Tai Kamiya Presents "Gatekeepers"
Episode Two- Play That Funky Music, Sora!
(TK and Kari are looking through the script for the next episode.)
Kari: Okay so then you and Mr. Matsuki speed over to Shinjuku and help not only me, but your mother and your sister? Since when did you have a sister?
TK: Thats what Id like to know. Oh well maybe I just have to save you and Mom.
(Tai walks in, grabs the scripts from TK and Kari, and tosses them into a nearby processor, which converts them into mulch.)
Tai: Good news guys- were skipping episode two.
TK: But I stayed up all night learning my lines!
Tai: Oh well heres episode three.
TK: (taking the script) Great, Im not going to get any sleep tonight either.
Tai: Yes you will. That wont be an issue.
Kari: Whys that?
Tai: Because were filming it today!
Kari: But how can we skip episode two? That seems important. It establishes the relationship between TK and his mother and sister.
TK: One of which I dont have!!
Tai: Yeah. Exactly. If the episode focuses on his mother and his sister, and he doesnt have a sister, then why bother?
TK: So you arent going to give me a sister?
Tai: Nope! I havent gotten through the entire series yet, but I dont think shes important. So why bother?
TK: You sure?
Tai: Yeah. When was the last time the main characters little sister had any significance to a series?
Kari: Um Tai
TK: I suppose but what about
Tai: Anything that was really important was thrown into this episode.
Kari: What does that mean- were going to be battling Invaders during this episode, then suddenly get teleported to Shinjuku to battle some more?
Tai: Hm thats not a bad idea!
Kari: Forget I said that. Please.
Tai: Oh okay. But wow- Ive got to listen to you more often!
(Tai heads out.)
Episode Three- Let the Magical Music Play!
(TK and Kari are walking to school, in appropriate uniforms.)
TK: Kari could you tell me why I have to switch schools?
Kari: Ive already told you twice!
TK: Yeah, but both times they were off camera.
Kari: Oh. Okay. You are now a Gatekeeper, and AEGIS needs you available around the clock in case an emergency arises. Their underground headquarters is under this school, so if you go here, youll be more accessible.
TK: But this is miles from my house. Where am I supposed to live?
Kari: Mimis doing some house hunting. Shell find you something.
(A landlord shows Mimi an apartment. It looks really bad and unkempt. Mimi sniffs the air and reels back from the stench.)
Mimi: Ew, whats that smell?
Landlord: Its um uh an air freshener. Its Glades new "dead rat" scent. Its accuracy to the real thing amazes even me.
Mimi: And how would you know what the real thing smells like?
Landlord: Uh because all of the other apartment complexes I own are infested with them. Not this one though. Its just an air freshener.
Mimi: (not believing him) I see
(Back at school, a bunch of girls approach Kari.)
Kari: Uh oh um, uh
TK: What is it?
(Kari shoves TK off to the side as a number of other girls join TK.)
Student: Hey there Kari!
Kari: Hi everybody!
(TK stumbles back in, looks at the student and smiles.)
TK: Hey! Whos your friend?!
Student: I was about to ask the same thing.
Kari: This is TK hes um a new student and I volunteered to show him around.
Student: Ow wow see youre always doing stuff like that. Youre so perfect!
Kari: I know!
Student: Well, we cant be late for class! See you Kari!
(The girls rush off. Kari drops the charade.)
TK: What was that?
Kari: Oh- Im perfect. Good grades, captain in everything Im involved in, most popular girl in school. Im your typical over-achiever.
(Kari walks off.)
Kari: Deal with it.
(Without warning, the song "Run Around," heard throughout the second season, is played, its chorus on an endless loop. After about two minutes of it, most of the students cover their ears in pain.)
Student: I cant take much more of this!!
(TK is staring at a loudspeaker, visibly confused.)
TK: This is one messed up school. Kari, whats going on?
(Kari is visibly concerned. She looks around, then grabs TK by the arm.)
