel!
(The spatula is stopped by Rikas defense.)
Kari: Okay, lets send this thing back to the kitchen.
(Kari prepares a shot until Davis notices something.)
Davis: Hold on a second Kari!
(Kari looks over at Davis, impatient.)
Kari: What?
Davis: You usually hide your bow and arrow under your skirt, but you arent wearing a skirt youre wearing gym shorts. Whered you pull the bow and arrows out of?
(Kari stares at Davis for a second.)
(While Davis is blasted off into the background, Yolei decides to take the offensive.)
Yolei: Well Im not going to let these Sizzler
rejects ruin my gym period!
(Yolei charges after one chef with a flying kick.)
Yolei: REEBOKS OF MIGHT!!
(The chef stumbles. Yolei ducks out of the way so Cody can get a clear shot at the other chef.)
Cody: FIRE ARMADILLO!!
(The enemies is now thoroughly weakened.)
TK: Alright. Time to finish it off
Sora: (OS) ENCHANTING MELODY!!
(Everybody looks over at Sora, who is on the piano.)
Kari: No! Not now!!
(Soras melody plays, and an illusion is created it now looks like there are six angry chefs destroying everything. Yolei and Cody begin to panic.)
Rika: Wall of Steel!
(Rika creates a wall around the piano, drowning out the sound.)
Kari: Excellent. ARROW OF LIGHT!
(Kari fires an arrow, which goes through both of the chefs. They blow up.)
TK: Bam!
(Once the dust settles, Kari, Yolei, Rika, and Cody sigh and relief.)
Yolei: Glad thats over
(Sora begins to clap.)
Sora: Way to go everybody. You know, were really beginning to gel as a team!
(The other five look over at her angrily while she continues.)
Sora: (OS) Everybody knows what theyre supposed to do. The Invaders dont have a chance against us when we work together.
(Yolei and Cody mumble incoherently.)
Rika: Stop getting in the way.
Sora: I what? I get in the way?
(Kari and TK mumble incoherently.)
Rika: Yes. You do.
Sora: But but
(Yolei stands up.)
Yolei: Well, I gotta get back to class. Cmon Cody.
(Yolei grabs Cody and runs off.)
Sora: (in a trance) Am I not helping the team? Maybe maybe theyd all just be better off without me.
(TK passively listens, until he slowly gets a realization.)
Sora: (mired in thought) If I left the team, maybe theyd be more effective. And what if they have to rely on me? What if I cant pull through and save them??
(TK grabs Kari by the arm and starts to run away.)
Kari: What is it? Whats wrong?
(TK stops to catch his breath.)
TK: Its the worst thing imaginable. You werent here the last time it happened. I only hope we can handle it okay.
Kari: What is it?!
(TK pauses for dramatic effect.)
TK: The sappy Sora episode.
Episode Sixteen- Sally Forth, Gate Robot!
(Sora is in her bedroom. She is looking at a dresser,
topped with little souvenirs. She picks up a doll.)
Sora: and I got this one when we were all fighting
the giant chainsaw in Kawasaki
(Sora stops and thinks for a second.)
Sora: Wait a minute why did I buy souvenirs? Were supposed to be saving the world. But I need to remember the occasion somehow!!
(Sora puts the doll back on the dresser.)
Sora: But now that I think about it, none of the others buy stuff. And now that I think about it some more its pretty meaningless buying souvenirs when the battle is two blocks away from school. Maybe I should actually concentrate on the saving the world part.
(Mimi bursts into the room holding a cordless phone.)
Mimi: Sora!
Sora: Mimi? What are you doing here? Am I supposed to be at headquarters?
(Mimi looks down and sighs. She looks at the camera.)
Tai: (OS) Cmon Mimi, you forced yourself into this, you have to go through with it.
(Mimi shakes her head, and looks at Sora.)
Mimi: Sora remember my evil twin from episode five?
Sora: No.
Mimi: Oh Im my evil twin from episode five.
Sora: How can you be your own evil twin??
Mimi: Never mind youve got a phone call.
(Sora takes the phone.)
Sora: Hello?
Mrs. Takenouchi: (VO) This is your mother.