Kari: The signal- come on!!
(They rush to the back of the school, and approach a dumpster. Kari opens it. Inside is a tube.)
Kari: Follow me!
(Kari jumps in. Follow Kari as she slides through a series of tubes, and falls into a chair. The chair continues through automatically along a conveyor belt, and ends up conveniently in the underground headquarters of AEGIS. Joe and Mimi greet her as the chair pulls up to a table.)
Joe: Hello Kari.
Kari: Hi Joe!
Joe: Could you call me Commander? I could use an ego boost.
Kari: Oh. Sure. Commander.
Joe: Wheres TK?
Kari: He should be right behind me.
(TK stumbles through the entrance, without a chair. The conveyor belt slides his body in.)
Joe: Hmm Mimi- have the maintenance guys put another chair in the tube.
Mimi: Ill make a note of it!
Joe: Hows it going TK?
TK: Wow a secret base under the city of Tokyo. This must be a big organization.
Mimi: It sure is. You have to be pretty big to have a secret base under Tokyo.
(A guy enters through a door and looks at Joe.)
Guy: Hey, is this NERV?
Joe: No, This is AEGIS. NERV is down the hall.
(The guy shuts the door.)
Joe: Since you are a Gatekeeper, its important to understand exactly who youre fighting against.
TK: Hold on let me guess- the Invaders are aliens from another dimension that want to destroy Earth and because they cant be stopped by normal means, were the only thing standing between them and their goal.
(Joe looks at Kari. She shrugs.)
Kari: I didnt say anything.
TK: No, no, I just kinda pieced it together.
Joe: Well you are wrong.
TK: I am?
Joe: Yes. You see the Invaders are not trying to destroy the Earth. Theyre trying to enslave humanity.
TK: Okay what else?
Joe: Well the rest of that you got right. The whole thing about being from another dimension and how they cant be stopped by normal means- thats right.
Kari: How did you know all that?
TK: I read too much manga.
Mimi: Good. You can give us some pointers.
Kari: (annoyed) Whats the mission?
Joe: We have a very important mission for you today
(TK stands up.)
TK: Where are they attacking? Wherever they are, Im sure Kari and I can kick their butts! Just tell us where to go and were on it!
Joe: Actually, its more like a scouting mission. No battling.
TK: Ah but whenever you say there wont be any battling- nine times out of ten there will be battling.
Joe: You are good. There probably will be battling. Basically, with this invasion of the Invaders
(Joe stops to think about how stupid that sounded, before continuing.)
Joe: You two alone will not be strong enough. Were going to need help.
(Joe hits a button on his desk, and a bunch of names fly across the screen. One stops. The screen focuses on that name, eliminates the other ones, and brings up details on this one name- Sora Takenouchi.)
Joe: Weve been scouting out possible Gatekeeper candidates. This girl is high on our list. Her name is Sora Takenouchi. She does a lot of charity work, playing piano for children at hospitals and some other goody-good places.
TK: How does that make her a Gatekeeper?
Joe: We dont know if shes a Gatekeeper or not. Thats what you have to find out. According to the people that listen to her music, the sound of her tickling the ivories make people feel at ease. This so called "enchanting melody" may be a Gate Power.
TK: Gate Power?
Kari: Its the specific power that you have that makes you a Gatekeeper. I have my magic arrows and my healing abilities. You well Im not exactly sure what the heck you have.
TK: Im just wondering if were just going to stick the word "Gate" in front of every word to make it sound more relevant to the series.
Joe: Yeah pretty much. But the point remains- we need to investigate Sora to determine if she is a Gatekeeper. If she is, we can sign her up. Be warned, the Invaders may also know about her abilities, and may make a play for her.
TK: Ha! I told you wed be battling!
Joe: (arguing) I said may! I didnt say it was definite.
TK: It will be though right?
(Joe looks away, avoiding the question.)