Sora: Hi Mom. What do you want?
Mrs. Takenouchi: (VO) Im here due to a strange coincidence to remind you what youre good at and give your life new meaning.
Sora: Oh cool. What am I good at?
Mrs. Takenouchi: (VO) Stop by
and Ill show you.
(A puppet show. Sora is portraying the witch in the production of
Cinderella. In this particular version, the witch has the same role as the
fairy godmother or the can of mackerel if you watch Cardcaptor
Sakura. The witch is voiced by Sora.)
Witch: And lets throw some horses in there, and heres the carriage is it
okay if the carriage doesnt have power windows?
Cinderella: (slightly flat) Thats fine witch youve made my dream come true. Ill finally be able to
Tai: (OS) CUT!!
(Tai walks up to the little stage, leans on it, and stares both puppets in the eye. He finally rests on Cinderella.)
Tai: Sorry Im just not believing the excitement. Its doesnt have that thrill. Your motivation should be revenge. Youre finally getting the chance to upstage your bastard stepsisters. This sounds more like
(Isogai steps out of the box.)
Isogai: Look, Im only here because you didnt want to hire another extra to play Cinderella. This doesnt have anything to do with the actual episode.
Tai: (indignant) Well sorry! I just happen to want a good portrayal. Something I can believe.
Isogai: Theres no point! Im an extra! You cant expect me to be the best Cinderella to ever grace the stage.
Tai: Look look Im not expecting Touya Kinomoto. Thats way too much to ask. But I do want competence.
Isogai: Youre just bossing me around because I decided to go out with Ken instead of you.
Tai: Hey, its my series, so if I want to work you harder out of spite, I can.
(Sora stands up.)
Sora: Can I get ready for my next scene?
Tai: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
(Sora walks offstage.)
Isogai: What about her? Didnt she reject you once?
(Tai smiles evilly and steeples his fingers.)
Tai: Wait until next episode
(Sora is in a hallway, with the
witch puppet. She is talking to it.)
Sora: (sad) The witch is
always helping people. Shes always making people happy. But Im too clumsy to
help people. I keep making people angry, and I always make mistakes. I wish I
was like a witch. Can I ever be a good witch?
(Sora continues to stare sadly at the puppet. After an few seconds of angst, the puppet finally reacts.)
Witch: BAD! BAD!
Tai: (OS) CUT!!
(Sora starts laughing uncontrollably. Tai walks up to her.)
Tai: You know Im starting to think I should have called in sick today.
Sora: Im sorry, it was just
(Sora continues to laugh.)
Tai: I hope you realize that this is your episode. This is your moment in the spotlight. Have you noticed that Im not doing this for any of the other secondary characters? This is all for you you could be a little more appreciative!
(Sora holds the puppet in Tais face.)
Witch: If youre so appreciative of Soras talents, whyd you stick her as the brainless ditz?
Tai: (to the puppet) Hey, who do you think you are to give me the third degree? I didnt hire you, but I can sure as hell fire you!
Witch: (in Tais face) Id like to see you try it!!
(Tai grabs the puppet off Soras hand, and rotates his hand to the right. Rika is conveniently holding a garbage can. Tai drops it in. Rika smiles slightly and hands Tai a book of matches. Tai takes it, lights a match, and drops it in the can. The witch bursts into flames.)
Tai: Youre fired!
(Sora looks into the burning can.)
Sora: Um you know we need that later on.
Tai: Uh oh yeah.
Sora: Youre going to have to hire a new puppet
(Tai looks at the fire, unsure of what to do. Rika continues to smile.)
Rika: We dont need no water, let the motherf
(Tai interrupts to maintain the fics rating.)
Tai: Well deal with it later, next scene!
(Kari is practicing her archery. She hits a bullseye because she is Kari.)
Kari: And thats how you do it
(Sora is there too, struggling with her bow.)
Kari: So why do you want to practice archery with me?
Sora: Because I want to be a good witch
Kari: Uh this wont help. Ive never seen any witches on the archery team.
(Sora lets one fly, going way overhead.)
Sora: Whoops
(Somebody offscreen gets hit by the arrow and screams bloody murder.)
Kari: Excuse me I have to go heal someone with my magic powers.
(Kari hustles to the scene. Sora is still depressed. Rika watches her carefully.)
Rika: Huh hopeless.
(Sora is now playing tennis with
Yolei. They have a conversation as they volley the
ball back and forth.)
Yolei: So why did you want to play against me?
Sora: Because I know that Im good at it. Maybe if I play long enough, I can use my skills to help the team out.
Yolei: At tennis? Sora, you have an illusion technique. There is no such thing as a Gate of Tennis.
Sora: You mean
Yolei: The closest thing to that would be well GATE OPEN!!
(Yolei speeds towards the ball, and drills it towards Sora. The ball is embedded in the concrete. She smiles stupidly.)
Yolei: Forty-love!
(Sora sighs. Rika continues to watch.)
Rika: Talentless
(Sora is now with Cody.)
Sora: Please its my last resort.
Cody: Youve got to be kidding me.
Sora: Seriously Cody I want to learn the Fire Armadillo attack!!
Cody: But thats my attack. If you had it, Id have to sue you for trademark infringement.
Sora: Youd seriously do that?
Cody: No but I have to sneak some parts of my real-life persona into this character or Ill be labeled as the cute Chinese girl forever.
Sora: Oh well maybe I should just change the attack to something more like myself. Maybe I should have something resembling Birdramon. Lets see How about a Fire Bird attack? If I learned that I could make everybodys wishes come true!
Cody: You want to be able to summon the great Fire Bird and make everybodys wishes come true?
Sora: Yeah!
(Cody hands Sora a Chinese scroll.)
Cody: Great, heres an ancient scroll of the Four Gods Sky & Earth. Gather the seven seishi and let me know how it turns out!!
(Cody walks away. Rika scoffs.)
Rika: Useless
(Sora is on the roof, still
moping.)
Sora: Why why why Why wont my crest glow??!! Er wait why cant I help the team?
Ryo: (OS, mystical) In times of doubt, one needs to relax ones mind over a glass of sake.
(Sora turns around. Ryo again looks like hes all-knowing.)
Sora: What do you mean?
(Ryo cant keep up the charade any longer and bursts into laughter.)
Ryo: (laughing) Sorry, sorry its just that ever since I met TKs brother, Matt, hes been taking me out drinking every now and then. Sake bumps woo! If youre looking for some sort of weird non-existentialist ranting, go watch Lain. Me Im gonna get drunker than Misato on a Sunday morning!!
(Ryo vanishes.)
(The puppet show is now being performed in front of a
small group of kids. Included in the group of kids are
Tamer siblings Ai and Mako.)
Cinderella: Oh what am I to do? I wish I could go to the ball
(Behind the kids, Tai stands with Mrs. Takenouchi.)
Mrs. Takenouchi: Are you sure about this? Its
somewhat unorthodox.
Tai: Hey, we needed to replace the witch, so why not replace her with a
Mrs. Takenouchi: You are weird.
Tai: Did you have a better solution?
Mrs. Takenouchi: Yes get a new
witch. Did you really need to go this far?
(Sad as it is, the replacement witch is actually a very
familiar-looking redhead in a more conservative school uniform, voiced by Sora.)
Cinderella: Who who are you?
Asuka: (annoyed) Asuka. What do you want?
Cinderella: I want to go to the ball.
Asuka: Oh you just want everything, dont you? Hey, it makes me look good in front of all these kids, so Ill help you out. Just dont ask for anymore favors, okay?
Cinderella: Youre my savior.
Asuka: (annoyed) I know, I know,
Im the greatest. Shut up and let me work.
(After the play, Sora is playing
with the kids. Everybody seems to be having a good time, especially Sora. Mrs. Takenouchi watches.)
Mrs. Takenouchi: (thinking aloud) Its no wonder that
you have so much fun with kids you still are one at heart.
Mako: Hey Sora!
Sora: Yeah?
Mako: I like you!
Sora: Well I like you too!
Mako: Wanna go out with me?
Sora: Hmm I dont know should I?
(Sora looks at her arm, she still has Asuka on her hand.)