Mimi: Maybe you should give him his present now Commander.
Joe: I dont know if he deserves it. Hes being a wise-ass.
Kari: He is a wise-ass. Im planning on quietly trying to ignore it.
TK: while secretly harboring romantic feelings right?
Kari: In your dreams, Takaishi.
TK: So whats this about a present?
Joe: We actually have a couple of them for you.
(Joe hands over a small object, similar to Karis thingies that extend to form her bow and arrows.)
Joe: When you open your Gate, this will amplify your energy and allow it to be controlled easier.
(TK takes it, and it extends to become a kendo stick. TK swings it around a couple times.)
TK: All right- now were in business. What else you got?
Joe: Come with me.
(Joe, Kari, and TK head to a large room in the facility.)
Joe: Try not to drool too much.
(Joe pulls out a remote and pushes a button. A door opens dramatically, with a glorious white light behind it. As the light subsides, its a new car. Its a blue Toyota, and looks really sharp. TKs visibly impressed.)
Joe: This is what youll be getting around in. Its specially equipped and personalized towards your specifications. Have you ever driven before?
Joe: That wont be a problem. This handles like a beauty and is incredibly easy to drive.
(From under the car, Izzy Izumi pops out on a dolly. He stands up and wipes his hands with a rag.)
Izzy: (smiling, sarcastic) Just try to get it back in one piece 007.
Kari: Bad comparison Izzy. When compared to Bond, TKs twice as dangerous and half as suave.
TK: This is mine?!
(TK starts to drool.)
Kari: I take that back, half as suave as James Bond would be a compliment.
Joe: TK, Id like you to meet Izzy Izumi. Hes our ace mechanic and all around annoying smart guy.
(Izzy and TK shake hands.)
Izzy: Pleasure to meet you. Have fun riding her. If shes half as good as she was in the test drives, Im sure you will.
TK: But I dont have a drivers license. Is that a problem?
Joe: Nope. Who needs a drivers license when you have this?
(Joe hands TK a similar-looking license. It has the AEGIS logo and TKs picture on it.)
Joe: This is the Earth Defense License. With it youll be able to do whatever you need to do to complete your mission. You have full diplomatic immunity.
TK: Great! Kari! Lets rock!
(TK and Kari head off into the car. Joe tries giving them last minute instructions.)
Joe: Wait! You know where Soras house is, right?
Kari: Yeah. Ill watch him and make sure he doesnt screw up.
Joe: Okay. Good luck.
(TK and Kari get into the car and speed off. Joe shakes his head.)
Joe: Theyre going to screw up. Just watch.
Izzy: Well I have faith in them.
Joe: You do?
Izzy: Not really but I do know that if he trashes my car Ill throttle his neck.
Joe: You know, you probably should go and
Izzy: Right. Im all over it
(The car is cruising down the highway. TK is enjoying the ride.)
Kari: You seem to be having fun.
TK: Yeah. This is great!
Kari: I bet your father would have liked this too.
TK: Dont bring him up. Im trying to forget about him.
Kari: Why? Didnt you say he died in that plane explosion?
TK: That doesnt change anything. He was never here to begin with. Always breaking promises. He was always off on his own doing his own thing. I dont know if he really cared about us. Its a wonder Mom didnt divorce him sooner.
(TK speeds past another car.)
Kari: Um dont you think you should be slowing down?
TK: Why? You said Sora lived pretty far away.
Kari: Well yeah but youre going 90 miles an hour!!
TK: So? We can go as fast as we want
Kari: Okay, fine but at least drive on the right side of the road!
TK: I am driving on the right side!
Kari: Exactly! Its Japan- youre supposed to drive on the left side!
(TK swerves over into the left lane, barely avoiding a head on collision with a semi.)
(Somehow, they have arrived safely at Soras house. Kari is on a couch in the living room, interviewing Sora, in a chair opposite her. TK is walking around, checking out the room. Soras mother is standing in an entryway, quietly observing the situation)
Kari: Miss Takenouchi, have you experienced any strange phenomenon recently? People acting strange, performances from either you or somebody you know that can be deemed as extraordinary, supernatural
Sora: Well lets see I got a D on my Biology test last week.
(Kari looks at her, confused. She turns to TK, equally confused.)
Kari: I mean good, unusual stuff.
Sora: That was good. That was a whole 65.
Kari: A whole 65?
Sora: Yeah. I usually get forties and fifties.
Kari/TK: Out of?
Sora: Out of? Um I dont know what those tests are out of. I never get that high.
(Kari and TK sweatdrop.)
Kari: Lets see TK do you have any questions?
TK: Yeah Sora- are you an idiot?
Mrs. Takenouchi: (angry) Thats it! This interview is over! Sora! You have piano lessons!
Sora: But what about my friends?
Mrs. Takenouchi: The piano waits for no one!
Sora: Oh. Coming Mother.
(Sora leaves with her mother.)
TK: Okay then
Kari: Jeez, TK, you shouldnt ask such insensitive questions!
TK: I wanted to know! She certainly seems like an idiot!
Kari: Lets get out of here
(TK and Kari head out. Along the way, they hear Soras piano playing. They are mystified by the sound, and begin to hallucinate.)
TK/Kari: (entranced) Enchanting melody
Tai: (OS) CUT!!
TK/Kari: (entranced) Whats wrong, Tai?
Tai: Nothing its just a good time for a commercial break.
TK/Kari: (still entranced) Then why did you yell so loud?
Tai: (angry) Would you two knock it off?!
(Sora approaches Tai.)
Sora: Tai I dont mean to question your judgement but why is my character an airhead?
Tai: Because we need an airhead and Mimis already the secretary.
Sora: But why me? Do I look like an airhead?
Tai: No but we need a secretary, a "child of light," a tomboy, and an airhead. Sorry!
Sora: Well cant I be the tomboy? I used to be a tomboy!
Tai: I suppose that could be possible theres just a catch.
Tai: The tomboy has a crush on TK.
Kari: Whats so sweet about that?
TK: Oh come on, you had Davis drooling over you for so long, but what did I have? Nothing! But here- I got a tomboy drooling over me! Tai, how bad does she have it for me? Is she as bad as Davis?
Tai: Actually, its worse.
TK: Oh yeah?! How bad?
Tai: Let me put it this way theres a Christmas episode.
(TK jumps in excitement, pumping his fist.)
Tai: Actually, to be perfectly honest, TK gets a nice little Tenchi thing going for him later on
TK: IM KING OF THE WORLD!!!
Sora: Wait- doesnt that mean that even the airhead has a crush on TK?
Tai: Well maybe but if the tomboy was Ryoko, the airhead is Mihoshi.
Sora: Mihoshi already is an airhead!
Tai: Well, would you rather be Ryoko? Or Mihoshi?
Kari: I thought the tomboy and airhead were named Kaoru and Reiko.
Tai: Shut up Kari.
Sora: Fine, fine, Ill be the stupid airhead
Tai: Good! Places for Act Two! TK! Get down from there!
(TK is still dancing around excitedly.)
TK: Up from where?
(Kari comes in and drags TK away.)
Kari: Cloud nine. You know this is all pretend, right?
TK: You know I can still dream, right?
(A concert hall. TK and Kari are entering. While TK and Kari are both in their standard school uniforms, everybody else is dressed appropriately for the event. A sign says- "Sora Takenouchi- Live and Uncensored!")
Kari: They really have to sell these piano recitals dont they?
TK: You bet- I usually wouldnt be caught dead here but that uncensored thing really catches my eye!
(Kari elbows TK in the stomach.)
Kari: Look, were here for one reason only- I think were on to something. Soras playing has got to be a Gate Power.
(Kari and TK get their tickets and hand them to an usher to be directed to their seats.)