Asuka: Only if it makes someone jealous.
(Sora turns back to Mako.)
Sora: Sure!
Mako: Cool. Meet me at the zoo at 4:00 tomorrow!
(Sora smiles.)
Sora: Okay!
(Mako turns to Ai.)
Mako: Ha ha! Im already starting to date! Im better than you!
(Ai folds her arms.)
Ai: (stubborn) You are not. Im
just more interested in younger men. I have a ways to go before I get into it.
(Smooth transition to the next day. Sora
is at AEGIS headquarters.)
Sora: You know what Im starting to realize? I have a
lot more power when I have control over a puppet.
(Sora pulls out her Asuka puppet.)
Asuka: Just remember whos in charge of this whole operation.
(Sora frowns.)
Sora: You know Im getting a little tired of you, though. Maybe I should find a new puppet.
Asuka: You wouldnt dare
(Sora looks ahead and sees the Gate Robot Michael used.)
Sora: Now thats a puppet!
(Sora goes in for a closer look. She knocks on its casing. Without warning, a door opens up and sucks Sora into the drivers seat. Once inside, she looks around, very confused.)
Sora: Uh whats this button do?
(She pushes a button. A runway opens up and the robot
takes off into the streets.)
(Meanwhile, in the control room, Izzy
is on a computer.)
Izzy: Lets see enter credit card number for age
verification
(Izzy cracks his knuckles and smiles.)
Izzy: Nothing I cant get around
(Davis bursts into the room in a panic.)
Davis: Izzy?! Did you see what just happened??
(Izzy looks nervously at Davis, then quickly hits some stuff on the computer to find out whats been happening.)
Izzy: Holy moly! Unit 1 just took off with no overriding command from me? It always needed somebody to give it clearance to take off.
Davis: Thats not the only thing- Soras in there!
Izzy: Sora?? She just took off in a robot that seems to be acting on its own do you know what that means?
Davis: Um that Sora is the true pilot of Unit 1 and were about to get caught up in a whole bunch of religious metaphor, with Sora ultimately being symbolic of Jesus Christ?
(Izzy looks at Davis like hes an idiot.)
Izzy: Uh no. It means we gotta get that thing stopped before the robot gets hurt!
Davis: And we have to save Sora too!
Izzy: Oh, uh, yeah sure.
(Unit 1 is walking peacefully down the street, while Sora tries to figure out how to control it.)
Sora: What do I do?? Ive never seen a puppet I
couldnt control!
Asuka: Maybe you should think in German
(Sora looks at the puppet, then straight again.)
Sora: Ive never seen a puppet this big I couldnt control!!
(Down the street, a kid is walking with a balloon. He accidentally drops it. It starts to rise above his grasp and he starts to cry. Inside the robot, Sora sees it.)
Sora: Oh no!
(The robot grabs the balloon, and gives it back to the kid. The kid smiles while the mother practically faints.)
Sora: (VO, kind) Here you go! Try not to lose it next time!
(The robot continues walking. Sora smiles in the robot.)
Sora: Well even if I cant get out, maybe I can make the most of it. I can be a good witch!
Asuka: I have a better idea
lets get the heck out of this thing.
(At HQ, Joe has an ice pack on his head while Mimi is at a
computer.)
Joe: Why doesnt this ever happen to other secret government organizations with
giant robots?
Mimi: I still cant override its signal. Its like it has a mind of its own.
Joe: Which is strange, because the robot
is incapable of independent thought. And there are times when Sora in incapable of thought period.
(Mrs. Takenouchi is in her home,
reading. She hears a knock on her door.)
Mrs. Takenouchi: Im coming
(She opens the door. The giant robot is on the other end.)
Sora: (VO) Hi Mom!!!
(Mom is frozen in fear.)
Sora: (VO) Mom?
(Mom faints.)
(While Asuka commands the robot
to reach over and shuts the front door, Sora slumps
back in the seat.)
Sora: I was hoping she could help me. Now what?
Asuka: Isnt it almost time for your date?
Sora: Oh right! Lets move
robot!!
(Joe and Mimi are also slumped back in their seats. They
have no clue how to stop the thing. They hear a beeping.)