Usher: (irate) What the hell do you want?
Kari: Uh arent you going to direct us to our seats?
Usher: What do I look like, your navigator?! Your seats are written on your tickets, find them yourselves. Lazy bums.
TK: Hey, come on, isnt it your job to
(The usher grabs the tickets angrily and points to them.)
Usher: (caustic) Look- Row 1. Heres a hint- look towards the front. Like maybe the very front. I bet youll get lucky. Now get moving or Ill have you both thrown out.
(TK and Kari walk past him.)
TK: Boy. The workers are a bit uppity today.
Kari: Good thing we didnt order anything from the concession stand.
(They pass a guy with a cup of soda resting upside down on his head. The soda is still dripping down.)
Soda Guy: I learned that the hard way
TK: Lets just take our seats.
(Backstage, Sora is getting some last minute coaching from her mother.)
Sora: Why am I doing this again?
Mrs. Takenouchi: (encouraging) Because, Sora, all these people are here to see you. Do your best or Ill disown you.
Sora: (nervous) Thanks Mom.
(Sora heads on stage and begins to play the piano. The music is very calming, and gives one the feeling that one is underwater. This is especially the case, as the entire audience begins to hallucinate that they are indeed underwater, with coral surrounding the room and fish swimming overhead. TK pulls out his extend-o-kendo stick and stabs one of the fish.)
Kari: (quietly reprimanding) TK
TK: What, I missed lunch.
(Suddenly, the irate usher starts to scream and go into seizures. Other ushers do as well.)
TK: Whats going on?
Kari: Are they watching Pokémon or something?
(Without warning, another army of Invaders, in the same black suits, crash into the room and begin to open fire. Sora continues to play, oblivious, and the ocean hallucination remains. The audience conveniently decides to run for their lives.)
Kari: Oh no not here. What are the odds?
TK: Hey I was right! We are battling! Tell Joe to kiss my
(One of the Invaders fire, narrowly missing TK.)
TK: Oh my God! Theyre battling!
(TK turns to Kari, scared.)
TK: Kari, what do we do?
Kari: Ill protect Sora, you hold them off.
(TK pulls out the stick.)
TK: GATE OPEN!!!
TK: Hello? Arent you supposed to amplify my energy?
Kari: (OS) Try it again!
TK: GATE OPEN!!!
(Again, nothing. TK looks up at Kari.)
TK: Kari, I think this things broke- did Joe save the receipt?
Kari: Look out!
(An Invader goes right after TK, but TK jumps behind him.)
TK: Aw, screw the magic powers, I still have a big stick to fight with.
(TK swings the stick, which takes down an Invader. TK goes to work hitting them, while Kari throws in the occasional pot shot with her bow.)
Kari: TK! What are you doing?
TK: Im doing fine!
Kari: No youre not!!
TK: Why do you say that?
(All of the Invaders he took down stand up, unfazed.)
TK: Oh shoot
(Kari rushes over, takes out a few immediate ones, until she and TK can get a distance between them and the Invaders.)
TK: So I suppose I DO need the gate opened
(Kari suddenly turns pissed and slaps TK across the face. The Invaders pause for a second and turn their heads, obviously shocked at the slap. They regain composure and resume the attack.)
TK: What was that for?
Kari: Youre acting like an idiot!
TK: Yeah, thats the whole point! Remember? Its a TV show.
Kari: Look, you have to concentrate your energy. Feel your Gate Power
(An Invader gets too close to Kari. Kari quickly elbows it in the ear. A small object falls out- an earplug. Without it, the Invader begins to go into seizures due to the music and blows up.)
TK: Thats it! They cant stand Soras music!
Kari: Attack the ears!
(They both aggressively focus on removing the earplugs on the ears of all the Invaders. The Invader stock is falling fast, but things arent over yet, as the red guy pops in again.)
Kari: Oh no
TK: What is it?