Joe: What is it now?
Mimi: Looks like its on the move again.
Joe: And we cant stop it
Mimi: Hmm you think maybe I should radio it?
(Joe looks over at Mimi.)
Joe: Wait you mean you havent even tried to contact Sora inside?
Mimi: Well you said override it. You didnt say anything
about asking it nicely to stop!
Joe: Its a long-shot, but we might as well.
(Mimi pushes one button on the console and a screen shows Sora trying to drive the robot.)
Joe: Sora!!
(Sora holds the puppet up to the screen.)
Asuka: Soras busy, can I take a message?
Joe: Yeah, tell her to find some way out of there. Her energy levels may force the Invaders to initiate a battle.
Sora: Sorry, but I cant figure out how to get out of this thing. But its okay! Ive been helping people like a good witch should. Im late for my date now so Im going to hang up. Bye Joe!
(Sora ends the conversation. Joe slaps his forehead.)
Joe: Cant we have one week where nothing unusual happens?
Mimi: I dont think its in our contract.
(At the zoo. Mako
is looking at his watch. Its past four. He stamps his foot.)
Mako: Huh Im only five years old and Im already
being stood up. I was psyched for this date too I even bought flowers.
(Mako holds out an arm, revealing one wilted carnation.)
Mako: I need to ask my mom to raise my allowance.
Sora: (VO) Mako!!
(Mako looks over, and sees a giant robot running towards him, along with a bunch of people trying to get out of its way.)
Sora: (VO) Its me! I cant get out of here!
(The robot stops in front of Mako.)
Mako: Can I come in?
Sora: (VO) Id love to let you in, but I cant figure out the controls!!
Mako: Well itll be a bit awkward but I guess theres nothing wrong
(As always perfect timing for the Invaders! Thank God)
Sora: (VO) Oh no! Invaders!
(They begin firing at everything. As if by some instinct, the robots hand swoops down, picks up Mako, and drops him inside the robot.)
Mako: How how did you do that?
Sora: I I wish I knew
Mako: Never mind we have to blow up these bad guys.
Sora: I now I really wish I
knew how to use this thing!
(The bitchin tour bus arrives
and the group gets out. While Kari and Cody take care of the main crew of
Invaders, TK shouts at Sora.)
TK: Sora! Youve got to destroy the Invaders with the
built in Gate Engine! That or get the hell out of there and let me do it!
Sora: (VO) Hold on lets see how do I do that whats this button do?
(Unit 1 puts its arms in the air and starts running around frantically, doing a few backflips until it lands with a flying backwards somersault in its original spot.)
TK: No!! Thats the post-victory celebration mode!
(TK turns to the side, disappointed.)
TK: I was saving that
Sora: (VO) Im sorry!!
(The robot gets down on its
knees and bows humbly, forming a few dents in the pavement.)
Sora: (VO) I beg you for
forgiveness!!
TK: Can this get any
worse??
(Cue something to make it
worse namely the Combat Mode for this episode, which is a giant fence that
traps in TK, Kari, Cody, Rika, and Yolei. TK hits a post with his kendo stick
and gets electrocuted.)
TK: Oh shoot we cant get
out of here
(A number of cords shoot
out of the floor, tying everybody up, and draining their energy at the same
time.)
Kari: Ow no I cant get
out of these
Cody: Its all up to Sora
now
Rika: It is?
Yolei: I think so
Rika: I pledge allegiance
to my new masters, the Invaders, who will
Kari/Cody: Shut up Rika!
(Inside, Sora is starting
to panic, while Mako tries to calm her down.)
Mako: Hey, I have no idea
whats going on, but I know you can do it!
Sora: I dont know I mean
Im all alone its all up to me
Mako: Believe in yourself!
Sora: I have to make them
happy but how can I when I dont know how to fight with this robot
(Sora looks at the puppet,
which turns towards Sora.)
Sora: Do you have any words
of wisdom?
Asuka: Yeah, its hopeless-
end it all now!
(The puppet goes up to
choke Sora, but Mako pulls it off her hand.)