Kari: Theyre going into combat mode.
TK: Combat mode?
Kari: Remember the giant ball?
(The remaining Invaders fuse together. This time, however, its not a giant ball but a giant boombox.)
TK: This doesnt look good
(To counter Soras "enchanting melody," the boombox starts to play some Metallica. It drowns out the piano, and force TK and Kari to cover their ears in pain.)
Kari: I cant take much more of this!
TK: Is there anything we can do?
Kari: Im trying to think but the musics too loud!!
TK: Damn you Metallica!!
Kari: The only way to stop it is for Soras music to overpower it!
TK: And just how the heck do we do that?
Izzy: (VO, over a loudspeaker) Leave that to me!!
(TK and Kari look up to see Izzy in the sound booth, smiling.)
Izzy: (VO) Need some help?
TK/Kari: (unable to hear) What?
Izzy: (VO) Never mind
(Izzy presses a button on a control panel. A bunch of speakers and amplifiers pop in from under the stage and begin to amplify Soras music. It begins to affect the giant boombox.)
Kari: Its working.
(The giant boombox spits some flying ninja compact disks at the piano, which promptly slices it in half, disabling the music. Sora looks up.)
Sora: What happened?
Kari: Oh boy not good!
TK: Hey! That looked like an expensive piano!
Kari: Thats it TK- get mad. Vent your frustrations over the damaged Steinway!
TK: GATE OPEN!!
(This time it works, as his kendo stick glows blue, he charges at the boombox, and slices it in half, effectively destroying it. Once it is destroyed, everything returns to normal. Sora stands up, totally confused.)
Sora: Wh what just happened?
(Kari runs up.)
Kari: Im Kari Kamiya, and this is TK Takaishi. Your magic just helped us stop the Invaders. We need your help. We want you to become a Gatekeeper.
Sora: I have magic?
TK: Yep. And it just saved our hides.
(Izzy strolls in.)
Izzy: Not to mention the fact that I conveniently decided to tag along in case you needed me.
Sora: I should probably ask my mother
(Soras Mom enters.)
Soras Mom: Im not exactly sure what theyre asking you to do Sora but its a decision you will have to make on your own. I know Ive been a little demanding Sora, but right now you have to make this decision alone.
Sora: I do thats certainly nice of you.
Soras Mom: Nice has nothing to do with it. Look what happened to this place!
(Indeed, the concert hall is a total disaster.)
Soras Mom: Now I dont know about you, but the people who run this concert hall are going to be asking a lot of questions. So Im just going to make myself scarce until things die down. Bye!
(Soras Mom rushes out of the building.)
Sora: (clueless) Bye Mom!
TK: So will you join us?
Sora: Sure! I dont think Ill be doing any more concerts for awhile!
Kari: Glad to have you aboard.
(Before they can truly enjoy the moment, police sirens are heard.)
Izzy: But Soras Mom is right, lets get out of here!
(The four rush out of the building before the police arrive.)
End Episode Two
For those who are extremely anime-deprived, an explanation on a couple of the references- NERV is the secret government organization underneath Tokyo in "Evangelion" while Tenchi is a guy who has six girls fall for him, including the space pirate Ryoko and airhead cop Mihoshi.
Although a few selections Tai makes are genius, most of the
casting assignments Tai makes are totally confusing, and Sora as
the airhead Reiko is just the beginning. Once again, for the
Megane- Izzy Izumi
Reiko Asagiri- Sora Takenouchi
To avoid future confusion, the episode numbers and titles listed after the first scene are accurate according to the anime, while the number and titles at the beginning and end are relevant to Tais production and the fanfic itself.
Next Episode- Lets Find Another Idiot!
The trio of Gatekeepers head to Himeji Castle in search of another teammate. They find a new one, full of pride and with a desire to do good for the common man. That comes into play as a heartless corporation wants to fill some valuable salt fields. Could the Invaders be involved?