Mako: Okay, okay, weve
seen enough of that. Look, there has to be a way to stop them!
Izzy: (VO) Hey Sora!!
(Up in a helicopter, Izzy
and Davis have a special delivery.)
Izzy: By some unbelievable
stretch of the imagination, we just happened to finish our secret weapon which
just happens to be the trick to saving the day in this highly unpredictable
situation!!
Davis: Shut up and drop the
damn thing
(It just happens to be a
giant piano. It falls to the ground.)
Sora: (VO) Good thing Ive
been working on memorizing this ENCHANTING MELODY!!!
(Mako watches in awe as
Sora is able to silently control the robot as it plays the keys. The Invaders,
who had merged to form the bars of the cage, are now disturbed. Everything they
see is another Gatekeeper. With thousands of Karis, TKs, Yoleis, and etcetera
in the way, they begin to freak out and run off. The big red guy pops down to
begin another wave, but all the other Invaders picture him as TK and open fire.
The red guy returns fire, and all the bad stuff is conveniently blowd up.)
Yolei: All right! Were
free!
TK: Sora!! Heres how to
get out
(TK looks at the robot, to
see it has engaged its post-victory celebration again. This time, with a
stunning move, it slides feet-first, ripping up the street completely, until it
stops with one hand resting on its hip, and the other on its head in a very
non-chalant pose.)
TK: Sora push the top door
open!
(Sora looks up, and does
so. The door flies open with no resistance.)
Sora: Oh!!
(Down on the ground,
everybodys happy. because the day has been saved yet again.)
TK: Well, you really came through for us in the end.
Mako: You were great!
Sora: Thanks! And you know
something, since this was my own episode of personal reflection and character
development, I realized one, very important thing.
Kari: Whats that?
Sora: (pissed) That I am
going to kill Tai for putting me through all that nonsense!!!
(Sora marches off to
strangle the director, leaving the others watching her in awe.)
Mako: I can see it in you
already Sora someday youll make a very good bitch.
(Meanwhile, off to the
side, Rika frowns.)
Rika: She got lucky, and
she gets all the credit anyway.
(Rika holds up the Asuka
puppet.)
Rika: You probably did all
the work.
(Rika looks around. With
nobody watching, she moves the puppet.)
Asuka: Of course I did. Now
come on, lets you and me get something to eat
Rika: Sounds like a plan.
(Rika walks off with the
puppet.)
Rika: Asuka this looks
like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
End Episode Thirteen
Authors Notes
Hows that for stupid? Yes, the
puppet really did accompany Reiko on her trip in the robot. And they really
were two giant chefs at the beginning. The only thing that was really strongly
embelleshed was the post-victory celebration mode.
It seems that Ive been leaning towards more and more anime references, but
they seem to be getting a positive response, so I may keep it up. Heres a
summary of the three main ones referred to:
Cardcaptor Sakura: An episode featuring the play Cinderella was referred to
here. Sakuras brother Touya Kinomoto handled the title character while Yukito
played the can of mackeral who was supposedly in the witch position. Did I
mention that CCS is a weird series?
Fushigi Yuugi: The whole thing about using the Four Gods Sky & Earth Scroll
to gather the seven seishi and summon the fire bird is pretty much the plot of
this series.
Evangelion: Three big references to Eva. First is Ryos mentioning of Misato, a
character who frequently needs to toss back a beer or two to start each morning
off right. Then theres the Asuka puppet, named after and resembling the
definitive bitchy redhead from Eva. And of course there was Daviss spiel about
the Unit 1 pilot, which pretty much describes the whole series.
It was a little strange writing a character like Mako in for something like
what he had. I was tempted on using Tomoki/Tommy from the fourth season, but
didnt really feel the need to get them involved, even though the fourth season
is really looking fun from what Ive seen of it so far.
Next Episode- Interrupt the Christmas Special!
Christmas is approaching, and as always- it doesnt matter what kind of
festive spirit is about, the only thing on everybodys mind is whos making
what for whom? But thats not the only thing on the minds of our heroes. Ken
and his political club have received the big opportunity to debate on national
television. But will the Invaders interfere?? Huh this sounds awfully
familiar...